It was by the light of the alarm clock that I saw her smirk at me.
My five-month-old and I have an agreement that I will continue to feed her in the middle of the night if she needs it but I won’t change her nappy until morning because a nappy change requires me to get out of bed and if she wants me to survive the following day, I need to pretend like I’m still asleep. When she cries out in the night, I sit up, reach over to the bassinette that sits beside my bed, pull her over for a feed and then back she goes. It’s done in complete darkness and we can all act like it hasn’t happened.
So when I saw that wry smile in the dark, I knew what was coming. The thunder rumbled deep and low, building and roaring until RWAAAWRR, I swear the bed shook.
My little darling had gone back on her word and created such a dire shituation that a nappy change would need to take place.
But I stood my ground and refused to get out of bed. I grabbed the emergency supplies from the bedside table, turned on my phone torch and got to work right there on the quilt.
All was well, the bum was clean, the pyjamas were fresh and the new nappy was ready to go. My pillow was calling.
But, in a final act of defiance, as I lifted that soft little bottom, she looked me straight in the eye and pissed all over my sheets.
And, because the only thing I cared about in life was getting back to sleep, I dressed my baby, grabbed a towel, threw it on the wet patch and we both went straight back to sleep.
Because motherhood teaches you that lying in a pool of urine is a small price to pay for getting more sleep.
This post was written by Lauren Dubois of TheThud for ALDI but all of it is true - especially the bit about the price you’re willing to pay for sleep when you’re a mum.
