As mums, we have enough pressure on ourselves to merely keep our children alive that we don't need to add to it. Regardless though, we always manage to find something to worry about.
Although I preach the "each to their own" method of parenting and raising our children, it's unavoidable to have those moments of panic where we wonder if we are doing a good job.
But here are some things we should really avoid, wherever possible.
1. Thou shalt not compare yourself to other mums
If your friend is feeding their child organic strawberry ice blocks made with breast milk while you're feeding your kid a packaged fruit sachet you found in the bottom of your nappy bag, so be it.
We hear it time and time again that as long as your baby is being fed, that's all that matters. And it's true. As long as your kids are healthy and happy, it doesn't matter if it originated from your boobs or a container. You're doing what works for your family.
This point, of course, doesn't just apply to food. We all have different priorities and beliefs, and what works for one family won't fit the next. Don't compare or judge – just get on with your own life, happy in the knowledge you're doing the right thing for your own child.
2. Thou shalt not lie about how you're going
My pet hate is going to mothers' group and hearing the BS that spills out of some mothers' mouths about how perfect their lives are.
I admit that some people definitely have their lives much more organised than my own. They could, quite possibly, have the greatest baby in the world. But everyone has their bad days. Every one. Making out that you are Super Mum and that you're constantly living in a bubble of rainbows and sunshine doesn't make you superior or a better mum, so please just tell the truth!
I relish meeting up with my friends so we can compare our fails for the week and how we are barely scraping through. It makes us feel human and oddly accomplished to know that we are not alone in the battle that is motherhood. We don't need to discuss how wonderful our babies make our lives, because we are all living it and we all know it. What we really need to do is vent about those moments when we lost it – and love each other for owning that.
This point is even more important when it comes to mental health. If you're struggling, say something. If you need help, say something. Don't try to cover it up and think you should just 'get on with it' - please speak up!
3. Thou shalt not hate your body
It's so easy to look down at our new mum bods and hate on ourselves. We may have some new dimples, some stretch marks and dark gorilla-like nipples, but you know what? We are all in the same boat.
We have to stop comparing ourselves (there are those words again) to those amazing mothers who are lifting weights with their kids strapped to their backs, to the model mums sitting on the beach with barely a sign they gave birth just a few months ago. Are they incredible? Yes! I would love to be one of these mums. But my job isn't in that industry. I don't have the money for their personal trainers, the time to train three times a day, I don't have their metabolism, and I don't have the photoshop abilities or the right filters to make myself look like any of them.
We need to stop the unrealistic expectations that we can just snap back into shape. I'm definitely one for finding the time to exercise and eating right because I believe that's important for a mum's sanity, but these models snapchatting their toned abs while eating their calculated macros and smooching their adorable newborns? They are amazing, but they are not the every day mum.
4. Thou shalt not pass judgment
We all do this. All. The. Time.
I saw a mother grocery shopping in tracksuit pants and ugg boots; her kids have snot all over their faces and look like they have just rolled out of a bin. Judgement.
That is, until, I realised that was me. I usually put on at least jeans to leave the house, wipe my girls' faces and make sure we all look fairly decent … but if I've been up all night with sick children who need food, just getting to the shops is an accomplishment, regardless of if it's accompanied by uggies and trackies. Kudos to me and to that lady for doing what has to be done. Lesson learnt!
We don't know each others' situations behind what we see for a brief moment, so let's lay off the judgement, okay?
5. Thou shalt not feel guilty for needing time out
I cannot stress enough that sometimes wanting to be away from your adorable baby is totally and utterly normal. And eventually they'll actually thank you for it!
You have the responsibility to your children to look after yourself as well as them. They need a happy and balanced mother, and to be 'switched on' 24/7 while looking after a little person can take its toll.
Having just a short moment to yourself is enough to rejuvenate and recharge you. To just shut down your brain for a moment, whether it's taking a long shower, going for a walk or sitting down to eat a meal - it will allow you to have a greater presence when you get back into your normal 'awesome mum' mode.
And you all deserve that.