Death sucks. It really does. Someone dies and for those left behind it's like a mirror has just been smashed into a million tiny pieces, fragmented forever.
Grief manifests itself in so many ways, and it's not always particularly nice.
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Day four of the Phil Hughes inquest
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Inquest into the death of Phillip Hughes wraps up
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Final day of the Phil Hughes inquest
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Day five of the Phil Hughes inquest
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South Africa whitewash Australia 5-0
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Day three of the Phil Hughes inquest
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Day two of the Phil Hughes inquest
Day four of the Phil Hughes inquest
The fourth day of the inquest into the death of cricketer Phil Hughes.Vision courtesy: ABC News 24
When Phillip Hughes died on November 27, 2014, two days after he was struck by a bouncer during a Sheffield Shield match between South Australia and NSW at the SCG, lives grew apart almost instantly.
The division and now palpable anger between the grieving Hughes family and Cricket Australia has been laid bare at this week's coronial inquest, which thankfully concludes on Friday.
On the surface, it has seemed extraordinarily unfair: NSW cricketers Brad Haddin, Doug Bollinger and Dave Warner, as well as Hughes'Â final batting partner, Tom Cooper, being grilled about a passage of play that happens in cricket almost every weekend, every fixture, every level.
Short balls. Intimidation. Sledging that pushes the boundaries. The centuries-old tradition of bat and ball.
Sitting in the front row, members of the Hughes family - father Greg, mother Virginia, sister Megan and brother Jason - have reacted with hostility to almost anything that comes from their mouths.
The assumption is this is a family lashing out, trying to assign blame, and it feeds into growing speculation that they are seeking further compensation to the payout they have already received from Cricket Australia.
This column has been assured in no uncertain terms this is not the case.
Much has been made of Jason Hughes'Â claim that he was told during solemn drinks at the SCG on the night his brother died that Bollinger had admitted he'd delivered a haunting sledge: "I am going to kill you".
To the outsider, it appears grossly unfair this would be raised now, two years after the fact and when it was something said on the field, in the heat of battle. A sledge did not kill Phillip Hughes.
Counsel assisting the hearing, Kristina Stern, SC, has told State Coroner Michael Barnes that he should make no finding that "any comments that day in any way exacerbated the risk of injury to Phillip Hughes".
What isn't known is that Jason - along with other members of his family - were interviewed by police a month after Phillip's death when they were still in deep shock.
At no stage did he know that his evidence about the Bollinger sledge would be used at a coronial inquest two years later. He'd simply told them what he knew.
The Hughes family also didn't know until the first day of this inquest that cricketers and officials were interviewed only two months ago.
Many in the court have been taken aback by the family's hostile reactions. Indeed, when Bollinger was testifying on Monday, the rage felt by Hughes' parents was there for all to see. It was confronting to watch.
Notwithstanding how difficult this has been for the players called to appear, the family's resentment comes after days of conflicting evidence that has effectively painted them as liars.
Those close to them say the week has been much tougher on them than many had initially feared. They are aware of some of the puerile attacks on social media.
The Hughes family has not called for this inquest to "seek closure", as some have claimed.
They have been privately concerned for two years about the number of short-pitched deliveries sent down to Phillip that afternoon, but are not looking to apportion culpability.
A cricketer was killed in a first-class game of cricket, at the SCG, and it took three phone calls for an ambulance to arrive and an hour after the incident for him to arrive at hospital. The NSW State Coroner decides whether an inquest goes ahead. Not the family.
On the flipside, though, you must empathise with the players as they replay the nightmare of that afternoon. These men lost a great mate, playing the game they all love. That has been forgotten by some this week.
Now, they've been cross-examined and questioned about the way they go about their business.
To many, this seems grossly unfair, especially when anyone with any understanding of the game realises that short-pitched bowling and sledging are all part of the game, not least at a first-class level. But as anyone with an understanding of the courts will tell you, this is the nature of a coronial inquest.
Barnes is expected to hand down his findings before the end of October, and it will surprise if anything is recommended outside of emergency procedures at sporting fixtures.
What's left is the chasm between the Hughes family and the cricket community.
Two years ago, international superstars stood at the bar with tradies at the Macksville Ex-services Club following Phillip's emotional funeral service.
The game showed the family the utmost respect when Hughes was killed, but much of that goodwill has sadly eroded.
Grief distorts everything. Death sucks.
Pass the popcorn
Coach Des Hasler's fate will be decided today. Photo: Getty Images
What a showdown there will be in Bulldogs Land on Friday: chairman Ray Dib up against coach Des Hasler.
Or, as others explain it, the man who hates shelling out money up against the man who cannot get enough of it.
Pass me the popcorn.
Hasler is reportedly seeking a $1.2 million release from the final year of his contract, and given the fact the Dogs have told him who can and can't be on his coaching staff as well as board members criticising him publicly why wouldn't he?
There is no way Dib will come at that, however. A messy standoff at an extraordinary board meeting looms.
When we wrote in this very space earlier this year that Des was on shaky ground - not our words, but that of a few directors - chief executive Raelene Castle declared a two-year contract extension for the coach beyond 2017 was imminent.
