Debrief Week of Beauty & Paradox

Posted on July 12, 2013 by aimjane

What a week! I just finished spending five days in a ‘hideaway’ bed & breakfast in a pine forest with grass you can walk on and picnic benches, walking trails and even rain showers with rainbows. I’m an orange hue loving city girl, or so I thought, because I’m also an outdoor green lover too. Ah, paradox. On the first day our debrief teachers explained how we can simultaneously love something and also hate it, or love two seemingly opposite things at the same time. Bonhoeffer seemed to understand this dichotomy of paradoxes and wrote:

‘Who am I?
This or the other?
Am I one person today and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once?
A hypocrite before others, & before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army feeling in disorder from victory already achieved?
Who am I?
They mock me, these lonely questions of me.
Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am Thine.’

Like him since I’ve been back I’ve wondered, who am I now? Where do I fit in? I’m yellow (American) and blue (Cambodian), and have also put on a new combined colour of deep green, a colour I can never shed. This both/and, tension life is one that I will forever own as part of my identity. I belong nowhere, yet I’m a citizen of the Kingdom. I miss Cambodia dearly yet I’m excited about being in Sacramento. I hate the hot humidity there while at the same time hate dry or colder weather here.

This week was a mix between structure and free time. Group sessions and individual counseling. There’s a scene in The Return of the King when the four guys return to the Shire and go into a pub and look around and feel completely out of place and alone… Then they each pick up their mugs, look each other, and without words ‘clink’ them together. It was a week that looked like this, of rubbing shoulders and sharing stories with like-minded people who could ‘clink glasses’ together and acknowledge we understand each other without words or long winded explanation or translation. A community of people from around the world who got my struggles, and could identify with my losses, and gains. It felt good.

It wasn’t a week of any major revelations, but rather a week of confirming that the feelings, both consciously and subconsciously, I experience are normal, and that my passion for incarnational ministry, cities, and human rights is still there. A reminder that my story is not over yet; God has a magnificent plan for my future. And not only does He have a plan for later but He’s here with me in the now; and gracious in giving me time & space to transition and integrate into a state of ‘new’ normalcy in the States.

I’m grateful for the chance at a week of debrief and renewal (and a gorgeous view of Pike’s Peak every morning), and for friends to share my heart with and to know that my stories were heard. And I’m grateful for the last four years in Cambodia, for all the good, the great, the bad, and the ugly; the full paradoxical story.

a cambodian love poem

Posted on May 7, 2013 by aimjane

I.Love.Cambodia.Alot.

It’s very true indeed. And my friend Whitney who blogs at Journey Mercies agrees! She wrote a beautiful poem about Cambodia and I think it’s so spot-on-lovely I want to share it here too.

who is cambodia?

she is scent of ginger on the breeze.

the sound of children laughing as they scramble in the dirt.

the growl of a moto, the hum of a monk’s voice praying in the morning.

the lonely strains of music floating over a soul long gone,

the screech of karaoke celebrating life still here.

flowers, mango, jackfruit, decaying fish-

the sweet and the pungent living nestled together.

she is the face of an old woman, too old to remember a time of youth,

mouth wrinkled from speaking to her grandchildren,

teeth stained red with betel and love.

she is the smooth round cheek of a toddler,

eyes shiny with life, not yet knowing the strain of tomorrow.

she is humid, sticky heat that comes in march and refuses to go.

she is the roar of water falling from the sky in sheets in august.

she is the shock of cold air in an early january dawn.

she is color, and light, and sunsets too brilliant to be captured.

cambodia is life brought close to the senses.

once she finds her way behind your eyes,

she will never leave.

Whitney wrote more about Cambodia – what it’s like, where it is, and why it’s so lovely. So if you want more reasons to add to your own “I-Love-Cambodia” list, pop on over and read more here.

i found one

Posted on March 20, 2013 by aimjane

I just finished watching the documentary “Tangled” on the labour exploitation of migrant workers in Malaysia.

And my jaw is gaping because it is so well done.

What do I mean by “so well done”. Well, for starters it’s not overly sensational, or emotive. {BUT don’t be fooled it’s still engaging!} It wove facts with stories and brightly-coloured infographics, and I actually watched it until the very end. I felt sadness to see the reality of the 2-4 million migrant workers coming from all over Asia, but it didn’t leave a gross, pity-aftertaste in my mouth.

For me it communicated the links between migration and labour exploitation in such a tremendous way that if we watched it and passed it on enough, it might just have the potential to be the leading agent we need to broaden our lens of “trafficking” to recognize the need to care about labour exploitation too.

The call to action also hit home for me personally – reminding me {again} that it starts with the small things. Yes, of course, we need lawyers and hotline numbers and case managers, regional programs, and social workers. But the big stuff starts with the small stuff. The simple smile, or the “thank you” to the people who serve us can go a long way. Waitresses, security guards, domestic workers, food stall vendors, grocery store clerks, parking attendants. It’s about treating humans as humans. And I like that. It challenges me. It gives me hope.

