Oneira is a science fiction comedy written for BBC Radio 4 Extra by Robert Easby. It tells a surreal story of the encounter between a young museum guard, called Oneira, and a 400-year-old alchemist calling himself Nikolai. Nikolai claims to be the artist who painted one of the pictures hanging in the museum. The painting includes a figure who resembles Nikolai himself. He also tells Oneira that he and she are destined to search for a book of alchemy called the Lux Ata or "Book of Black Light". The resulting quest involves aliens, string theory, a sinister official from the electricity board called "Mister Resistor", a TV cooking show, a cappuccino bar, a comedian travelling by flying saucer, and a dead science fiction author. Oneira's boyfriend Pete is transformed from an up-and-coming young financier in the City into a bucket of water and a pair of Argyll socks while their expensive penthouse flat is destroyed by a ravenous refrigerator.
Bring me the head of John the Baptist
show it round and shine
his cloudy, marble, crossed and final eyes
once more into mine.
Give me a leg up high enough
to see beyond this wall,
to be the first to see the victors take the gate
or to be the last one so fall.
I said, “I meant a world of good”
and she said, “I wouldn't doubt it”
standing where she was,
she kissed the back of my head;
I said, “we could make the woods”
but she said, “how ‘bout it —
let's sleep and let them
find us here instead.”
Every time I catch a good sang
wouldn't you know — the station starts to fade,
but every step I've ever taken
has brought me in time just to hear it slip away.
Bring me the head of John the Baptist
show it round and shine
his cloudy, marble, crossed and final eyes