The respectful and sober discussion about same sex marriage in Australia has continued its sensible, fact-based progress via beloved public intellectual and One Nation leader Pauline Hanson.
She took the airwaves on Melbourne's LGBTIQ station Joy FM to explain to listeners that Australians who really want gay marriage – or, to put it another way, an estimated 60-70 per cent of the country – should leave Australia if they're so worried about it. Bless.
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Pauline Hanson - 20 years on
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"If you feel so strongly about it, I'm sure you can move to that country [that recognises same-sex marriage] and then you can have that marriage," she explained, adding "The gays and lesbians are now wanting to change my way of thinking, who I am," adroitly articulating her perfectly sensible fears around the sinister psychic powers possessed by all non-straight people, and Jedi.
What was Hanson's knock-down argument about why she supports denying equal civil rights to all Australians? "I come from a time when there was no discussion about gay marriage. That's my background, that's what I've grown up with. You want to take something away from the majority of society that we've grown up with. Why do you want to take the word 'marriage'?"
![One Nation leader Pauline Hanson.](/web/20160926160827im_/http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/images/g/r/g/q/8/q/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.grocj0.png/1474857245637.jpg)
And while it might be fun to explore her notion that language is somehow legal property based on generational acquisition, here's a better question: to which country is Pauline Hanson planning to emigrate when Australia ratifies same-sex marriage?
After all, as she made clear, if one feels strongly about marriage equality, one should move to a country that aligns with one's views. And clearly she feels very strongly about it indeed – why, will no-one think of the definitions? – and also acknowledges that emigrating to another country is a simple process that's open to anyone and certainly has no legal or practical difficulties connected with it.
Now, it should be added that the plebiscite is looking increasingly shaky since it relies on Labor passing the legislation for it despite all indications being that they will not do so without a raft of significant changes which are unlikely to be supported by the right wing of the Coalition.
That's why Attorney-General George Brandis is bleating that the plebiscite is "now the only feasible path to that outcome [same sex marriage] for many years to come", which is exactly as accurate as a dentist claiming that the only way to access a tooth that needs filling is to enter via the rectum: it requires ignoring an obvious and straightforward technique in favour of one that's unnecessary messy, painful, time-consuming and legally dubious.
However, it also looks like the ludicrously expensive and non-binding public opinion poll - the one which has already involved the anti-equality side being slapped down by Nelson Mandela's estate for using his name and image in their hate campaign, despite not having even started yet - would still pass, with only one electorate in Australia harbouring a majority of No voters.
So, if marriage equality becomes law in Australia – which it will, eventually, despite all the current faffing around – then Hanson will clearly plan to move elsewhere. After all, to stay in a gay-marriage-permitting Australia when she feels so gosh-darn strongly about the matter would be weak and hypocritical, surely?
So what are her options?
Obviously New Zealand, the United States, Canada, the UK and Ireland are out – or, to put it another way, all the other English-speaking secular democracies – and Hanson will be tragically unable to contemplate living in France, Iceland, Denmark and Greenland, Belgium, Norway, Sweden, Luxembourg, Brazil, Columbia, Argentina, South Africa, the Netherlands, Uruguay, Portugal and a fair whack of Mexico for similar reasons.
In fact, Hanson's best bet would be to leave Europe and the Americas and seek safer pastures in areas like the Middle East, China, northern Africa, and south-east Asia. After all, they're not changing the definition of marriage (to mean… um, marriage) and many of the nations have excitingly colourful legal, judicial and executory attitudes regarding LGBTIQ folks generally which would definitely discourage them from trying to change Hanson's way of thinking.
The least-coherent thing about Hanson's position is that she's so gosh darn worried about Australia being "swamped" by all these people coming to Australia from countries which evidently have opinions which are identical to hers.
Andrew P Street's new book The Curious Story of Malcolm Turnbull: the Incredible Shrinking Man in the Top Hat is out today through Allen & Unwin, with a launch on Wednesday at Better Read Than Dead.
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