"Hi Chuck
Glad to have you back and posting again, your post always make re-think things. I liked your okay Diane I get it comment, cracked me up. I think Diane told the Butterflies to not be scared of me, I have gotten a lot of pictures of…"
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Harold McKinstry
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- Saginaw, MI
- United States
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Harold McKinstry replied to Bill Fair's discussion Lonely and depressed in Maryland... in the group Bereaved Spouses"Bill
Sorry for your loss, my wife passed away 1-29-16. This Sunday would have been our 12th Anniversary It was second marriage for us too, she had been single 10 years Me 8 years. About seven years ago Diane had developed blood clots all through her…"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Me and Diane's Anniversary is coming up the 28th of this month. I have been having a hard time dreading it and being miserable and crying the last week. Yesterday I was deadheading in Diane's Garden, I was by the butterfly bush. I looked…"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Marsha
Diane loved elephants also we have them all over the house she always said an elephant with his trunk up was good luck. She would do craft shows and come home with birdhouses, when I would say don't we have enough she would say you…"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Chuck
The painting of the white roses are beautiful you are quite talented. Thanks for sharing."
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Marsha
I also wanted to send you wishes for your Anniversary, hope it is as well as it can be. That's nice you took time to respond when you are dealing with your Anniversary without Ernie. It shows what a kind soul you are. Those…"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Everyone
It has been a rough couple of days which is to be expected some times. Started with taking flowers from the garden to here grave, then the weird dream, today went to start psychical therapy. She asked if Diane was still my emergency contact…"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Sara I feel the same way it doesn't feel like it has been so long. That dream you had is kind of spooky. When Diane was in the hospital so long I went into shock then. Felt the same way as when she died, it never crossed my mind that she would…"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Gretchen
I had a similar dream a couple of days after Diane passed. I could feel her laying next to me and hugging me I remember saying you can't be here you died. Then I woke. Little bit after that I was having a rough day I kept crying and…"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Chuck
I agree it is comforting to know that we are all going through similar things, not that I'm happy everyone else is suffering just that I'm not going crazy. I'm glad you can get through some of the clothes even though…"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Hi All
Last night I fell asleep watching TV, you know how sometimes you wake up and don't know where you are I looked into Diane's chair and thought where is Diane oh she must have gone to bed then unfortunately I came to my senses and…"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Chuck Sounds like you had a good time, for everyone to notice the change in you. It's nice that everyone was so supportive. I saved a copy of that poem that Steve wrote it makes me think and reflect,"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Steve I also liked that poem brought a tear to my eyes , it also gives you a different way to look at things. Thanks
"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Steve
Thanks for the positive and uplifting post. It's only been six months for me, still struggling with how and where I go on from here. I can't look too far ahead or I get nervous and anxiety sets in. I have a routine I follow, I do get…"
Harold McKinstry commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Gretchen
Thanks for the video he looks like a sweatie. We all need some reason to keep on. "
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Comment Wall (6 comments)
- At 7:58pm on July 27, 2016,
Mary Clough said… - Aww Harold iam so very sorry for your loss, My husband was diagnosed with glioblastoma tumor, it is a very aggressive brain cancer with no cure, some people have live at the most for 5 years, but Bobs grew quickly, within 2 weeks he was paralyzed, 4 weeks he was swollen his who,e body wasn't eating, they feed him threw tubes, 6 weeks his kidneys failed and he went on Dialysis, he started having seizures, 10 weeks to the day of his diagnoses I lost him, I was soo hoping we could fight this and keep him alive for the max of 5 years, but it was not to be, now iam alone and missing him more then I could have ever imagine,I can't see this deep pain and sorrow ever going away, he was my everything. Thankyou mary
- At 5:18pm on July 27, 2016, Mary Clough said…
- Hi Harold, Thankyou for your very kind words, so very sorry for your loss, very over whelming, I was reading some of your comments, my husband was 18 yrs older then me, I had 22 years with him, 23 in sept. He was so very healthy, and this was such a shock. Love mary
- At 9:26am on July 22, 2016,
carol said… Harold, Thank You for your response and welcome to this site. I am
also a flower garden lover, but alas the deer also love my flowers, so far this month they have eaten all hostas, lilys and numerous others.
I hope you are having a good day today. Happy Friday.
- At 6:59pm on June 24, 2016,
Reponsa Bias said… Thanks so much for the warm welcome. I know it's doing to be a long hard row to hoe, but no one can do it for me. It's been two years yet it feels like yesterday. I awake each day praying it was only a dream I know it's not, just wishful thinking. He was real.
- At 6:28pm on March 8, 2016,
Sara Murphy said… I agree. I find it impossible to believe it will ever get better. When people ask that dreaded question "how are you doing", I'll tell some of them I'm in a living hell. I've also told Ken our roles have reversed since his passing, before I had to watch him suffer and now he has to watch me suffer. I'm going to hold on to hope though that eventually, probably some day long in the future, I'll be able to see the light (either light will do)
- At 4:44pm on March 8, 2016, Sara Murphy said…
Harold, I feel as you do with the deep, never ending grief. I'm only 2 weeks ahead of you, my husband passed on 1/13/16. I contacted my doctor last week because I needed something to help. Mornings for me are the worst. I'm so full of anxiety but still have to get up to go to work. With my husband here, I had strength to do anything. However sick he was, I could handle it, take care of him, go to work etc. I got my strength from him. Without him, I panic over everything so afraid of what the future will hold that I'll have to deal with solo. The anti-anxiety meds do help a bit. I can be calmer and focus better at work but it doesn't stop me from crying for him every day, several times a day. I pray we both find piece although I believe we're a long way from that right now.
Hugs
Sara
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