Disgraced doctor is T.O.'s seduction guru

This story was first published in the Toronto Sun on Sunday, April 13, 2008

A disgraced Toronto doctor who had his medical licence stripped for repeated sexual misconduct 16 years ago has hung out a new shingle: Sex guru.

"Dimitri the Lover" insists he can teach men who attend his Toronto Real Men meetings and workshops how to make women "worship" them.

Billing himself as the "World's Greatest Lover and Seducer," Dimitri boasts that even average Joes can learn to woo and "expertly pleasure" the opposite sex.

Toronto is home to several "seduction lairs" and there are dozens in major cities across the country.

Self-described gurus and pickup artists such as Dimitri have been around at least since the '70s, notably when Eric Weber's book How to Pick Up Girls became a bestseller and a hit movie.

In the late '90s Clifford Lee, a consummate networker, began his Cliff's List Seduction Letter as a central voice of the community.

INTERNET EXCHANGE

And most recently the se -duction community gained some publicity with The Game, a book written by journalist and pickup artist Neil Strauss (known in "the community" as "Style").

The Internet has allowed these women hunters to trade techniques, organize meetings, arrange to cruise for chicks and popularize their own jargon -- "negging," "sarging," "peacocking" and "wingman" to describe strategies, techniques and tactics intended to help them get wo -men into bed.

Frank B. Kermit, founder of the Toronto Seduction Lair -- one of the first groups in the city -- said dating gurus exist because men are too scared to approach women, especially in Toronto, which is known as a frigid city romance-wise.

Kermit, 34, who recently left the Lair to become a relationship guru, said it was frustrating being lumped into the same category as others.

"One of the good ways to find out if they're legitimate or not is to find out what their story of pain is," he said. "This industry attracts the worst type of people."

Although each guru's philosophy differs, they're all cashing in. Through seminars, boot camps, membership fees and merchandise, seduction gurus can make between $30,000 and $1 million a year.

And there appears to be no shortage of men willing to pay for the advice.

Upstairs at Rancho Relaxo, a Mexican restaurant and lounge on College Street, Dimitri in a bold pinstripe sport jacket and black jeans has a group of 15 guys sitting in a circle, talking about techniques and schemes to meet and sweet-talk a woman into bed.

"I'm not sure what my problem is," asks one guy. "I can't just go up to a woman and talk to her."

According to Dimit -ri, Canadian men suppress their natural sexuality because the media tells them that being assertive of "macho" is equal to being abusive.

He advocates a more "European" approach to picking up women.

Dimitri tells the guy that compliments are his best bet if he wants to land her in bed.

He's suddenly authoritative -- the way cops interrogate suspects.

"Smile and go up to a woman and tell her she's beautiful, make up some shit," he says. "I swear, when they start flipping their hair, you know you can hit on them."

Apparently grocery stores are a haven for loose and frustrated women, and babes in the city are a lot more uptight than suburban women.

His theme this month is cruising for women in the 905.

"Downtown Oakville is full of chicks," Dimitri says. Some of the guys have begun taking notes.

"Lots of nice cougars," he continues. "But the best is Oshawa Centre ... a lot of them work in the GM plant and they make really good money. They're not looking for sugar daddies."

'BEAUTIFUL AND EASY'

"In Newmarket, Upper Canada Mall," he says. "Beautiful and easy. Problem with 416 area code ... they all think we're Paul Bernardo until proven otherwise."

The most promiscuous women, according to Dimitri's website, are saleswomen (especially real estate agents), nannies, schoolteachers (especially elementary and early childhood education), nurses and lawyers (criminal and civil litigation in particular).

Dimitri charges $40 to attend one of his weekday meetings, $269 for an annual membership to his "lair" and as much as $2,997 plus GST for a two-day workshop advertised on his website, dimitrithelover.com, where "Dimitri The Lover creates a powerful identity for you that women will find irresistible."

In an e-mail to the Sun, Dimitri insists he's not in the guru business for the money.

"Men pay me thousands of dollars just to spend a day watching me seduce women, and I make loads of money in my full-time business, so money's not an issue.

Dimitri is associated with Trillium Mortgage Services Inc., a company in a strip mall on Consumers Rd., near the 401 and Victoria Park Ave.

He also founded the Second Opinion Medical-Legal Consultants Group Inc. in 1994, which says it provides forensic medical investigations into malpractice, sexual harassment and wrongfully accused cases.

"People do not understand the benign, positive, healthy nature of our meetings," he insisted to the Sun.

"I adore women," said his e-mail, in which he referred to his meetings as a "community Service" where he helps shy and sexually inhibited men meet and have relations with women.

His website suggests otherwise.

"Learn the secret physical, verbal and psychological techniques used by Dimitri the Lover to seduce, pleasure and sexually enslave women," says one of his program outlines.

Or this: "A man's 'basic operating system' is composed of 'rapist' and 'murderer' programs which have been hard-wired into his brain.

"If there were no laws within society, the man would be constantly jumping women on the street."

