Cassandra Thorburn recently separated from her husband of 21 years, Today show presenter Karl Stefanovic, but instead of compassion from others during one of the toughest times in her life, she is being kicked when she is down.
In between school runs and her children's appointments on Tuesday, Thorburn spoke to Fairfax Media about feeling unfairly criticised by the media and people she doesn't know: "I don't think I deserve the criticism."
![Karl Stefanovic and Cassandra Thorburn have separated after 21 years together.](/web/20161029233527im_/http://www.canberratimes.com.au/content/dam/images/g/s/b/1/w/x/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gsar75.png/1477460424871.jpg)
Since it was revealed last month that Stefanovic moved out of the family home, Thorburn has borne the brunt of the media's attack. She has been accused of being bitter and there were insinuations she was drunk (she was not) when she wrote a Facebook post last Saturday part-congratulating herself for Channel Nine's Today's win over Channel 7's Sunrise. She has also come under fire for being a stay-at-home mother.
But Thorburn, who up until now has stayed silent about the intense media interest in her marriage breakup, has finally spoken out against the accusations directed at her character, saying: "Just because I am a stay-at-home mum now it doesn't mean that I don't have a brain." And she has not ruled out a return to her career as a journalist.
Thorburn eschewed the limelight and let Stefanovic bask in the spotlight of his successful television career while raising their three children, but had a successful career working for the ABC; TVNZ; Channel 7's Sunrise; Channel Ten's newsroom; Channel Nine's newsroom, Mornings with Kerri-Anne, and the Today show.
Stefanovic has often credited her for his success, which ultimately led to him becoming one of the highest paid stars on Australian television, with an unconfirmed $1.5 million-a-year contract. So she felt justified in toasting their ratings success with a glass of red wine, which she wrote about on her private Facebook page.
"My husband has always acknowledged me. I don't need acknowledgement from anyone else," she said. "It's been 11 years of my life, so how is it so wrong that I want to celebrate something that I did and had an involvement with for a long time? Eleven years he has been trying to win. Of course I want to celebrate the fact that finally they won," she said.
"I didn't think there was anything wrong with saying the Today show has won the ratings and I am going to have a drink to celebrate the contribution I made. There was no malice intended. This is the father of my three children."
![<i>Today Show</i> hosts Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson.](/web/20161029233527im_/http://www.canberratimes.com.au/content/dam/images/g/s/8/9/7/l/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gsar75.png/1477609625567.jpg)
Through the 11 years Stefanovic has starred on Today, Thorburn has often helped shape his interviews: "Of course we had many conversations about stories that were coming up, reactions. He would often get my opinion on something to see whether it was different to his or [my opinion] would give him a different idea and a different angle on the story. There is nothing wrong with that.
"I am a journalist. I am married to a journalist and I worked with that show."
![Today show producer Mark Calvert, Stefanovic, Wilkinson and Sylvia Jeffreys at Richard Wilkins' Today party on Saturday.](/web/20161029233527im_/http://www.canberratimes.com.au/content/dam/images/g/s/b/9/2/f/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gsar75.png/1477460424871.jpg)
A News.com.au article on Tuesday castigated Thorburn for applauding herself on her private Facebook page for Today's win in the 12-year-long ratings war with Channel 7's Sunrise, describing her post as an "emotionally-charged rant". Her Facebook post read:
"Apparently Today Show finally won a year. This took a huge toll on my family and I, and I'm congratulating myself today for all the effort that went into making that happen. The suggestions, the story ideas, the constant counselling of questions for years. I'm giving myself a pat on the back tonight, as I know many people will also know how much effort I put into it. Found a lovely tipple to cheers myself. Thanks for the red Sharon Finnigan SF Celebrity Management [Stefanovic's agent and Thorburn's good friend]."
![The Today show party on Saturday to celebrate their ratings win over Sunrise.](/web/20161029233527im_/http://www.canberratimes.com.au/content/dam/images/g/s/b/9/0/q/image.related.articleLeadNarrow.300x0.gsar75.png/1477560605515.jpg)
A second piece, by the same tabloid, criticised Thorburn for giving up her role as a successful journalist to stay at home and raise Jackson, 17, Ava, 11, and River 10. It also congratulated Stefanovic's Nine colleagues Lisa Wilkinson and Georgie Gardner for being working mothers, insinuating that Thorburn could and should have done the same.
Women's website Mamamia published a similar article last month about Thorburn with the headline: "Giving up your job to support your husband and raise kids is fine – if nothing ever goes wrong."
Thorburn told Fairfax Media: "It wasn't like I met Karl and had Jackson 17 years ago and said, 'Oh my goodness, I am going to stop working.' I worked for a long time. I was a working mum and now I am not a working mum."
She said any suggestion that she wrote the Facebook post after drinking the bottle of red and in reply to pictures of Stefanovic out partying with his Today colleagues at the home of his co-host, Richard Wilkins, was completely untrue.
"I didn't see the Facebook posts. I don't follow them all. They are not my Facebook friends. I put this up when I saw a story that the Today show had won. I didn't put it up out of malice," she explained.
"I just poured my first glass of red. I was celebrating something that has paid a huge part of my life."
She later added: "The biggest critics of women seem to be other women. We need to stop that."
Thorburn would not speak about her separation with Stefanovic, who is believed to have moved out of the family home last month. She had "no comment" to make when asked what she meant by the line: "This took a huge toll on my family and I."
When asked how she was feeling now, she said "good", but added: "It was a shock."
On Wednesday, she wrote an open letter titled, "Dear working mums," for Popsugar, defending herself and other stay-at-home mothers.
"I respect all working mums for the decision you made that was right for you. I only wish there was that same respect returned to stay-at-home mums," Thorburn wrote.
Stefanovic said last year that he had appreciated Thorburn's decision. "She gave up a promising career at the ABC and I'm forever thankful and tremendously appreciative of that," he said.
"Cass wanted to be at home, and wants to be there now, and we're very lucky to be in a financial position where we can do that. But should she ever want to go back to work, then of course she can."
Thorburn has not ruled out going back to work in future: "Yes, sure. Maybe. It was something that my husband and I agreed upon that I would stay home and look after the kids, so not now, maybe later. I really don't know yet. At the moment, no."
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