An entirely superficial look at the second presidential debate. Or why this is the best TV EVER.
There is something utterly, utterly delicious about the presidential debates between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.
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2nd US presidential debate highlights
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump battle in the second presidential town hall debate held at Washington University in St. Louis on Monday.
Something shiveringly thrilling. I call it "Not Two Boring Men In Suits Boring Drily On And Sticking To Script."
That's the vice-presidential debates.
Clinton and Trump's televised debate meetings have been scintillating. Not because they have made clear what each candidate proposes to do if elected to office – only Santa Claus knows that.
It is because they are full of personal tics, simmering rage, barely suppressed eye-rolls and sentences that seem to have no meaning but remain compellingly bizarre.
Trump is a man who looks like he can hardly believe everyone in the room is not an employee he can fire at any moment.
Hillary looks like a woman close to utter incredulity that it has come to this.
Here is why no Oscar film, no HBO miniseries set in a mythical kingdom with dragons, is as good as Clinton and Trump holding microphones while talking and walking into the night on a blue carpet emblazoned with white stars in front of Anderson Cooper and Martha Raddatz.
Hair
Trump and Clinton, essentially, have the same hairstyle. They may even have the same foundation, although it could be argued Trump applies his while wearing sunglasses because there is no other good reason for the pale circles around his eyes.
In this TV appearance, Trump's hair seemed to have developed gel-like lines as if he had smeared a honey-covered finger along each side and let mice lick it down flat.
Touching the Stool
At times Trump touched his stool with the suppressed rage of a man about to implode.
He gripped it, he stood behind it, he leaned against it. Sometimes he moved his hips back and forth towards it with eyes closed as if he was about to start mating like a fluffy ornamental chicken mistaking a padded bar stool for a sexy fowl.
Ok guys this is really the best picture of the entire election. pic.twitter.com/VGjsp8NQ0r
— Brian Adam Jones (@bjones) October 10, 2016
Sometimes he walked up behind Clinton to ... ? Smell her perfume? Perform a leapfrog?
What. Is. He. Doing. pic.twitter.com/6uE8sf09ul
— James West (@jameswest2010) October 10, 2016
The microphone
Trump's seemed to work fine. He held it like Groucho Marx holding a cigar before he waddled around the room and broke into Lydia the Tattooed Lady.
Locker room talk
"This is locker room talk," Trump said in response to questions about being recorded 11 years ago saying he grabbed women "by the pussy" and "I did try and f--- her. She was married." and "When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything."
Here is what locker room talk has been for me and, probably, most people: "I've forgotten to bring my socks." "How does this hair dryer work?" "Let's just do a quick run on the treadmill and then go and and have a coffee."
Melania's pussy bow blouse
Trump's wife looked terrific and she wore a "pussy-bow silk crepe de chine shirt".
Was it an arch, non-condoning reference to her husband's lewd use of the term?
Who knows? But it is available at Net-A-Porter for $US1,100.
. @jennifereduffy It is. It is the pussy-bow. pic.twitter.com/xfwPaW008G
— Kate Bennett (@KateBennett_DC) October 10, 2016
Other style news
Full fashion points to Ken Bone, the uncommitted voter in the red jumper with zip-up collar, who asked.
"What steps will your energy policy take to meet our energy needs while at the same time remaining environmentally friendly and minimising job layoffs?"
It was a good question and sparked discussion of clean coal, green energy and the Middle East.
But it also catapulted a man who got up on Sunday morning and decided to put on a cherry-red, cable-knit pullover for an internationally televised presidential debate later that evening to international fame.
Well played sir!
This is the hero America needs right now. pic.twitter.com/H606ZZuHiz
— Adam Conover (@adamconover) October 10, 2016
This sweater about to be sold out #kenbone pic.twitter.com/3dyY0YuC3t
— klaudy zel (@klaudiazel) October 10, 2016
The Worst Cocktail Party Ever
After the debate everyone had to mill about and look interested in each other, shaking hands with complete strangers.
It looks like, basically, the worst cocktail party ever because a) there are no cocktails, b) the only entertainment is using disposable cameras to take photos of each other (mobile phone presumably being banned) or c) you wish you had also worn a pussy-bow blouse.
Still – Ken Bone had a good time.
Kenneth Bone, fashion icon, and disposable camera user https://t.co/1Lr8robAoq
— Brody Logan (@BrodyLogan) October 10, 2016