Gee, that didn’t take long.

It might interest you to know that the world’s youngest law professor is celebrating his ninth birthday today.

The United States has just invaded Haiti. I’ll bet anything these guys don’t have any WMD, either.

With all the news on TV lately about the sub-zero weather and snow that the East Coast and upstate NY areas are experiencing, we shouldn’t forget that Southern California has its share of devastating weather also. Below is a photo illustrating the excessive damage caused to a home from a West Coast storm that passed through the Los Angeles area a couple of days ago. It really makes you cherish what you have, and reminds us not to take life for granted.

Note: Please call 800-524-LIFE for donation information.

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The Language Police appear to be AWOL right now. Time for a few citizens’ arrests. The following three individuals are hereby placed under arrests for crimes against the English Language.

1. Kerry Gonzalez, Executive Director of the Georgia Association of Latino Elected Officials. On or about Thursday, February 26, 2004, Mr. Gonzalez publicly objected to the practice of calling illegal aliens “illegal aliens” rather than “undocumented [though many do have documents to prove their illegal status] workers [though not all of them work].” Quoth Mr. Gonzalez:

   We do find that term very offensive and liken it to the “n” word as well.

   That analogy to the n-word is definitely an aggravating factor. It’s bad enough taking offense as the word “illegal” at all, but to compare it to the single most offensive racial slur that has ever entered the English language is beyond the pale. That he referred to that word as “the n-word” rather than actually saying the word itself is not a mitigating factor; we all know which word he had in mind. [Well, most of us do anyway. To any Dog Trainer or Daily Pundit readers who don’t, here’s a hint: it’s neither nigh, nosh, nincompoop, Neverland nor naughty. No, it’s not neither or nor, either. Perhaps it is no? Negative.]

2. Peggy, a Blogger. Peggy has committed the same offense of hijacking the n-word to benefit an unrelated cause. In her case, the theory seems to be that today’s legal non-recognition of gay “marriages” is equivalent to enslaving a people for centuries, freeing them only losing a civil war over that issue, and then continuing for another century to force them to live in certain undesirable parts of town, use separate restrooms, attend separate and substandard schools as children, drink from separate water fountains, and ride the back of the bus. Sorry, Peg, but your cause – right or wrong – just doesn’t measure up to that. As I noted above, calling the n-word “the n-word” is not a mitigating factor for this crime. Actually saying the word, however, is an aggravating factor. That aggravating factor applies here, as Peggy, unlike Mr. Gonzalez, did not refer obliquely to “the n-word,” she actually used it.

   I probably should arrest Uncle for linking favorably to that entry, but there’s so much good stuff on that blog right now that I just can’t bring myself to do it. Plus, I have to give him something for providing the information that lead to Peggy’s arrest. So I’m letting him off with a warning – this time.

3. Rosario Marin, Candidate for U.S. Senate. Rosario Marin is under arrest for torturing the word amnesty in violation of at least one, probably several, of the Geneva Conventions. When I blogged the convention last week, I implied that Rosario had not staked out any positions on the issues that set her apart materially from the other three Republican candidates, who are Bill Jones, Howard Kaloogian and Toni Casey. Actually, that was not quite true. At one point during the debate, the four were asked to comment about President Bush’s dreadful non-amnesty amnesty proposal which would extend non-amnesty to every illegal alien undocumented worker who can actually document that he is a worker. Marin went first, and appeared to convince everyone in the room except me that she opposed President Bush’s amnesty plan. She was very clear on the point that she opposed “amnesty,” and everyone seemed to take that at face value. Privately, I wondered to myself whether she was playing a Clintonian game over the meaning of the word “amnesty.” When the other three candidates did not call her on it (even though all three opposed Bush’s proposal unambiguously), I wrote off my lingering doubts as paranoia.

   Well, it seems I was wrong. Not to harbor doubts about Marin’s position on amnesty, mind you, but to dismiss them solely because no one around me seem to share them. I only learned Marin’s real position on the issue today, upon reading this article in today’s Orange County Register. Money quote:

   On immigration, Messrs. Jones and Kaloogian oppose President Bush’s recent proposal for a kind of guest-worker program, but the program is supported by Ms. Marin. Mr. Jones said the Bush administration “has not protected the border.” Mr. Kaloogian wants to stop illegal immigrants sending money back to their home countries by requiring banks to check for “the proper identification” – a matter we believe is separate from the immigration issue.

   Ms. Marin supports President Bush’s guest-worker program and insists that critics are wrong in calling it an amnesty program. “Some of the candidates want to trash our president,” she said. “I want to help our president.” She also favors prodding Mexico to reform its anti-business policies to encourage job growth there so immigrants feel less compelled to go north.

   For one who wants to help our President in his endeavors to shove illegal immigration down California’s throat, Ms. Martin – oops, I mean, Mar

The winners have been announced. Congratulations to Fried Man for the winning non-Council entry, “Haiti, a Slow Motion Catastrophe,” and to me for the winning Council entry, “Doggie Weddings in Frisco.” That’s two in a row. Cool!

Between Dean’s drinking problem and the family’s dying dog, the Esmay family has hit a rough spot. Drop by and lend them some moral support. If you’re feeling flush, right now would be an excellent time to hit their tip jar.

Cool.

UPDATE: Apparently, I’m a video game, too. Heh.

Justene is setting a series of dates for lunch time get-togethers in the greater Los Angeles area. RSVP if you are coming. The reservations will be made under the name “Bearflag.”

• Downtown. Friday March 5 at R23, 923 East Third Street, Suite 109, Los Angeles, CA 90012
• Weekend. Saturday March 13 (brunch) at The Warehouse, 4499 Admiralty Way, Marina Del Rey CA 90292
• Pasadena. Friday March 19 at PF Changs, Paseo Colorado (inside).

I’ve already RSVPed for the March 13 brunch myself. The Warehouse was one of our favorite restaurants when we lived around there.

Venomous Kate has finally gotten out of an abusive relationship. Go wish her the best, and cut her a little slack if she gets a little more Venomous^TM than usual.