This week has been a strangely big one for profile relationship breakups.
Once loved-up celebrity couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, together since 2004, with six kids, and married in 2014, split citing the old "irreconcilable differences".
TV's long-serving larrikin, Karl Stefanovic, disappeared from our screens and holed up in old mate James Packer's apartment to lick his wounds after his the news of his breakup with his wife of 21 years, Cassandra. They have three kids.
Revered rugby league super coach, Wayne Bennett, has ended his 42-year marriage with wife Trish, apparently to be with Newcastle secretary Dale Tynan.
Victim of one of the most high-profile divorces in Australia, Noelene Hogan has revealed Crocodile Dundee star Paul Hogan didn't speak to her for 17 years after leaving her for his co-star, Linda Kozlowski. Noelene gets to relive the fun all over again when a TV miniseries tells it all again next year. Unfortunate fact – Kozlowski was born the same year Paul and Nolene were married.
Having lived through the end of a marriage myself ... I know everyone involved deserves nothing but sympathy and understanding.
Club Divorce
And that's just the profile separations we know about. In Australia, one in three marriages will fail, after an average of 12 years. That's a lot of smashed plates, slammed doors and soaked pillows around the country on any quiet suburban night.
Having lived through the end of a marriage myself a number of years ago, I know everyone involved deserves nothing but sympathy and understanding. Obviously each situation is its own unique little hell, but there are some broad themes all of us men (I can only talk for men on this, I think) in Club Divorce will recognise.
Shocking questions
The first thing many split-ees will hear is "Oh, my, it came as such a shock!" Really? Were you in my kitchen for the last 20 years?
Then, more than unsettling, come the quiet conversations with other men, deeply unhappy with their personal situations and full of questions. How did you do it? Where did you live? What happened with money? Will you share custody? Um, have you met any women?
You'll find that when you've abandoned trying to rebuild a romantic relationship with your ex but are still arguing about when to sell the house, all of your old fights, hot buttons and pent-up grievances remain. Now, that none of the normal restraints provided by a loving relationship are in play, it's a forest fire.
Oh, and be sure your divorce is something you really, really want because it will be by far the most expensive thing you will buy in your life.
The great divide
Old friends will, of course, divide into the two camps. You will find an old mate, whose wife is strangely allergic to the smell of freedom around you, has become all old-man judgey about your "lifestyle". The word "lifestyle" has been used to me more than once about the change in my relationship status. It's not like I bought a ticket for a cruise for the rest of my life or suddenly decided to sell my body.
We've only seen a tiny element of the real stories that brought Wayne, Karl and Brad and their families to this point in their lives. No-one does something like this lightly and, exposed in the white-hot public gaze, celebrities are open to extreme levels of abuse, scrutiny and commentary, when in reality, only they and their exes know what really happened.
It's no-one else's damn business, frankly.
Talk it up
But that's the nature of both celebrity and divorce. Everyone will love to talk about it, whether you're famous or not. People who hardly know you will tell you they heard all about the details of your split. Most of them will be wrong.
Like a redundancy, there can be an upside to breaking up. People leave relationships because they aren't giving them what they want in life. Okay then, you've caused all sorts of drama around you, so go find your happiness to make it all worth it.
If you do find yourself in a new relationship, cherish it. Use all the tools and learnings from what happened to make sure it never happens again. You can find yourself in a relationship which is much more attentive, loving, rewarding, fun and sexy, simply because you know how to respect it and keep it happy and well.
Active choices
A relationship is like a third entity between you, a weird little invisible ghost-pet. If you don't feed it and abuse it, it'll die. If you feed, love and nurture it regularly, it'll thrive. It's an active choice.
We should go easy on those in the public eye, and those down the street, who meet this incredibly common fate. A loving, stable home life is core to our personal happiness.
We don't know what happened, despite what we read or heard, so we have no right to an opinion, beyond, "I hope everything works out as well as possible for everyone involved."
Even Brad Pitt.
Do celebrity splits make you think about your own relationships? Let us know in the Comments section.
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