Live from Margate!

Brexit voters are furious that, despite voting for something they hadn’t thought through, the place is still awash with ‘filthy foreign barstards!’ There were some who found the Brexit ‘Yes/No?’ option a bit complicated but erred on the side of stupidity and voted for something they didn’t understand, according to in-depth research I have just made up. Ralph Hitler of Margate said: ‘I can’t believe it, innit? I got up this morning and there’s still filthy foreign barstards everywhere. There’s one driving a taxi that I’ve used for years, there’s a solicitor called Khan who defended me in court (and not very well I may add, I got a not guilty!), and the geezer in the kebab shop just sells foreign muck!’

Foreign Muck

A lady at the bus stop said: ‘Ever since I voted for Brexit the bus has been late every day and it’s cos of those filthy foreign barstard Polish mig-refugees from Albanialand. Ooh, see, here it is. Bang on time again! Typical.’

‘Jus’ Hangin’ & Doin’ Ma Shit!’

We asked several people on the high street about how they thought the economy was faring. One said: ‘Read my lips: it’s not the economy stupid! It’s about filthy foreign barstards coming over, doing stuff that I’ve read about in the paper!’ Another man said ‘It’s the forrins innit! Not only are they filthy, they’re barstards and probably all foreigners as well.’ 

‘You: Foreign. That: Door. Use it & Fack Off!’ 

We asked one man, David Coppin, how many filthy foreign barstards there were in Margate ‘There’s fucken loadsa filthy foreign barstards in Margate, and I should know, I married one!’ We asked how many filthy foreign barstards there were exactly but he had trouble doing adding.

‘Err 2 and 2 is 5…’ David Coppin: Thick Cunt