DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 11 - UNLEASHED... UPON DADKIND (WITH SHANE BAKER)

In October's delightful and extra MEATY episode, the Dads are joined by fellow father and rock vocalist Shane Baker (Alaric, Eerie, Pins of Light, Dead And Gone) for a lengthy and informative discussion about Bolt Thrower, dolmas, television, dumb kids, and the Billy Joel hit "We Didn't Start The Fire". But there's so much more!

Also discussed herein: The Strip Club At The Edge of Town, Not Exactly Fucking, Van Hayward, Matt Shapiro's Dick, Family Nudity, "Conceptually Awesome" Bands, Taliban vs Mall Cop, Transmissions From Planet Parmesan, Turkey Tetrazzini, Ambrosia Salad, Cool-Ass Space Orcs, Greek Sushi, 14 Years In 14 Minutes, Hitler And Aliens, Roger The Piano Man, The Ominous Scent of Ben Gay And Metamucil, Gallagher AD, The George Costanza of Death Metal Dads, Jews on TV, Who Would Win?, Danish Vocalist Florandia Suppenhausen, Long-Box CDs, Color Me Dadd, Cassingle Listenin', Another Bad Malevolent Kreayshawn, A Live Commentary On A Live Commentary, "Local" Bands, List Rock vs Indian Rock, Karl Sanders Checking His AOL Account Onstage, Dollar Store Cannibal Corpse, French Poetry And Rim Jobs, That Dog Is Sick of Peanut Butter!, Getting Advice From Pizza Boxes And Snapple Caps, Hashtag Hashbrowns, Imps of the Perverse: The Tell-Tale Subway Sandwich, Doctor Who Cares?, Cumming In Public: Morality vs Law, Ghost Dad 2: Son of Ghost Dad, Cowboy vs RoboCop vs Bag of Tube socks, The DMD Bump, Fatherly Advice, and A Complete Lack of Dad Sex. It's a real barn-burner, this one. So kick back, relax, and don't worry about catching that bus. There's always another one.

Music:

Bolt Thrower, "Unleashed... Upon Mankind"

Alaric, "Demon"

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Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

Editor's note: The cigarrette guy from Star Wars' name is Elan Sleazebaggano. No, seriously.

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 67 - WOULD YOU COULD YOU ON A PODCAST?

Topics Include: Weird Warnings / I Am Truthor / You Can’t Handle The Proof / The Girlfriend Represents My Mind / Bohemian Grove Votes Third Party / Meme Magick Of The Alt Right / Baal’s Back / The Program Is Self-Correcting / Question The Reality Of Questioning Reality / Black Slime Creeping Over DC


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DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 10 - DAD-SCANTING THE IN-SON-LUBRIOUS (with JASON WALTON)

In today's raunchy and scandalous episode, Jason Walton (Agalloch, Especially Likely Sloth, Celestial, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Self-Spiller, etc) divulges sordid details about Aesop's past, gets candid about raising weird daughters, and slings insults at Shelby as if they'd met before or something. It's fucked up!


If you like to relax during entertainment, spoilers for you as follows: The O.F.P., Jeff Walker's Cowboy Hat, Professor Harry And The DMD Signature Fuckstyle, How To Build A Wooden Toilet, Deeply Moved By The Events of 9/11, Of Mirrors And Distressed Manatees, Fog Machines And The Resulting Digestional Tract Issues (Can You Sign This?), All Aboard America (Another Train Gang Bang), Making Out With One-Armed Mary, Happy Birthday Calvyn (Here's Your Invoice!), "Goodbye You Old Stinky Asshole!", How Hickey Killed Tupac, Buckets, Tarps, and Bodily Fluids, Glen Benton: DMD Arch-Nemesis, Bill Steer's Guide To Gentle Lovemaking, Weird Old Grind Dudes, The Thing About The Rest Stop, What The Fuck Is That Guy Running From?, What Aesop Does Like A Sailor, #SceneBeef,  Confusion About Corys, Pitching vs Catching in the Heavy Metal Gay World, Canadian Angel Dust, Feeding The Baby feat. Mystifier, Idyllic Punk Bass Player Parenting, Gross Coffee Noises feat. A Gross Burp, Roommates Showing Up Early, Slovenian Bullshit, False Leg Cramps, Involuntary Abstinence, Fake Ejaculate Mustard, Killing Your Sex Partner feat. A Sick Eyepatch, Siqq Salt Lake City Shows, What's Your Point?, and Swiss Racial Tension! All this plus The DMD Bump, Fatherly Advice, Dad Sex, Listener Emails, Hotel Keys, High Life, and Laffs Galore! Tune in numbnuts, you're gonna die soon!

