Handling the Holidays, Surviving Special Occasions

Holidays, birthdays and anniversaries are often joyous. But special family occasions can feel bittersweet, lonely or sad when someone you love has died. If you've lost someone close to you, Legacy has experts and other resources to help you cope during holiday seasons and throughout the year.

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Join a discussion and talk with others about surviving special occasions, or browse below for advice from grief and loss experts.

What do you do—or avoid doing—to help you get through the holidays? How do you handle your loved one's birthday or death anniversary? Share your tips in the comments section below.

Holidays

Grief Never Takes a Holiday

Handling the Holidays

Coping with the Holidays after Loss

There Are No Decorating Police

Managing the Holidays

Dealing with the Holiday Blues

Getting Through the Holidays

Take Care of Yourself While Grieving

6 Simple Steps to Grief Relief

Family Reorganization After a Loss

Relatives Can Be Good Resources

Learning to Live Healthily with Loss

So Let Us Celebrate

Give Yourself a Holiday Gift

Making New Traditions

The Changing of Rituals

Lent Lessons

May Faith Guide You

Embrace the Mystery of Grief

Moving Forward, Connected Still

On the Anniversary of the Death

Coping with the Anniversary of a Death

Solace on the Anniversary of Your Mate's Death

A Season of Change and Anniversaries

$13.33 - Remembering Dad on the Anniversary of His Death

Remembering the Anniversary of a Death

Acknowledging Anniversaries

Legacy Letters: Moving on with life & love

How to Help

Remembering the Anniversary of a Death

Acknowledging Anniversaries

Grieving Loss During the Holidays

No Holiday from Grief

Reaching Out on Father's Day

Speaking of the Deceased

'Tell Me a Story'

Making a Difference in Times of Loss

Simple Gestures

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Comment by Drianiel Farris on December 23, 2011 at 7:47pm

I just lost another close family member, my only sister, Nov 18, 2011. I'm starting to think Nov is not my time of the year! I have lost my 2 brothers, my husband and now my sister in the month of Nov. Each death was also sudden. I have no other living family that is older then myself, except one 1st. cousin and she is the oldest living family member, I'm the next and I'm only 61yrs. old. Thanksgiving and Christmas has never been the same since my little brother died, Nov 22, 1974. Nine years and one day from being the exact day, Nov 23, 1983, my older brother died. My husband died Nov 12, 1991 and now my last and only sibling.

Comment by Irma G. Gutierrez on December 21, 2011 at 3:02pm

It's been a month now, since I lose my Big Brother, one of 5 brothers and 5 sisters. 'm the oldest. We buried our parents and for that We, were blessed that the folks did not buried one of their children. I'm the oldest and the lost of oldest of the boys has hit me hard. The pain and void in my heart feels the absents in my soul. He & I were head of the family, we could only try to fix the disgreedments amoung members of the our family. We, always seem to know how to agreed with one another-He was the DON of our family and I was his Big Sis, who he could always count on for anything. He knew as I did that I would  be there by his side with notice or summons. His, wife and children always came 1st but never second did he put his brothers and sisters. He was our Rock and I so miss him-and selfishly wish he could have hang on a little longer, but his pain and suffering no-longer could hang on and he left us. To a better place it is told...that's the misery of death and how to understand the pain of his lose.  Thanksgiving Holidays will never be the same another more, because of his passing. I pray to understand and accept the he is in a better place then here on earth with all of his love ones.

Comment by Suzanne Rosenorn on December 12, 2011 at 9:35pm

It has been said that you should talk to the dead because they can hear you. Photos have been taken  that show the deceased are around or even touching you. Do not care what others think.

Comment by Hillary on November 17, 2011 at 11:39pm

I don't know what I am going to do for the holidays this year. This will be my first year without my brother for Christmas and thanksgiving and my birthday...and I dont want to celebrate any of them...I am so afraid. I am so afraid that I am not going to make it...The only fear I have is that I might not make it to heaven.

Comment by Rosa on January 8, 2011 at 9:40am

This past November near Thanksgiving it was a year that dearest nephew Ismael flew in a cloud to

to heaven to be near our savior Jesus whom he loved very much. He was like a son to me even there was no blood related to me. I saw him growing to be a handsome, smart jouyful young man in a spite of his bitterness growing up without a mother's care. I miss him so much but I know he's in a very loving hands; our Lord!

