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• published: 24 Oct 2016
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hack de tinderTechnology isn’t strong enough to erase this politicized border, but it’s helping people reach across in meaningful ways. More than half of all Mexicans aged 18 to 34 own a smartphone equipped with tools to meet and then keep a cross-border lover closer than ever. You can talk constantly on WhatsApp or Twitter and send sexy selfies via Snapchat. Then there’s the Border Wait Time app, which estimates how long it will take to cross, or the “Como está la linea Tijuana” Facebook group. And if carless, you can even take an Uber into Mexico, though you’re on your own going the other way. (The service is not available in the opposite direction.) The mainstream conversation around contemporary courtship says we are amidst a technology-fueled “dating apocalypse.” Supposed lazy millennials ravenously swipe while out at bars, ignoring the IRL singles around them in search of quick, uncomplicated sex. Journalist Nancy Jo Sales says she heard one thing again and again when reporting on dating for Vanity Fair: “Too Easy,” “Too Easy,” “Too Easy.” But in Tijuana, Tinder isn’t so simple, as it reaches across an impossibly complicated line. In August, more than 46,000 matches were made between users on opposite sides of the border, nearly half from California. The app is connecting those who almost certainly would never have met organically, young people with a literal barrier—in some places three fences thick—keeping them apart. Unlike swiping at a Financial District bar and then cabbing it to Brooklyn for a one-night stand, Tijuana Tinder is anything but “easy.”Here’s a bunch of interesting stats about online dating apps, via Pew Research: The share of 18- to 24-year-old who use online dating has roughly tripled from 10% in 2013 to 27% today. Online dating use among 55- to 64-year-old has also risen substantially since the last Pew Research Center survey on the topic. Today, 12% of 55- to 64-year-old report ever using an online dating site or mobile dating app versus only 6% in 2013. Two thirds of online daters—66%—tell us that they have gone on a date with someone they met through a dating site or dating app. That is a substantial increase from the 43% of online daters who had actually progressed to the date stage when we first asked this question in 2005 Even among Americans who have been with their spouse or partner for five years or less, fully 88% say that they met their partner offline–without the help of a dating site. If the dating app Tinder created our swipe-left-or-swipe-right world, a new generation of competitors is piling on to perfect it: There’s Hinge, which offers a heightened level of curation—and less of the creepy randomness of Tinder—by linking you to your Facebook friends’ friends; Happen, which GPS-tracks your daily wanderings to see where you overlap with nearby girls; and Taste-buds, which raids your music collection to find women with similar musical tastes. (Those are just a few of the options out there.) And these apps aren’t just for hooking up: A whopping third of new marriages start out online or via apps, a number that’s expected to rise, according to a recent University of Chicago study. With so much dating firepower at your fingertips, why aren’t you sharing sheets all the time? Well, you’re probably doing it wrong, dating experts say. Remember: You have only a split second to catch a girl’s attention. So use these surefire, scientifically proven tricks and you’ll never sleep alone again.I never intended to be known as a “Tinder Expert,” but I’m certainly not mad because of it. My first Tinder experiment wasn’t written with the intention of going viral. But it did. These days, I own it. I love it. After helping hundreds of guys improve their match rates, increase their message response rates, and get more dates from Tinder, I like to think I know a thing or two about improving your success on the wildly popular dating app. After the original blog post went mainstream, I wrote an eBook called TinderHacks, which was an extension of my first experiment. I tested dozens of profile pictures to see which ones got the most matches. I optimized my bio to see what helped drive conversations. And I tested intro lines with my 4,000+ matches to see what women actually respond to. The book has done great, and continues to sell each and every day. The problem is — many readers take it too literally. Guys are hung up on copying exactly what I did, word-for-word, rather than learning from the underlying strategies and principles. The truth is, there isn’t one “magic opening line” that is going to get the best response rate for everyone. There are certainly good ones and bad ones, but the best one is unique based on your age, location, and the type of woman you’re trying to attract (check out Tinder Conversation Starters guide for ideas). The same goes for your bio, images,