Delivered (2009)

Actors: Greg Carlson (writer), Greg Carlson (producer), Greg Carlson (writer), Greg Carlson (miscellaneous crew), Mike Scholtz (actor), Mike Scholtz (editor), Mike Scholtz (writer), Tucker Lucas (director), Tucker Lucas (writer), Toby Jones (actor), Tom Seim (miscellaneous crew), Tom Seim (actor), Emily Meyer (actress), Tierney Michon (actress), Ben Hanson (miscellaneous crew),

Genres: Horror, Short,

Never Say Macbeth (2007)

Actors: Melodee Spevack (actress), Bill Butler (editor), Ruth Silveira (actress), Stephen Butler (editor), Jonathan Levit (actor), Velvet Rhodes (actress), Gregory Gifford Giles (actor), Mark Deklin (actor), John Mazza (miscellaneous crew), Joe Tyler Gold (producer), Alexander Enberg (actor), Joe Tyler Gold (actor), Joe Tyler Gold (writer), Ilana Turner (actress), Tammy Caplan (actress),

Plot: Danny Teller, a high school science teacher, shows up at auditions for Macbeth trying to get his girlfriend back. But the director mistakes Danny's story of love for a passionate acting monologue, and casts him as Witch #1. More comfortable with spacecraft than stagecraft, Danny struggles with rehearsals, and incurs the wrath of the cast when he breaks the cardinal rule of acting by saying "Macbeth" in the theatre. That's when things get weird. Lights fall, fruit floats, and freaky ghosts start singing show tunes. Danny teams up with a new-age actress, a tough Italian self-help guru, and a sci-fi obsessed stage manager to save the actors and his ex-girlfriend from the curse of Macbeth.

Keywords: actor, acupuncture, audition, cauldron, director, ghost, pirate, play, reference-to-gilbert-and-sullivan, reference-to-oscar-wilde
Genres: Comedy,
Taglines: The curse of Macbeth . . . It brings fire! Death! Boring first dates!

The Pirates of Penzance (2006)

Actors: William S. Gilbert (writer), Arthur Sullivan (composer), Simon Klaebe (editor), Bruce Best (director), Bruce Best (producer), David Hobson (actor), Anthony Warlow (actor), Suzanne Johnston (actress), Richard Alexander (actor), John Bolton-Wood (actor), Martin Robertson (producer), Taryn Fiebig (actress), Andrew Brunsdon (actor),

Genres: Adventure, Musical,

The Parson's Pirates (2004)

Actors: William S. Gilbert (writer), Arthur Sullivan (composer), Richard Suart (actor), Richard Suart (actor), Richard Suart (actor), Richard Suart (actor), Martin George (actor), Martin George (actor), Louise Crane (actress), Louise Crane (actress), Louise Crane (actress), Louise Crane (actress), Martin George (actor), Ian Belsey (actor), Ian Belsey (actor),

Genres: Music,

The Pirates of Penzance (1985)

Actors: William S. Gilbert (writer), Brent Carver (actor), Arthur Sullivan (composer), Domenico Fiore (actor), Norman Campbell (director), David Gale (actor), Nigel Hamer (actor), David Keeley (actor), Michael Beattie (actor), Jeff Hyslop (actor), Larry Mannell (actor), Scott Hurst (actor), Ruth Nichol (actress), Suzanne Mess (costume designer), Douglas Chamberlain (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Musical,

The Pirates of Penzance (1982)

Actors: William S. Gilbert (writer), Douglas Fairbanks Jr. (actor), Jenny Beavan (costume designer), Keith Michell (actor), Julia Sawalha (actress), Edward Simons (producer), Rodney Greenberg (director), George Walker (producer), Judith de Paul (producer), Peter Allen (actor), Alexander Oliver (actor), Janis Kelly (actress), Kate Flowers (actress), Jenny Wren (actress), Gillian Knight (actress),

Plot: As a young child, Frederic had been apprenticed to a pirate by mistake when he should have been apprenticed to a pilot. Now, having reached his 21st year, Frederic's indentures are at last over and he happily leaves the service of the pirates. When Frederic meets the beautiful Mabel, one of the many daughters (or wards in Chancery) of Major-General Stanley, they fall in love and decide to marry. However, complications arise when the pirates decide to marry the rest of the Major-General's daughters, themselves - and Frederic's birthdate turns out to be not all it seems.

Keywords: comic-opera, gilbert-and-sullivan, operetta
Genres: Comedy, Musical,

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Actors: Jennifer Jason Leigh (actress), Ray Walston (actor), Eric Stoltz (actor), Forest Whitaker (actor), Vincent Schiavelli (actor), James Russo (actor), Sean Penn (actor), Nicolas Cage (actor), Stuart Cornfeld (actor), Taylor Negron (actor), Sonny Carl Davis (actor), Judge Reinhold (actor), Anthony Edwards (actor), Cameron Crowe (writer), Cameron Crowe (writer),

Plot: Follows a group of high school students growing up in southern California, based on the real-life adventures chronicled by Cameron Crowe. Stacy Hamilton and Mark Ratner are looking for a love interest, and are helped along by their older classmates, Linda Barrett and Mike Damone, respectively. The center of the film is held by Jeff Spicoli, a perpetually stoned surfer dude who faces off with the resolute Mr. Hand, who is convinced that everyone is on dope.

