Sex education is important for young adults but it can often leave one with a lasting impression that falling pregnant is easy. Whilst this may be the case for some on average it can take a healthy couple up to twelve months to conceive.
For the most part, it is taught that you have your periods, you ovulate and you have your periods again. Most of the pregnancy and conception books say that a cycle is 28 days long and you ovulate some 14 days after your menstrual bleed.
It is this very basic information that not only causes unnecessary concern when conception does not happen immediately, but also can reduce ones chances of falling pregnant at all.
In reality the average cycle length is in fact 32 days and we do not ovulate 14 days after our periods, we ovulate approximately 14 days before (luteal phase). On average it can take up to 12 months for a perfectly healthy couple with no inhibitors to conceive and yet all the time I see women in a panic because they have not conceived within two months of stopping contraception.
The basic information that every couple attempting conception should know is simple. There are four main hormones that contribute. The follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) starts the follicles growing. Follicles are the small blister like bubbles on the ovaries that house the maturing egg. The follicles grow and oestrogen is produced to thicken your endometrium which is where the possible embryo may implant. When everything is right another hormone, Luteinizing hormone, surges to trigger the release of the egg which happens within around 36 hours. This is the most fertile time and when intercourse should take place, though sperm can survive for up to 5 days (with an average of 48 hours) so intercourse before this time can yield conception as well. The egg lives for 12 - 24 hours and over the following few days it travels through the fallopian tubes, is hopefully fertilised and finds somewhere to settle. As soon as ovulation occurs Progesterone increases and stays elevated. If you do not conceive then approximately 10 - 16 days later you will get your period and the process starts again.
It’s truly amazing that we manage to conceive at all when one thinks about the process.
What is commonly believed is that you need to have your periods to ovulate when in fact it's the other way around. Whilst it is possible to have a period without ovulation, if you ovulate and do not fall pregnant then a period will always follow, no matter what.
It's truly amazing that we manage to conceive at all when one thinks about the process. Statistically only one in four eggs is healthy and then one needs to have intercourse at the right time, the sperm needs to reach it, fertilise it and it has to find somewhere to land within a few days. So much can go wrong in the process which really puts emphasis on just how precious life is.
There are a few things which can be good to remember when starting the fertility journey. Firstly, don't build up your hopes that it will happen right away. Whilst some are lucky, many are not. Remember that anywhere up to 12 months is normal, especially if you're coming off hormonal contraception like the pill. Try not to set yourself a time frame. It can be highly disappointing if you say "I want to be pregnant by Christmas" and Christmas comes and goes with no pregnancy.
If you have had previous children, don't assume that your conception journey will be the same. It is often seen where a woman conceives easily the first time but not so easily the second so it's important to remember that it's not always going to be the same, especially with the body changes that occur with age. Every year counts.
Start taking folate at least three months before trying for a baby. This is to help reduce the possibility of Neural Tube Defects such as Spina Bifida. Be healthy and exercise. Things as simple as smoking, drinking too much caffeine or alcohol, can make it harder to conceive, and this applies to both men and women alike.
Learn about your body. If you're interested in knowing what is happening you can chart your temperatures, use urine strips to check for the Luteinising hormone surge that occurs before ovulation and check various other signs. Or if you just want to take it easy, intercourse every two days is very effective and ensures that there is always sperm where it needs to be when it needs to be there.
And most importantly, try not to stress too early. If you have not conceived by 12 months, this is a good time to ask about help, but if you are truly concerned then it never hurts to speak to your doctor. In today's society, with information so readily available, it's easy to get scared. Unfortunately many do experience fertility problems and have to seek help, but the knowledge that these problems exist should not make the start of your conception journey worrying or stressful. Enjoy yourself, enjoy your relationship and make sure that the intimate moments you share are not just about conception.
Nicole is an Essential Baby member and Moderator of the Conception forums. Discuss conception and trying to conceive with other members.