Showing posts with label Old Jokes Home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Old Jokes Home. Show all posts

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Looking In . . .

Bullet points come in 3s:

  • At the time of writing, Kara is five days overdue. At this rate Chinese Democracy will see the light of day before we see the inside of the delivery room.

    Things are still up in the air with regards to the baby's weight, eye colour and hair colour but we do already know that his or her first words will be, 'How the hell did Chris Iwelumo miss that bastard sitter?' Better put a swear box in the baby's room. It'll help fund their college education.

  • Kara's iBook decided to commit hari kari during the week. Logic board . . . hard drive . . . even the solitaire game on the desktop decided to go kaputin. At this point it would be cheaper bailing out the American banking system than it would getting the iBook repaired.

    I don't want to shout conspiracy theory but I was looking at the AWL's website 15 minutes before the laptop's demise. Serves me right for checking out Sean Matgamna's poetry.

  • In happier news, Darren Redstar fortuitously finds a fascist politician to go with his blog headline and the class war started apace late last month. Granted, it was the Lehman Brothers gym, rather than barricades across Wall Street, but it's got to kick off somewhere. (Hat tip to Marx and Coca Cola blog.)
  • Monday, June 30, 2008

    Joke of the Day

    An actual scenario where 'LOL' actually applies:

    "I remember being so poor that one christmas I got a battery with a note attached saying "toys not included" how poor were you??"

    Hat tip and a mop to Big Vern over at Urban 75 for making me piss myself laughing.

    Thursday, June 12, 2008

    John Terry Watch (3)

    Mickey Mouse is thrilled to bits that he finally gets to meet in real life the guy whose face has been on his wristwatch all these years.

    Pic courtesy of Kickette blog.

    Monday, October 15, 2007

    Some Jokes Are Better Than Others

    Joke of the day. Found via here.

    Not the funniest round of jokes I've ever read, but the one below is pretty canny. Not for the fainthearted or for those of you from Larkhall:

    A Protestant Glaswegian family head out one Saturday afternoon to do their Christmas shopping. While in JJB Sports, the son picks up a Celtic Football shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be a Celtic Supporter and I want this strip for my Christmas" the sister is outraged at this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, " Go talk tae yer ma".

    Off goes the unusually intelligent little lad, with Celtic shirt in hand and finds his mother.

    "Mum." "Yes, son?"

    "I've decided I'm going to be a Celtic supporter and I want this strip for my Christmas."

    The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to yer da." Off goes this little pearl amongst swine, with Celtic shirt in hand and finds his father.

    "Dad."

    "Yes, son?"

    "I've decided I'm going to be a Celtic supporter and I want this strip for my Christmas."

    The father is outraged at this, promptly whacks his son round the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

    About half an hour later, they are all back in the car heading home. The father turns to the son and says,"Son, I hope you have learned something today?"

    The son turns to his father says, "Yes, Father, I have".

    Father says, "Good son, what is it?"

    The son replies, "I've only been a Celtic supporter for an hour and I already hate you hun bastards."

    Thursday, October 04, 2007

    That's When I Reach For My Typewriter

    Sometimes I just get an overwhelming urge to switch to wordpress. Why should I be the last blogger left behind to switch the lights off at Blogger?

    Just lost a bastard post via a combination of Safari quitting on me mid-post and blogger refusing to autosave the post 'cos it insists that I use word verification.

    The chunky monkeys dropped the bombshell that they "have detected that [my] blog has characteristics of a spam blog."

    I feel like bursting into hysterical laughter. Can't they tell the difference between an spgb blog and a spam blog?

    Wait, where did that tumbleweed come from?