Domestic violence

Belgium finds taking on forced marriage and domestic violence

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• published: 16 Oct 2016
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Claim your etoro welcome Bonus worth up to $1,000 http://partners.etoro.com/B7967_A59060_TClick.aspx Chimène, from Togo, and Rokia, from Guinea, met in a Belgian refugee centre. They fled their countries to escape forced marriages. Obtaining asylum in Europe, they say, is a matter of life or death. Rokia did not yet know that her request would come through only a few days later. “When my dad died, I was married to a friend of his” she explains. “Because the man is a diamond dealer, he has lots of money, they sold me to him. I was the man’s third wife. I underwent FGM a first time when I was a child. And a second time when I was twelve. He wanted me to go through this a third time, I said no! Because I know the harmful effects of FGM. The man beat me up, he tortured me, even to make love with him, because I did not want him! He kept beating me. In my country, my life is in danger, because I disobeyed the family.” Chimène’s story is also dismaying. Her boyfriend helped her escape from Togo before her family could force her to marry another man, twice her age. But harm was also done. “I have a son, who’s 2 years and 3 months old; it would be difficult for me to go back home because his dad there wants to take him, and I don’t want that to happen. His life will be at risk if he goes back to our country,” she says.” And she adds, unflinching: “The father’s the man who wanted to marry me after he raped me”. By speaking to us openly, Chimène and Rokia are taking a big risk. But they want to testify to end the practice of which they were victims. They were members of the cast in a play, shown that day in the city of Liege, at a seminar on the issue of forced marriages. But it is difficult to stem the phenomenon, says the coordinator of the Liège platform on forced marriages and honor-related violence. “I have very very few victims who will file a complaint, or expect anything from the law.” she points out. “There are virtually no figures for forced marriages and honor-related violence because people don’t file complaints. They are afraid to hurt their families, they are afraid of having their parents sent to prison, to be responsible for the financial collapse of their families, to see their brother or sister put in foster care,” says Leila Slimani. It was under family pressure that Amina agreed to a marriage arranged by the Imam of her Brussel’s neighbourhood’s mosque, with a total stranger, who was then living in Morocco. As a Belgian citizen, Amina was his passport to Europe. That was 20 years ago. She was able to divorce after years of proceedings, but the wound is not healed “It follows you a very long time. It did not stop because he left. The man contracted debts. Also, his name was on the house, and I continued to pay this credit. I finally ended up with a lot of problems.” she says. “Were you able to rebuild your life?” asks our reporter Valérie Gauriat. “No. To be honest, I never married again, that’s clear. I believe a marriage is a marriage. Even if there are people who get married two or three times, it’s not the same anymore”, she whispers, in tears. Halina Benmrah hears of stories like this every day. She heads an association for victims of forced unions or marriages of convenience; too often, they do not know where to turn she says. “Unfortunately, for most people who call, I would say it is too late, the marriage has already taken place. On paper, there are many things available. But in practice, there is nothing for the victims, nothing, at all, I’m sorry. Nothing. And sometimes, I can also say, the person is not even aware, does not even know where to get information,” says Halina.