What a lot of nonsense this is about holding a non-binding plebiscite – making it no more than a glorified opinion poll – on same-sex marriage. Why go through the whole draining nonsense, all the scaremongering, all the vilification of one section of the community, all the expense, when the whole thing can be accomplished by the Parliament itself? Would this be circumventing democracy, thwarting the will of the people? No. Every poll for last two yonks clearly shows the will of the people is behind having same-sex marriage. But, more pertinently, this would simply be our Parliament acting to remove clear discrimination, just as it has covered itself with glory when doing so on other occasions. Typically, no one put it better than one time High Court justice Michael Kirby this week:
"We didn't do this for the Aboriginal people when we moved to give equality in law to them, we didn't do it when we dismantled the White Australia policy ... we didn't do it in advances on women's equality, we didn't do it most recently on disability equality. Why are we now picking out the LGBT, the gay, community?"
Michael Kirby questions why Australia should hold a plebiscite on same-sex marriage given we did not on other issues of equality.Credit:Mark Rogers
Hear, hear. Let's just get on with it!
Alan Jones conspicuous by his absence
Meantime, what's going on with you, Alan Jones?
You invented the "Pick and Stick Club", remember, which briefly morphed into the "Captain's Pick and Stick Club" during the prime ministership of Tony Abbott. The idea was: you pick your allies, and you back them to the end, right or wrong. You certainly did it with Abbott, but we could also add murderer Andrew Kalajzich – for whose retrial you successfully campaigned only for him to be found more guilty than the last time – and a whole slew of of others. You stuck with them to the bitter end – none more than Kalajzich – and they no doubt with you.
So why not Roger Rogerson this week? There he was in court, appearing for his sentencing hearing for the murder of Jamie Gao. While his fellow murderer Glen McNamara had 11 references as to his character, Rogerson had none! None, Alan. Where were you? Is there a cut-off point for how many murders before you're kicked out of the club? You've given Rogerson soft interviews over the years, you've launched his book, you've lauded him to your listeners, telling them, before throwing him soft-ball questions: "I'm not one of those politically correct people, and it mightn't be politically correct to say it, but if we had — you talk to people at the grassroots — if we had a few more of the man I'm about to speak [to] then we'd have few, fewer problems in society confronting society at the moment. A bit of old-style policing wouldn't do any harm."
You're not going to let this latest murder conviction for your old-style policeman trouble you, surely, Alan? Where were you? Pick and stick!
Must be easier, I guess just to revert to brain dead denial of climate change by pointing out Tuesday was an unseasonably cold day, before calling Kitty Chiller, "Kitty Litter" – geddit, geddit? – in typical misogynistic malice.
JOKE OF THE WEEK
I was standing at the bar in Darling Harbour when this Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me and starts to drink a pint of Guinness. After a while I said to him, "Do you know any of those eastern-type martial art skills, like kung fu, karate, or jujutsu?" He says, "No, why do you ask me that – is it because I am Chinese?"
I said, "No, it's because you've just drunk my f---ing Guinness ... "
They said it
"My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart." Masai Graham's gag, winner of the 2016 Dave's Funniest Joke of the Edinburgh Fringe award.
"Will Bill Shorten step up to the plate on budget repair in this Parliament? Or will he be like jelly on that plate, the wibble, wobble, wibble, wobble jelly on a plate, first opposing, them supporting, then not knowing what to do." Finance Minister Mathias Cormann trying to get Shorten to agree to the next budget sight unseen.
"The act of the offender disposing of the rings is utterly appalling, disgraceful and inexcusable. It was the act of a man who put morality and human decency secondary to the interests of his murderous brother." Justice Robert Allan Hulme, sentencing Marcus Stanford to 15 months in prison for helping his twin brother, Vincent, dispose of evidence after the murder of Stephanie Scott in Leeton. Marcus sold two of the murdered teacher's rings.
"My fear is that it'll be the republic debate revisited. They'll muddy the question, muddy the waters so much, it'll get a No vote because most referenda – as Gough Whitlam would say – get voted down and it could be off the agenda for 20 years." Senator Derryn Hinch – now there's a phrase that rolls neatly off the tongue and typewriter alike – speaking against the marriage equality plebiscite.
"It stops now, and that behaviour is not appropriate." Andrew Colvin, Australian Federal Police Commissioner, putting his foot down about sexist and bullying behaviour reported in the AFP.
"Do you dream of being successful? Do you think you will ever make it to the top? Do you dream of becoming an inspiration to millions of people out there? Or are you just one of them?" From the promotion for the motivational video Dream by controversial property developer Salim Mehajer.
"I hope it's not alphabetical – Hanson, Hinch, Lambie." Senator Hinch on the seating arrangements in the Senate.
Twitter: @Peter_Fitz
Peter FitzSimons is a Herald journalist, columnist and author, based in Sydney. He is also a former Wallabies player.
Most Viewed in National
Please explain
Our weekly podcast giving you insight into the stories that drive the nation.
Listen now