Website's Built-In Search Engine Just Pathetic

NEWS IN BRIEF July 22nd, 2013

CHICAGO—Following several unsuccessful attempts to find a specific article on a national media website, readers confirmed Monday that the built-in search engine found in the upper-right-hand ...

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Trump Holds Strategy Meeting With Campaign’s Top Militia Leaders Ahead Of Election Day

NEWS IN BRIEF October 20th, 2016

NEW YORK—Sitting down with his most heavily armed advisors to go over potential courses of action, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly held a strategy meeting with his campaign’...

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Report: Peaceful Transfer Of Power Makes Last-Minute Push To Become Most Pressing Issue Of 2016 Election

NEWS IN BRIEF October 20th, 2016

WASHINGTON—Saying the subject came “completely out of nowhere,” Americans across the country reported Thursday that they were taken aback by how the peaceful transfer of executive power in the Unit...

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FEC Extends Election By 7 Months To Give Nation Chance To Better Get To Know Candidates

NEWS IN BRIEF October 20th, 2016

WASHINGTON—In an effort to help voters make an informed decision at the polls, the Federal Election Commission announced Thursday it would be extending the U.S. presidential election by seven month...

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Third-Grader Clearly Biting Off More Than He Can Chew At Elementary School Book Fair

NEWS IN BRIEF October 20th, 2016

COLUMBUS, OH—Watching in disbelief as the youngster added another children’s novel to his quickly growing stack, sources confirmed Thursday that local third-grader Hayden Schmidt was clearly biting...

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Trump Won’t Concede Election If He Loses

AMERICAN VOICES October 20th, 2016

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5 Things To Know About Jill Stein

VIDEO: ONION INFO CLIPS October 20th, 2016

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Fact-Checking The Third Presidential Debate

INFOGRAPHIC October 20th, 2016

Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesd...

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Alternative Social Media Sites

VIDEO: ONION INFO CLIPS October 20th, 2016

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Man Praying Interviewer Doesn’t Ask Any Questions

NEWS IN BRIEF October 20th, 2016

MINNEAPOLIS—His mouth going dry and his palms growing sweaty as he arrived at the offices of Regent Advertising Partners to interview for an open account manager position, local man Devin McKee rep...

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Origins Of Popular Slang Terms

INFOGRAPHIC October 20th, 2016

As the internet helps push new words and expressions into common usage, many may wonder where our most ubiquitous idioms come from. Here are the origins of some popular slang terms and phrases

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Trump Campaign Training Poll Watchers To Spot Any Suspicious Skin Colors On Election Day

NEWS IN BRIEF October 20th, 2016

HARRISBURG, PA—Instructing volunteers to remain alert and pay close attention to every individual who arrives at their voting location, the “Trump Election Observer” section of Donald Trump’s campa...

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Highlights From The Final Presidential Debate

LIVE COVERAGE October 20th, 2016

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Guide To Home Ownership

ARTICLE October 20th, 2016

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Porn Industry Protests Condom Requirement

AMERICAN VOICES October 20th, 2016

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Intergalactic Law Enforcement Officers Place Energy Shackles On Hillary Clinton

NEWS IN BRIEF October 19th, 2016

PARADISE, NV—Materializing through a dimensional portal in front of a stunned audience at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, intergalactic law enforcement officers reportedly appeared onstage dur...

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Chris Wallace Receives Cease-And-Desist Letter From Trump Organization In Middle Of Questioning Candidate About Groping Allegations

NEWS IN BRIEF October 19th, 2016

PARADISE, NV—Interrupted by an aide to the Republican nominee who strode up to his table during the third presidential debate Wednesday, moderator Chris Wallace is said to have received a cease-and...

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Undecided Debate Viewer Waiting Until He Hears Same Responses For Seventh Time Before Making Decision

NEWS IN BRIEF October 19th, 2016

FORT WAYNE, IN—Saying he was still on the fence and was hoping Wednesday night’s final presidential debate would provide him with some clarity, undecided voter Kevin Dewey told reporters he is wait...

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Moderator Explains That GOP Will Have 2 Minutes After Every Trump Response To Distance Selves From Candidate

NEWS IN BRIEF October 19th, 2016

PARADISE, NV—Reminding viewers of the agreed-upon rules before the start of Wednesday’s third presidential debate, moderator Chris Wallace explained that the rest of the GOP would be given two minu...

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Presidential Debate Commission Anesthetizes Audience To Prevent Outbursts During Debate

NEWS IN BRIEF October 19th, 2016

PARADISE, NV—In an effort to ensure that voters watching at home could follow the discussion onstage without distraction, the Commission on Presidential Debates announced it would be anesthetizing ...

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Police Chief Apologizes To Minorities For Mistreatment

AMERICAN VOICES October 19th, 2016

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