Just now, I was thinking how difficult it will be to be the site admins[1]. We’ve had such a crop of terrible covers, and it isn’t even halfway through October. I imagine it will be rather hard picking which covers to cite come the end of the year summing-up.
[1] That’s not to say that it isn’t easy being the admins right now, what with having to look at so many wretched covers, keep the server up and running, feed the Space Sheep and go walkies, etc.
@DSWBT – True that there are so many fun terrible covers being submitted from photos in the used book stores. But I visited a new book emporium recently and the trend in modern sci-fi covers is terribly boring. Here is a random sampling of the best-selling sci-fi paperback market:
Even Baen Books new releases are losing their GSS worthiness.
@TW: I beg to differ! Left to right, top to bottom:
‘Unbreakable’…which is why they had to turn the typefaces to the side, to fit.
Is that the Sp∆der’s War, or the Sp∆∆∆der’s War? So many questions, so few letters.
In the Autumn Republic, votes are determined by Capture the Flag games…so, not much of a republic, really.
The Dinosaur Lords, ruling their land with the power of dino-belching.
Those Above…the waterline are barely legible, those below not at all.
Rudolph the Red Engined Spacecraft
Had a ruddy fuel cell
And if you ever saw it,
You would swear it glowed like Hell
All of the other Spacecraft
Ran in fear of its bright flames
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any Nemesis games!
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
James Corey came to say
‘Rudolph’s engine sets him apart,
Won’t you star on the cover art?’
Then how the spacecraft loved him
As they shouted out in rhymes,
‘Rudolph’s sales won’t ever fail
And impress the New York Times!’
Kyle deeply regretted looking up when the silver eagles were clashing overhead.
‘I didn’t stab him. No, really. And that font doesn’t look atrocious at all!’
Primary colours always bring a cover together. That, and flatulence. Lots and lots of flatulence.
—
Anyone else? Chime right in. 😉
August 16th, 2016 at 2:17 pm
“Freedom Rides the Savage Plateau!” is her lower back tattoo.
August 16th, 2016 at 2:36 pm
A good scissors would snip all those annoying tags right off.
August 16th, 2016 at 2:55 pm
Savage Plateau the Horse: *sigh* ‘Is she doing that thing again?’
@B’mancer, I believe it’s called a ‘tramp stamp’ in the parlance.
August 16th, 2016 at 3:09 pm
Er, Ms. Freedom, the PETA people called. They have some questions about that saddle.
August 16th, 2016 at 3:13 pm
Savage Plateau the Horse: Hey, Freedom, watch that sword, will ya? Can’t you just use ordinary spurs?
August 16th, 2016 at 3:27 pm
Wot no Meningitis tag ? that neck of hers has gotta be hurting by now !
August 16th, 2016 at 3:53 pm
If it wasn’t for those flowing tags, you would never know she was in motion.
August 16th, 2016 at 4:14 pm
It has a suitably (and massively 80s) soundtrack and moving pictures https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtPj_iWln0s
This cover is what Toyah thought she looked like doing that video.
August 16th, 2016 at 4:20 pm
I just can’t bring myself to copy the the description and reviews from GoodReads.
August 16th, 2016 at 4:29 pm
This cover should be air-brush painted on the side of a van.
@DSWBT – After reading that plot description, I think a better book title would have been
The Windsteeddownriverwindrider
August 16th, 2016 at 4:37 pm
More cowbell…no…claws. More claws.
August 16th, 2016 at 5:34 pm
She looks likely to die of hypothermia, since she clearly neglected to wear her coat. Or her pants, for that matter.
@misterbob: I think you mean “whiplash”, as opposed to meningitis.
August 16th, 2016 at 7:54 pm
Modernising the Olympics dressage was a bad idea…
August 17th, 2016 at 7:17 am
“Hey lady! How about using stirrups??”
“Ha! I scorn your decadent saddles, for I ride freeeeAAAA!!” *CRASH*
August 17th, 2016 at 2:58 pm
@Dead Stuff. I see the heroine’s name is “Oa”. Could this derive from the sounds made by the author’s friends when she described the plot to them?
“Oh. Ah.”
August 17th, 2016 at 5:38 pm
@RachelJ: I assumed she was named after the sound you make when you’re trying to get on a horse, but the saddle has no stirrups.
‘Oh-AAH!’
August 18th, 2016 at 3:44 am
I followed DSWBT’s link.
Sometimes you feel sorry for the author. Sometimes the cover and the book deserve one another. And sometimes. . .
August 18th, 2016 at 11:08 am
So in Fantasyland, this is what dressage competitions are like?
August 20th, 2016 at 5:05 pm
SuperCuts must have been having a special: “Buy one haircut, get the same one for your horse at half price!”
September 17th, 2016 at 11:25 am
At length, she moved to Appalachia and started dressing much more modestly and replaced her horse with a mule.
October 8th, 2016 at 3:36 pm
Just now, I was thinking how difficult it will be to be the site admins[1]. We’ve had such a crop of terrible covers, and it isn’t even halfway through October. I imagine it will be rather hard picking which covers to cite come the end of the year summing-up.
[1] That’s not to say that it isn’t easy being the admins right now, what with having to look at so many wretched covers, keep the server up and running, feed the Space Sheep and go walkies, etc.
October 12th, 2016 at 2:35 pm
“Away from Empire, Freedom is superglued to the saddle!”
October 12th, 2016 at 3:55 pm
@DSWBT – True that there are so many fun terrible covers being submitted from photos in the used book stores. But I visited a new book emporium recently and the trend in modern sci-fi covers is terribly boring. Here is a random sampling of the best-selling sci-fi paperback market:
Even Baen Books new releases are losing their GSS worthiness.
October 12th, 2016 at 5:50 pm
@TW: I beg to differ! Left to right, top to bottom:
‘Unbreakable’…which is why they had to turn the typefaces to the side, to fit.
Is that the Sp∆der’s War, or the Sp∆∆∆der’s War? So many questions, so few letters.
In the Autumn Republic, votes are determined by Capture the Flag games…so, not much of a republic, really.
The Dinosaur Lords, ruling their land with the power of dino-belching.
Those Above…the waterline are barely legible, those below not at all.
Rudolph the Red Engined Spacecraft
Had a ruddy fuel cell
And if you ever saw it,
You would swear it glowed like Hell
All of the other Spacecraft
Ran in fear of its bright flames
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any Nemesis games!
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
James Corey came to say
‘Rudolph’s engine sets him apart,
Won’t you star on the cover art?’
Then how the spacecraft loved him
As they shouted out in rhymes,
‘Rudolph’s sales won’t ever fail
And impress the New York Times!’
Kyle deeply regretted looking up when the silver eagles were clashing overhead.
‘I didn’t stab him. No, really. And that font doesn’t look atrocious at all!’
Primary colours always bring a cover together. That, and flatulence. Lots and lots of flatulence.
—
Anyone else? Chime right in. 😉
October 12th, 2016 at 10:02 pm
Er, sorry, forgot to close a tag.
October 12th, 2016 at 10:57 pm
@DSWBT – You realize, of course, when that link points to next month’s new releases your comments will make even less sense!
BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!
October 13th, 2016 at 1:16 am
@TW: Ah, but does anyone actually read anything I write? 😛
October 13th, 2016 at 5:21 am
@DSWBT—er, I do. Does that make me a loser?
October 13th, 2016 at 2:51 pm
@BC: You make me blush! Thanks. 😉