DESCRIBED AS 'SLUTS'

Women are repeatedly referred to as "sluts" and his website is filled with immature and juvenile sexual references and animations.

"I have no issues with co-operating in the writing of an article in that the Toronto Real Men have nothing to hide," Dimitri wrote in his e-mail to the Sun.

"Although I am a perverted sex pig, I am the most non-misogynistic man you will ever meet.

"Oh, and make sure to mention in your article that I am strikingly handsome, more charming than Barack Obama, exude a sensual aura, ... oh, and don't forget humble!"

University of Toronto feminist philosophy professor Amy Mullin said it's dangerous and unhealthy to buy into Dimitri's depiction of women as sluts.

"I thought it interesting that he claimed to be sexist but non-misogynist because he 'loved stimulating women's bodies and minds,' " Mullin said. "You need to think of women as more than instruments to your own pleasure, which he tended to reduce them to."

She also said that because women's pleasures differ from men's, "it strikes me as highly unlikely that someone following his methods and goal of "penetrating 10 new female orifices a month would be a good lover."

In his ads, Dimitri suggests his pickup and seduction techniques are medically sound.

"Combining his medical training with years of field research on the streets of Toronto, he has figured out a way in which to identify women who crave (sex)," states one of his blurbs.

"Dimitri The Lover is the ONLY pickup guru in the world WITH PROFESSIONAL CREDENTIALS TO BACK HIM UP who has conducted IN-FIELD MEDICAL RESEARCH ON SEDUCTION!!!" he proclaims in another.

However, his troubled past and medical credentials are hardly worth bragging about.

Dimitri the Lover's real name is James N. Sears.

Sears' childhood was hardly idyllic. One parent was abusive and alcoholic and the other struggled with mental illness, according to court transcripts and disciplinary records from Ontario's College of Physicians and Surgeons.

Sears, as a child, was "subject to compulsive ritualistic behaviour and had developed an attention-deficit disorder with hyperactivity," states a 1992 college record on sexual impropriety charges against him.

Sears was also exceptionally bright. He claims a 170 IQ.

He entered medical school at the University of Toronto in 1983. Within two years, at age 22, he came under scrutiny from psychiatrists for erratic behaviour.

By 1986, Sears was in the Canadian Armed Forces and while still a third-year medical student was evaluated by a military psychiatrist who suggested there was "something seriously wrong" with Sears.

He was shunned by fellow students because of his behaviour. A female officer complained he repeatedly tried to enter her room, and military police found "a can of Mace, several knives, two empty smoke grenade canisters and an electronic stun gun" in his room following an incident.

As a result of his antics, Sears had to repeat a year of medical school. Despite documented reservations, he graduated from U of T as a doctor in 1988.

During his internship at Doctors Hospital in Toronto, Sears skipped duties, drank while on call, indulged in "inappropriate self-use of prescription drugs," according to the College hearing record.

Sears was judged "immature" in a subsequent psychiatric assessment and it was noted he displayed "inappropriate behaviour towards female staff members," and was viewed by peers as "un -trustworthy, cynical and narcissistic."

He underwent psychotherapy and was admitted to Ottawa's National Defence Medical Centre in 1990 for evaluation and treatment.

There, "record was made of numerous, random and obsessive telephone calls to women during which he would sometimes masturbate," and evidence suggested "prescribable substance abuse," according to the College hearing records.

However, after a conclusion of "no clear evidence of major psychiatric illness," Sears was cleared to return to medical practice.

He apparently found military medicine boring, "which led to compulsive masturbation up to six times per day, which was accomplished by going off to the washroom in between patients," the records state.

Psychotherapy and pharmaceutical treatment was recommended, and Sears was transferred to Toronto to receive treatment at the Clarke Institute, but no grounds were seen to prevent him from continuing to work as a doctor.

James Sears' medical career began to fall apart in 1991, when the College of Physicians and Surgeons suspended his licence following complaints from female patients.

By late 1992, Sears would plead guilty to two counts of sexual assault and he would be stripped of his medical licence for sexual impropriety.

In court documents from his sentencing, Justice Hugh Locke stated Sears made unwanted "verbal sexual overtures" toward his patients and "sexually assaulted them by attempting to kiss and to embrace them," while on house calls.

"That unacceptable type of conduct was obviously terrifying to his victims," Justice Locke wrote.

By 1994, Sears was unemployed and his marriage had fallen apart.

APPEALED CONVICTION

However, he appealed the sexual assault charges against him, defended himself and was acquitted, subsequently stating his lawyers had "pressured" him into pleading guilty at the initial hearing.

Sears refused a request by the Sun to discuss the charges or allegations against him, saying they were a matter of public record.

Back at the lair meeting, Dimitri is bragging about his conquests.

"I drove up to Newmarket to get laid in a snowstorm because she was hot," Dimitri tells the guys.

"Took 45 minutes to get there, half hour to warm her up, an hour to service her, half hour so she didn't feel like she was used."

The guys in the room all laugh.