Keywords: 1980s, abortion, advice, american-football, apology, bare-breasts, based-on-book, bathroom, bikini, bong
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Romance,
Taglines: Fast Cars, Fast Girls, Fast Carrots...Fast Carrots? Hey Bud, Let's Party! [DVD] It's Awesome! Totally Awesome! At Ridgemont High Only the Rules get Busted!

Quotes:

Linda Barrett: What do you mean, better in bed? Either you do it or you don't.

Mike Damone: I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.::Mark Ratner: Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.::Mike Damone: That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude.::Mark Ratner: The attitude?::Mike Damone: Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.

Mike Damone: Look at you: member of the honor roll, assistant to the assistant manager of the movie theater. I'm tellin' ya, Rat, if this girl can't smell your qualifications, then who needs her, right?

Jeff Spicoli: This is U.S. History, I see the globe right there.

Brad Hamilton: [dumping out cold fries] I shall serve no fries before their time.

Jeff Spicoli: Aloha, Mr. Hand.

Mr. Hand: Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.

Jeff Spicoli: What Jefferson was saying was, Hey! You know, we left this England place 'cause it was bogus; so if we don't get some cool rules ourselves - pronto - we'll just be bogus too! Get it?

Mike Damone: I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of fuckin' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera.

Mike Damone: You are a wuss: part wimp, and part pussy.

The Pirate Movie (1982)

Actors: Roger Ward (actor), Christopher Atkins (actor), Bill Kerr (actor), William S. Gilbert (writer), Ken Annakin (director), Kristy McNichol (actress), Bill Gooley (miscellaneous crew), Frank Howson (actor), Garry McDonald (actor), Garry McDonald (actor), Martin Copping (actor), Peter Hosking (actor), Michael Lake (actor), Fran Burke (miscellaneous crew), Arthur Sullivan (composer),

Plot: A parody/homage to Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance, The Pirate Movie is a comedy/musical utilizing both new songs and parodies from the original, as well as references to popular films of the time, including Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark. In your typical boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy fights girl with swords plot, the story revolves around Mabel, the youngest of Maj. Gen. Stanley's many daughters, and Frederic, an ex-Pirate of Penzance. They fall in love and proceed to retrieve the Stanley's fortune from the Pirates (stolen 20 years ago). The Pirate King informs Frederic that due to him being born on Feb. 29th (during a leap year), Frederic is still technically the King's apprentice. Frederic must then decide between duty and honor, the only good qualities the King taught him, and true love.

Keywords: affection, apology, attraction, bare-chested-male, beach, belch, bicycle, blond-man, boat, boy
Genres: Adventure, Comedy, Musical, Romance,
Taglines: Buckle Your Swash and Jolly Your Roger for the Funniest Rock 'N Rollickin' Adventure Ever! Set sail for the musical comedy adventure of the summer!

Quotes:

Mabel: The body's an eight, the brain's a ten, so let's go.

Mabel: You poor thing. Pirates! You mean like walking the plank? Buried treasure? Hack, slash, off with his head, and the Jolly Richard, and everything?::Frederic: Roger.::Mabel: Oh, Roger I love it.::Frederic: No, Frederic without a "k."::Mabel: Mabel, also without a "k." God, we have so much in common.

Mabel: You'll be hung!::The Pirate King: Oh I am, I am, and very well thank you.

The Pirate King: What's the age of consent around here?::Mabel: Eighteen.::The Pirate King: Good! I'm old enough.

Frederic: Oh I love you. I'll always love you, come what may.::Mabel: "Come what may"? We'll all be murdered in our beds come what may.::Frederic: Well run. For God's sake run!::Mabel: Death before dishonor. Besides, have you tried running in one of these things? It's a real bitch.

[Mabel comes in and finds Frederic laying in a coffin]::Mabel: Frederic, what are you doing?::Frederic: Oh, hiding.::Mabel: My Frederic, hiding? It cannot be the lion-heart troubles at the coming conflict. My love - a wimp!::Frederic: No, Mabel. A terrible disclosure's just been made.::Mabel: Then zip it up!

[the Pirate King has just cornered Frederick in their swordfight, the Pirate King has his sword pointed between Frederick's legs]::The Pirate King: Drop it, or...::Frederic: *Nuts*!::The Pirate King: Them, too!

Frederic: [sitting rubbing his back as a horse runs off] Ohhh! Oww! Ouch! Well I've been at sea since I was one, how the hell would I know how to ride a horse?

Mabel: Frederic, you're not gay, are you?::Frederic: [high voice] No!::[clears throat and in a lower voice]::Frederic: No.::Mabel: The way you and the Pirate King get around in those rather feminine, pleated shirts and all that leather.::Frederic: Mabel!::Mabel: Hey! I'm not prejudiced. I mean, what does this country got a navy for? Screw 'em if they can't take a joke!::Frederic: You're weird.::Mabel: All kidding aside, tell me this. Are you a virgin?::Frederic: I don't know.::Mabel: Near enough.

Mabel: Frederic, these are the 1880s. You can't live your life by the outmoded conventions of a neo-imperialist society. Find your true center!::Frederic: What? You mean Zen piracy?::Mabel: [unlaces her shirt and pulls it down to show her corset] Frederic, have you ever worn a whalebone corset? Well no, we established that, didn't we? It chokes and strangles, Frederic! I won't be choked and strangled by someone else's dumb ideas of custom and duty! [to stone statue] Would you Harry, would you? [to Frederic] Never to know the rich and real, wondrous person beating and throbbing inside me. Frederic, can you see me throbbing?::Frederic: I see! I see! I'm throbbing too!