Growing up, my brother and had our own carefully guarded bedrooms at our mum’s house and, on the weekends, shared a room at my Dad’s. And in a way, it was best of both worlds.
At Mum’s, we had our own stuff secreted away: my diary was locked up safely in my bedside table, while my brother’s elaborate Lego constructions were kept out of my clumsy reach alongside a proud collection of robots. And as a bonus, I got to fully explore the spectrum of pinks with wild abandon in curtains, bedlinen and furniture without having to suffer the grumbles of my more blue-inclined brother.
But I also remember happy night time conversations with my brother at Dad’s. We’d whisper well past ‘lights out time’ hatching plans for future adventures – usually involving the Loch Ness monster or midnight fridge raids.
So you see I’m on both sides of the ‘should they share’ debate when it comes to kids’ rooms.
Why not try it out?
There are plenty of factors that will make the decision for you, primarily, how many rooms you have vs how many kids.
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics in 2011 there were 8.6 million households living in private dwellings in Australia. And of those homes, the average has 3.1 bedrooms per dwelling.
But when it comes to dwellings for couples with dependent and non-dependent children there were, on average, 3.9 bedrooms for approximately 4.7 people.
So taking into account two parents sharing a room, a lot of families are fortunate enough to have access to a ‘spare room’ here in Oz.
But that doesn’t mean there aren’t huge benefits for lumping the kids in together if you can.
Kids sharing a room is a practical parents’ solution. You only have one room to heat or cool, one room to tidy and one room with a nightlight. Plus, once you perfect the art of bedtime routines (please write a book and earn millions if you do), you might only have to read one story for both kids, kiss and then…. ahhhhhh …. enjoy the serenity rather than going through two, or three or GULP four bedtime routines.
And there’s the security kids enjoy with another person near, as well as the sense of responsibility they feel looking after a younger sibling which can also enrich their relationships.
Oh and did we mention the utter luxury - for you that is - of having a playroom or *gasp* a SPARE BEDROOM or even an office?
What about the teen years?
My friend is faced with this exact dilemma. She’s a single mum with three kids: two on-the-cusp-of teens and an 11-year-old. She’s created a charming, cosy home for them all, complete with pets, a kitchen filled with treats and a loving atmosphere. In fact, my kids are always making excuses to go and visit her.
But the problem is she has her three kids are in the same room: two boys and one girl. And it’s actually worked beautifully for them all, but now she’s faced with teenagers. The precious need for personal space has become a ferocious force within the family and one that Isabelle is finding it harder to ignore.
“Up until now, if one of them has had enough of the others, it’s actually been nice because they end up in my room and I love finding one of them curled up in my bed,” she says. “And I know that by sharing a space, they’ve developed into kids that like each other, can easily empathise and spend time together naturally.”
But now she’s looking at relocating the family to a bigger house. “I just have to respect their need for space,” says Isabelle.
And what about my own kids? Do I have them sharing? Well we’ve had to get creative too. We tried having them both in one room, but my son’s erratic nighttimes were impacting my daughter, so we now have a mini-bunk bed in his room and a single in her bedroom and she enjoys a ‘sleepover’ at his every now and then.