Comment by Sarah Garwood on December 29, 2010 at 9:36am
I lost my son on November 4 this year. He was only 2 and a half. He lived a tough life already. Went through 11 surgeries, was born at 25 weeks. He weighed only 2 pounds. Every morning I woke up I was greatful that he made it another day. He spent a majority of his 2 and a half years connected to feeding tubes and other various machines. I had a rough time this Christmas, I made it through the holiday only in hopes that it will go by fast. I have a 7 month old daughter to keep a smile on my face along with 3 nieces and 1 nephew to help me cope through this time. My family all got together to buy food and presents for a few needy families in our area and we did it under my sons name. This helped me get through the days a little better. I'm just happy that my little Angel doesn't have to suffer and fight anymore. I love you Zane Michael!!!
Comment by Sarah Garwood on December 29, 2010 at 9:36am
I lost my son on November 4 this year. He was only 2 and a half. He lived a tough life already. Went through 11 surgeries, was born at 25 weeks. He weighed only 2 pounds. Every morning I woke up I was greatful that he made it another day. He spent a majority of his 2 and a half years connected to feeding tubes and other various machines. I had a rough time this Christmas, I made it through the holiday only in hopes that it will go by fast. I have a 7 month old daughter to keep a smile on my face along with 3 nieces and 1 nephew to help me cope through this time. My family all got together to buy food and presents for a few needy families in our area and we did it under my sons name. This helped me get through the days a little better. I'm just happy that my little Angel doesn't have to suffer and fight anymore. I love you Zane Michael!!!
Comment by Susan Casadei on December 20, 2010 at 8:47pm

I lost my son Jon in 2003 at the age of 20.  I have gone through all of the emotions connected with losing a child.  My comfort comes from not letting Jon's death destroy me or my family.  I want his life and death to leave a positive effect on this earth.  I began doing simple things like saying a kind word to someone.  For each unexpected positive thing I did, I told myself I was doing it for Jon.  In turn I received the gift of hearing a kind "thank you" and seeing a beautiful smile.  I don't know why I had to lose my child and why my son's life was cut short.  But I do believe that his spirit lives on. For with this belief I strive to live honoring the child who will forever be part of me.  I also have a website where parents can share stories of how they have felt a connection with the child they lost.  www.thechildwelost.com  at google.

Comment by penny mcmillan on December 15, 2010 at 12:25pm

I lost my dad August 1st and now my husbands grandma the 10th of December.  Grandma had been in a nursing facility for six years and was one month shy of being 100 and my father was 80.  My sister and I found our dad in his bed at home with his little dog sitting on his hand. Oh talk about heartwrenching. We always had holiday gatherings at my house and it seems like he should be walking in the door any minute. I had just seen my father on Friday and hugged him and told him I loved him not knowing that would be my last hug and kiss. I talked to him on Saturday and then Sunday morning we found him. It kills me that he was all alone unlike my grandma who had family around and her son was holding her hand.  I wonder when the pain will get better. My children grew up next door to grandma and grandpa so they were so blessed to have the experience of that. Her name for her was "Grandma next door" and she loved it.  My faith has gotten me through alot even this double whammy but it is so hard to not fall apart sometimes.

Comment by penny mcmillan on December 15, 2010 at 12:25pm

I lost my dad August 1st and now my husbands grandma the 10th of December.  Grandma had been in a nursing facility for six years and was one month shy of being 100 and my father was 80.  My sister and I found our dad in his bed at home with his little dog sitting on his hand. Oh talk about heartwrenching. We always had holiday gatherings at my house and it seems like he should be walking in the door any minute. I had just seen my father on Friday and hugged him and told him I loved him not knowing that would be my last hug and kiss. I talked to him on Saturday and then Sunday morning we found him. It kills me that he was all alone unlike my grandma who had family around and her son was holding her hand.  I wonder when the pain will get better. My children grew up next door to grandma and grandpa so they were so blessed to have the experience of that. Her name for her was "Grandma next door" and she loved it.  My faith has gotten me through alot even this double whammy but it is so hard to not fall apart sometimes.

Comment by Robyn on December 8, 2010 at 2:53am
Its been a tough year for my family,We lost my brother back in May on Mothers day,Then my Mother past away Nov 29,2010.Her brithday is this month and with x-mas also coming up its going to be a sad month for me and my family.I well miss my Mom so dearly she was my best friend,my joy,my laughter,my life.
Comment by Tricia on December 6, 2010 at 8:32pm
Whoever said it gets easier with time.. lied... or was cold hearted.. mom... has beeen gone since jan 3 this year and even though i know how sick she was with cancer.. i thought it would help but all along i been lying to myself.... as tears poor down my face and i cant seem to catch my breath at times... i love you mommy... nothing really matters.. now that your gone.. im sorry to everyone who has to come to this site and is hurting.. i hope you know u are not alone.. <3 tricia
Comment by Lynda L. Sheldon on December 3, 2010 at 10:32pm
We lost our Mother, our : Momma Bear" our "mamom" just 4 months ago, and the holidays this year seem so bleak. Mom is now our angel and forever will be.
Comment by Gaynell Leath on October 21, 2010 at 2:21am
I blew a kiss to heaven yesterday.I was dancing with an angel.Happy 26th Birthday.My Beautiful Son:Jason Wiley Slayton Leath~~10-19-1084~to~9-13-2004.In the Arms of Angels
Forever and Always your mom,
~~~~~~~Gaynell Leath~~~~~~~
She Talks To Angels And Dances Too
Comment by Gaynell Leath on October 21, 2010 at 2:21am
I blew a kiss to heaven yesterday.I was dancing with an angel.Happy 26th Birthday.My Beautiful Son:Jason Wiley Slayton Leath~~10-19-1084~to~9-13-2004.In the Arms of Angels
Forever and Always your mom,
~~~~~~~Gaynell Leath~~~~~~~
She Talks To Angels And Dances Too

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