We all know what it’s like to be an exhausted new mum. We also know that when times get tough with bub in tow, it’s much easier to cope if you laugh things off rather than curl into a ball and sob.
That’s why a post by ‘loosechange’ on popular motherhood form Mumsnet has struck such a chord:
“Any suggestions?”
It reads:
He won’t stop crying unless he’s being held by me, preferably sleeping on one exposed boob, although at a push I can reclothe.
He is declining tuneless songs and cuddles from his siblings, and putting him down got me into a lot of trouble. Who needs words to shout?!
I can’t find his warranty, and am not sure I could face returning him, collection was bad enough. Any suggestions?
Let the mum LOLs begin!
Mumsnet users didn’t just have some suggestions … they had heaps of them!
One mum quickly responded with, “How long have you had him? Have you found the off switch yet? Mine doesn’t have one but I suspect mine’s an older model. The new ones may have had them installed?”
To which loosechange said, “He’s fairly new. Bollox. I must have picked up an older edition. My nipple is currently wondering what rights it can demand.”
Then the floodgates of hilarity were opened …
The thread soon descended into a funny-making free-for-all, with mums quick to add their two cents about broken children, return policies and sore nipples.
But wait, there’s more …
VagueIdeas wrote: “Mine is just out of warranty and has turned into a demon baby. Why do all appliances break just after the 12 months has elapsed?”
Squizita shared: “Mine had a software update about 11 months. Sorted out the milk and sleep mostly, but it now has some kind of reverse Siri feature and no volume switch.”
And according to BarbarianMum, these ‘faults’ continue beyond babyhood: “The eyeballs have recently come loose in my 2008 model and now roll whenever asked to do anything. Same happened to the 2005 a few years ago. Seems to be a systemic fault.”
OK … I’ll stop now
But honestly - you should go and pop yourself some popcorn, click here to get to the thread, and settle in for a good chuckle.
You’re welcome.