Music:

Carcass, "Lavaging Expectorate Of Lysergide Composition"
Jeff Walker Und Die Fluffers, "End of The World"


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email us for bad sex advice: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 66 - ALIEN RESOURCES

Join your hosts Drunk Al and Drunk Erik on a podcast journey that ranges from sports superstitions to psychedelics to the extraterrestrial origins of chess to to the ESL conspiracy metal of Carlos Spartacus. Disclaimer: we are actually drunk and express some strong sports opinions.


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DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 9 - CONSIDERED DAD (with VIVEK VANKATESH)

In the first of two enlightening episodes for the month of September, an Aesop-less Shelby is joined on the sunny patio of a Montreal AirBnB by college professor, metalhead, father of two, and creator of Grimposium Vivek Vankatesh. Also featuring surprise cameos by Dan Butler (Vastum, Acephalix), Pranjal Tiwari (Cardinal Wyrm), and British Dave (Football Madness), this discussion goes deep on academia, philosophy, fatherhood, and the mystical origins and culture of extreme music.

Valid and pertinent pontifications as follows: The Mutual Washing of Balls and Resulting Scrotal Cleanliness, How Did You Do That?, Incessant Beeping and The Passing of Fire Trucks, Maya Vs. Mastadon, Stoked Mallcore Kids, Partying With Sebastian Bach, Free Massages In The Artist Village, A Casual Plate of Food, Heavy Times at Katacombes Montreal, Uroboric Musings on Academia and The Mind/Body Horror Binary, Screaming In Your Daughter's Ear, A Complete Lack of Usual Segments, Luc LeMay and The Hidden History of The Human Race, Gettin' Pleiades Dusted Off Some "Colored Sands", Inquisition's Border-Crossing Issues and How They Benefitted Vastum, A Checkered Past, An Apartment Full of Drowsy Metalheads, Particularly Evocative Emotions, Don't Worry: Dan's Not Drunk, Strangling People With A Mic Cable, Cardinal Wyrm Chanting To The Empty Heavens, Neckbeard Technocracy, "Fucked With A Knife" As An Antidote To Dread and Depression, More Beeping, A Visit From The Landlord, Chatty Neighbors, and Lots of Weird Dude Energy. THIS 1 IS FOR SMART PPL ONLY! IF YOU ARE A FALSE DO NOT ENTRY!

Music:

Gorguts, "Considered Dead"

Vastum, "Amniosis"

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Write us: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

Check out Vivek's endeavors at Grimposium.com.

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 65 - WE SOLVED IT

Charles and I dissect the finer points of the global struggle for control of alien technology, occult Masonic influence on trade routes and colonial America, and how UFOs destroyed the SpaceX rocket. What more could you possibly want??


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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 64 - TEMPLARS, LIZARDS, AND BEES

In this episode, we discuss the Masonic, occult, and/or reptilian angles of Chicago architecture, Usain Bolt, mental competency to stand trial, Hillary vs. conspiracy culture, woke ass comments on MRA videos, first-hand accounts of Alex Jones being weird, Time Travelin’ Trump, and Nikola Tesla’s views on feminism. This episode connects literally everything, so if you like episodes that connect literally everything, u mo b there!


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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 63 - INFINITE BLISS AND OTHER BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

This episode is about one thing only: Transcendental Meditation. We dive deep into the ocean of pure consciousness and see what kinds of fish are swimming around down there. Put on your scuba gear and let’s roll.


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DEATH METAL DADS - EPISODE 8: DEATH METAL LADS

The Dads have given up. It’s over. In the laziest, most apathetic podcasting maneuver since the dawn of time, Shelby and Aesop hand the mics over to their kids–-Calvyn (age 18) and Ezra (age 15) to do the show for them. Is it the best Death Metal Dads ever? The worst? THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!

Music:

Nitro, “Freight Train”

Foreigner, “Juke Box Hero”

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DAD SEX: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 62 - A REPTILE DYSFUNCTION

It's a solo show! Allow me to ramble to you about our adventures in Las Vegas, the London Bridge in Lake Havasu, and fake Garths. Memes are also described.


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