![Rathlin has a total population of about 150.](/web/20160926031825im_/http://www.traveller.com.au/content/dam/images/g/r/k/z/w/o/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.grkx4r.png/1474609041397.jpg)
Bert, of Bert's Puffin Tours, is waiting to greet us when we arrive by zodiac from our cruise ship on boomerang-shaped Rathlin, the only inhabited offshore island of Northern Ireland. (And it's only 25 kilometres from the Mull of Kintyre, the southernmost point of Scotland's west coast).
Bert is a character. And a stickler for punctuality.
As he informs us (in loud tones usually associated with the late Ian Paisley), we're late arriving and he missed breakfast. Possibly a first, given the number of times he refers to it and his girth.
![Giant's Causeway, County Antrim.](/web/20160926031825im_/http://www.traveller.com.au/content/dam/images/g/r/l/0/2/t/image.related.articleLeadwide.520x294.grkx4r.png/1474609041397.jpg)
Now, begrudgingly, Bert is driving us to our first destination (there are only five roads on Rathlin – its total population about 150, spread over a tiny island just six kilometres wide by four kilometres long).
So why are we here? A good question as Bert makes a meal of a track he could do blindfolded (even without breakfast) to deposit us at Rathlin West Lighthouse.
It's one of 12 on the disunited island of Ireland that (despite politics) have always been administered by the one body, devoted to the safety of seafarers.
![Sea stack with Common Murres Rathlin Island and nesting gulls.](/web/20160926031825im_/http://www.traveller.com.au/content/dam/images/g/r/k/z/x/0/image.related.articleLeadwide.520x294.grkx4r.png/1474609041397.jpg)
But Rathlin West (there's a Rathlin East, of course) is different to any other lighthouse I've seen.
Firstly, it's the world's only upside-down lighthouse (if you know better, please let me know). Sea fog regularly clouds the sea cliff on which it stands, yet multiple shipwrecks demanded a lighthouse on that point.
The ingenious answer (opened in 1917) was to tunnel down into the cliff, so the light could be seen below the fog and across the horizon. It's an evocative place to visit, as you climb stairs down to the light, past the keeper's bedroom and office to the light itself.
And secondly: what is that raucous noise I hear at this remote posting?
Rathlin West is home to one of the largest seabird colonies in Europe. From the top deck of the upside-down lighthouse we can see a gargantuan gathering of gulls. Each year, thousands of guillemots, razorbills, kittiwakes and fulmars nest here. The sky is alive with them, their shrill shrieks even louder than the crashing waves. I even see a puffin, admittedly through a telescope.
However Bert's breakfast beckons. So back at Church Point, we now spend a pleasant hour walking around the island's only village.
Did I mention that Rathlin is where Robert The Bruce – Scotland's Robert I – sheltered in a cave while temporarily defeated by Edmund I of England? The cave is still here, though the thwarted spider who inspired him to take up arms again is long gone.
Walk concluded, we're headed to the Northern Ireland mainland.
Our first visit is to Dunluce Castle, now a romantic ruin but built by the ambitious MacQuillan clan on the Antrim coast in about 1513.
Dunluce is an appetising hors d'oeuvres. But we've come all this way for the main course: the Giant's Causeway, just a couple of headlands further north.
Five kilometres north of the Old Bushmills Distillery, the Giant's Causeway has been a tourist attraction since 1693. For the past 30 years (2016) it has been a UNESCO World Heritage site.
Let's take the legendary version of its creation first.
The story (according to the excellent audio guide) is that the Irish giant Finn MacCool was challenged by the Scottish giant, Benandonner, to a fight.
Finn (so cool) builds a causeway of granite steps towards Fingal's Cave on the Scottish isle of Staffa (inspiration for Felix Mendelssohn's unforgettable Hebrides overture, written in 1829).
But Finn isn't a total fool. When he realises how much larger the Scottish giant marching towards him is, he reluctantly consults his wife.
She tells him to dress in baby clothes and suck on a giant bottle.
Yes, it's humiliating. But sure enough, when Benandonner arrives across the causeway, he takes one look at the "bairn" and decides that, if this is a newborn, it might be prudent to escape, wrecking the rest of the causeway behind him as he flees.
Walk over those 40,000 basalt columns and imagine the Scottish giant in retreat ...
Sadly, there's another, more scientific explanation.
Some 50 million years ago, Antrim was victim of intense volcanic activity, with fluid molten basalt forming a vast lava plateau. Horizontal contraction, as the lava cooled, left hexagonal pillars that not only pepper the shoreline but provide the other remarkable structures that adorn the cliff face.
Whichever version you choose, the Devil's Causeway is a never-forgotten visit. Even the visitor's centre, buried into the landscape so as not to intrude on the experience, is worth 30 minutes of your life.
If you have time (and you surely will) continue your walk after the Causeway itself and scramble the 30-minute loop, up the escarpment and back to the visitor's centre.
Before the guides, before the Causeway's celebrity, this was the route impoverished Irishwomen would carry their sodden loads of kelp.
Not all survived the climb. Benandonner was nowhere to be seen.
TRIP NOTES
MORE INFORMATION
GETTING THERE
Manx Ferries runs regular ferries to Douglas and Larne from Heysham, Liverpool, Belfast, Dublin and Birkenhead (see manxferries.com).
Five airlines (Aer Lingus, British Airways, Citywing, easyJet and Flybe) serve Ronaldsway Airport from various British and Irish cities (see manxflights.com/airlines/).
TRAVELLING THERE
Captain's Choice 17-day Bespoke British Isles tour visits the Isle of Man aboard the MS Hebridean Sky, as well as London, Portsmouth, Kirkwall, Edinburgh and the Outer Hebrides. From $22,270 a person, twin share, it departs Australia on June 4, 2017. Call 1300 176 681 or see captainschoice.com.au
Silver Explorer has a similar cruise, which does not visit the Isle of Man. Call 1300 306 872 or see silversea.com
Steve Meacham travelled as guest of Captain's Choice.
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