It never came.
Your humble correspondent happened to be in the same corporate suite as some Bulldogs powerbrokers when their side played Penrith in the first week of the finals.
Let's just say none of them were too pleased with the way the side had limped out of the finals that night.
It's been said Des just doesn't understand the Bulldogs culture. Which is ironic. Wasn't he snatched from Manly because the Dogs were failing under Kevin Moore, a favourite son?
Flagging fortunes
Andrew Fifita is on the outer. Photo: Getty Images
The campaign is on in earnest to present Sharks prop Andrew Fifita as a "devout Catholic and good kid from the western suburbs done good" after he was omitted from the Kangaroos squad for the Four Nations.
Those pushing his barrow must've missed the story last year when he was banned for six weeks and fined $30,000 for abusing a junior referee. Very Christian of him.
For those late to the party, Fifita is not facing sanction for visiting one-punch killer Kieran Loveridge in jail. It's because of his "FKL" armguard and what the bloody "F" stands for.
Yes, it's ridiculous that the NRL's integrity unit has taken this long to hand down a decision, but it is awaiting police and corrective services surveillance to see if one of the three versions of Fifita's story they've been told lines up.
A sizeable fine is the likely outcome, but that's about it.
As for his omission from the Australian side, the game can pick whoever it wants in a rep team, surely. As coach Mal Meninga said at the Kangaroos' farewell function on Sunday: "Pick good blokes, you get good footballers."
The man who brought down Armstrong
David Walsh uncovered the cheating by Lance Armstrong.
The Sunday Times journalist who brought down disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong will be the headline guest when the annual Sports Writers Festival comes to Sydney for the first time later this month.
David Walsh, who wrote the damning best-seller Seven Deadly Sins, will talk about the heavy price he paid in pursuing one of the world's most revered athletes.
The festival started last year and is the brainchild of broadcaster Francis Leach.
"With his work exposing Lance Armstrong, David Walsh helped rescue cycling and won a fantastic victory for integrity in sport," Leach said.
Walsh will be in conversation with Leach at Giant Dwarf, 199 Cleveland Street, Redfern, on October 19. To book tickets and for more information go to: www.sportswritersfestival.com.au.
Q&A;: Sam Thaiday
Sam Thaiday is ready for the Kiwis. Photo: Jonathan Carroll
We speak to the Kangaroos forward ahead of Saturday night's Test against the Kiwis in Perth.
How's it going over there, big fella?
It's about 33 degrees over here so I'm looking forward to getting the lid off, getting around in the Budgie Smugglers, getting a tan before we go to England for the Four Nations.
Just strutting around the hotel pool?
No, just walking the streets of Fremantle.
I hear they've been doing auditions for The Voice at the team hotel.
I was close to getting an audition but they backflipped. I was going to sing either Whitney Houston's I'm Every Woman or some Johnny Cash. Ring of Fire or Walk the Line.
Google your name and what pops up are some of your memorable quotes at press conferences this year. You've sledged everyone, including Jarryd Hayne, but mainly yourself.
I've been trying hard. I'm going to sit down in the off-season and come up with some more.
Spoken to Jarryd at all?
Nah. I hope not. He's friends with bikies.
What about Wayne Bennett, the England coach? You'd have a few sledges lined up for him?
I'll have a few for him. Hopefully, they will be successful or Wayne will be sneaking through the back door at Brisbane Airport when he comes back.
Looking forward to touring? I recall seeing you at the team hotel in Leeds one night years ago cradling two McFlurries from McDonald's.
That was the old Sammy. Now I have three. I love touring England, it's a lot of fun. I'm not sure I will have another chance to tour again because I am getting a little bit older.
What about this game against the Kiwis?
They'll be a more aggressive team under David Kidwell. They've got a big forward pack again so we will have our hands full in the middle of the field.
The Week
THE QUOTE
"You're wrong, and only the type of wrong an over-tanned ham hock like yourself can accomplish, plummeting past the morass of gross incivility into the abyss of depraved sociopathy." – Former NFL player Chris Kluwe didn't take too kindly this week to Donald Trump's "locker-room talk" reference.
THUMBS UP
Was there any greater sight in sport this year or even decade than tiny filly Yankee Rose bravely reeling in the leaders, flying down the outside, to win the group one Spring Champion Stakes at Randwick last Saturday? Didn't think so. And, yes, I am talking through my kick.
THUMBS DOWN
NSW Premier Mike Baird boldly declared the world' best rectangular stadium would be built at Moore Park … then it wasn't. He boldly declared he'd shut down the greyhound industry next year … then he didn't. Leave sport alone, Premier. Oh, and keep the pubs open longer.
It's a big weekend for … Jameka, who lines up as the $3.30 favourite to win one of the big three - the Caulfield Cup (2400m) - on Saturday.
It's an even bigger weekend for … Wanderers fans, who must fight the overwhelming urge to buy a pyrotechnic, take it into a footy stadium, and then light it so their side doesn't lose competition points. Our thoughts are with them.
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