Grand Final pre-game entertainment – the poisoned chalice for any singer or band. Or at least, it can be.
This year, as the Western Bulldogs prepared to play the Sydney Swans at a sun-dappled MCG, no-one died on stage.
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No Meatloaf SOS required after Sting performance
Sting receives positive reviews following his AFL Grand Final performance, with fans grateful the Meatloaf debacle of 2011 was not repeated.
Not like that time in 2011 when a corpulent, sweaty, incoherent Meatloaf slaughtered a 12-minute medley of his hits – for a reported fee of $500,000.
Mike Brady, of Up There Cazaly fame, kicked things off, perfunctory and to-the- point, as various returning legends of footy and emerging stars of other sports were driven around the filling 'G' on the back of white utes.
"One day in October," he sang, in a nod to this year's Grand Final date, "footy's almost over."
What does Mike Brady do for the other 364 days of the year? #AFLGF
— Jill Stark (@jillastark) October 1, 2016
Then – Vance Joy. Two songs with band plus his hit Riptide. Nothing went wrong. Young Vance was born in 1987, the year of the infamous Daryl Somers pre-game singalong in white suit and purple shirt.
The Living End, one of Melbourne's most popular and successful rock bands, also escaped indignity, in fact they garnered a huge round of applause after rocking through Prisoner of Society. The drummer wore a vintage Bulldogs' sleeveless guernsey, which went down well. Singer Chris Cheney payed tribute to Melbourne as the home of footy and the home of rock 'n' roll.
And then the main attraction, Sting, who used to be in a little band called The Police some years ago. 'Gidday Australia,' he said, dressed in black, his billionaire rock star tan radiating through the by now almost-full stadium.
To his great credit Sting and his band did Message In A Bottle, that alone better than last year's material by Ellie Goulding, Bryan Adams and Chris Isaak.
On a scale of Meatloaf to Lionel Richie, I give Sting a Bryan Adams. #AFLGF
— Laurence (@LaurenceRosen) October 1, 2016
Sting did well enough that in years to come we'll never remember he did that. #AFLGF
— Titus O'Reily (@TitusOReily) October 1, 2016
He closed with Every Breath You Take, as the roadies and technicians scurried to clear the ground of the stage cluttering up the centre-square.
"My poor heart aches," his famous song says, in what might have been a dedication to the nervous Bulldogs' hometown fans packed into the MCG waiting for the first bounce.
This pre #AFLGF is the soundtrack to my life. Sting - childhood. The Living End - High School. Vance Joy - Now. I could cry #allthefeels
— Candice Wyatt (@CandiceWyatt10) October 1, 2016