That noise you heard early in the weekend from the direction of New York was the sound of the wheels going around in the brains trust in Hillary Clinton campaign bunker – how to spin a potentially damaging diagnosis by her doctor that Candidate Clinton had pneumonia?
Trump surrogates and the real, if marginal, world of internet-based conspiracy theorists have ensured that Clinton's health bubbles as an issue below the campaign radar – down to near-hysterical claims that one of the Secret Service agents who accompanies her, is a doctor; and the flashlight he carries is in fact, a Diazepam pen.
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Hillary Clinton appears to collapse
Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton appeared to collapse as she became 'overheated' and had to leave early from a September 11 memorial ceremony in New York City.
Americans love to diagnose their own ailments on the basis of what they read on the internet – so why not unfounded ailments, from Parkinson's disease and radiation poisoning to cancer and aphasia, that might afflict a potential president?
So calculations in the Clinton bunker since Friday, had to have been something like this – do we reveal that the doctor says Clinton is unwell, or do we take a punt and see if she can get through imminent scheduled events, like Sunday's 9/11 commemoration, which was all-important because a no-show would have looked bad; and on the grounds of ill- health, much worse.
So the secrecy for which Camp Clinton is renowned kicked in and the wrong decision was made – Clinton fronted; she wilted and as she was less-than-ceremonially carted off, she buckled on the kerbside, and all as an onlooker made a sensational video recording that will accompany reports on her slightest ailments – from a headache to her next hangnail.
In hindsight, her doctor's explanation – after a drama that overshadowed what has become the most solemn, emotion-charged event on the New York calendar – sounded so simple and innocent.
The words attributed to Dr Lisa Bardack in a statement issued by the campaign, were: "Secretary Clinton has been experiencing a cough related to allergies. On Friday, during follow up evaluation of her prolonged cough, she was diagnosed with pneumonia – she was put on antibiotics, and advised to rest and modify her schedule.
Hillary's handler is medic (see badge) and carries pen with injection. #HillarysHealth pic.twitter.com/LxlV18MRcx
— Mike Cernovich (@Cernovich) August 7, 2016
"While at this morning's event, she became overheated and dehydrated. I have just examined her and she is now re-hydrated and recovering nicely."
But the campaign secrecy robbed it all of the innocent and simple, and overlaid it with a more calculating and politically sinister tone.
The press detail that accompanies Clinton on the campaign train was given no explanation for her disappearance from where she had been standing with a bunch of other New York political types – so began a series of tweets that the candidate had disappeared.
In its first statement on the incident, the campaign said nothing of the Friday diagnosis of pneumonia – simply that Clinton had "overheated," whatever that might mean. And it waited for an hour before issuing the statement.
Despite decades in public life, Clinton is fiercely resistant to the notion that the price of public life is surrendering any claim to a zone of privacy, thereby stoking voter distrust and resentment that makes her a virtual equal to Trump as the must untrustworthy candidate to seek the White House.
One of her champions in the US media, former New York Times editor Jill Abramson, wrote on Sunday: "The time has come to do something daring to try to restore trust. It goes against every fibre of her nature, but Clinton should now become radically transparent.
"She should release the transcripts of her Wall Street speeches. She should release a comprehensive list of all of her paid speeches. She should release any records or correspondence that help clarify her role at the Clinton Foundation. She should announce that no member of the Clinton family, including her daughter, Chelsea, will be involved in the foundation while she is president. She should release detailed health records, including the treatment she received following her concussion several years ago.
"And, now, [she should release] the full details of her abrupt departure from the 9/11 ceremony. The campaign should never go dark when something happens, even if it's not serious."
You'd have to say that given the Clinton record, Abramson should not hold her breath.
This campaign is all about appearances, less than substances – the optics, as they say in the trade.
A case in point is a Trump refrain that Clinton doesn't have a "presidential look," which is read in some quarters as a an unsubtle bit to push sexist stereotypes – as in, a president has to look like a man, because there's never been a female president.
To which The Washington Post's resident satirist Alexandra Petri suggests that Clinton should get the George Washington presidential look – "Lose all but one of your teeth – replace them with an elaborate contraption containing hippopotamus ivory, brass screws and human teeth so that you look slightly uncomfortable all the time."