And so, “Tangled” {hmm, sounds like a synonym for “complex” – hmm, maybe a theme is emerging here?! ;)} has immediately jumped to the top of my short “trafficking & exploitation recommended film list”.

So if you’ve stumbled or landed on this post, why not take 18 minutes {make some tea or order a coffee} and watch it. And then if you like it, pass it on and tell your friends & family why you like it.

Tangled: Migrant workers in Penang from joanna dorai on Vimeo.

It starts with the small things. (:

ranking exploitation, & gang rape in cambodia

Posted on March 19, 2013 by aimjane

Maybe exploitation can’t be ranked.

I’m sorry it’s been almost a month since my last post. But between that post and today I’ve been encouraged by the number of people I’ve been able to dialogue with about trafficking and exploitation. Friends who sit and have coffee together, friends who stay up late to chat, friends who commented on the post or emailed me. I’m humbled friends. Thanks for the amazing dialogue!

Something that keeps coming up in the dialogues I’ve been having is a challenge to push our idea about human trafficking out of an isolated, silo issue and see it as a connection or a progression or a component of a greater problem: a fundamental violation of human rights, an issue of gender based violence. It’s complex, remember?!

When a colleague told me a few months ago: “oh human trafficking, it’s really just a narrow legal definition” it got me thinking. Hmm. And then questions about whether human trafficking is really “THE issue” were raised. And since then I’ve been looking more at seeing it from a larger human rights framework perspective (rather than an abolitionist movement).

Maybe if we did shift our framework towards a more human rights based framework – if I did, if we all did – it would help us see the need for programs and awareness and attention on exploitation for labour as well as sex, reduce raid based rescues, and foster our energies more towards looking at our own spending patterns and more relationship based, harm-reduction strategies that may be more sustainable and make change really real.

Truthfully this is a spontaneous post (I’m sat here at a coffee shop close to being kicked out because they’re closing, after a research interview, and fringing on a sugar crash!). I just watched this video about gang rape in Cambodia. And I guess it just got me re-thinking about this whole “ranking exploitation” thing we subconsciously do when we put one issue in all of the spotlight and then we make it “the one” and forget all the others.

Gang rape. It’s horrible, horrendous. But why hasn’t it been in the popular media like “sex slavery” has been? Cambodia has one of the highest rate of gang rape in the region, maybe even above India (which recently has had a lot of media attention). I guess I’m just saying, I think we need to broaden our focus to the larger issues of exploitation and human rights – and remember that these issues of domestic violence, human trafficking, rape, and labour violations are all connected and fit under the umbrella of exploitation.

Okay, so watch it (it’s not graphic):

http://www.aljazeera.com/news/asia-pacific/2013/03/201337232128280310.html

I’d really love to hear your thoughts. Do you think we are on to something?

‘glam packers’ go to the beach!

Posted on March 10, 2013 by aimjane

Sandy white beaches
and bamboo huts.
Endless ocean views
and constant lapping waves.
Chicken burgers,
wine,
and bannanagrams.

Glampacking on Otres Beach.

Sun kissed noses,
new tan lines.
Nighttime beach walks,
and early sunrise races.
Strong french presses,
and refreshing coconut juice later.

Gorgeous sunsets,
gorgeous sunsets,
gorgeous sunsets.

This weekend my flatmates and I bussed our way down to the beach for the long International Women’s Day weekend. We’d been training early mornings to run the Sihanouville 10km and decided to extend it into a fun girls hoorah weekend before B & J head home to the states (in less than two weeks = mega sadness!).

The race was pretty fun overall though we were all dying from the humidity and hills. An official welcome-to-hot-season I guess! The beach lying part, the talking and laughing and playing games bits, and the wave splashing moments were my highlights.

I’m grateful for the wonderful flatmates I’ve lived with here, and these three have been amazing, fantastic, and wonderful. Thanks J & J & B!

PS I’ve always been an adamant ‘no-to-Kampong-Som-girl’ but this beach surprised me – Otres was not at all trashy, in fact it was: flashy! We learned two new words this weekend. Apparently, news to us, the new terms for backpackers who like travelling in style are ‘glam packers’ and ‘flash packers’. So that’s what we pretended we were!😉

Calling for Decent Work on IWD

Posted on March 8, 2013 by aimjane

This morning I joined my first rally at what I was introduced to as ‘Freedom Park’. The rally was organized by trade unions and grassroots networks to ask the government to ratify ILO Convention 189 which calls for Decent Work for Domestic Workers. When my friend and I arrived around 9am there was a large event tent with hundreds of young Cambodian domestic workers. And loud speakers, Apsara dancing, and proclamations saying that women in domestic work have rights like all women – rights like a fair minimum wage, 1 day off per week to rest, and paid maternity leave. The 1997 Labour Law in Cambodia is not unlike other laws in countries around the world – which explicitly exclude the domestic work sector from basic worker protections. When we left later that morning, a row of Tuk Tuks were waiting to spread awareness around the city. Awareness that today – on International Women’s Day – women’s rights are also domestic worker rights.

What struck me the most as a newbie in public advocacy campaigns in Cambodia was the confinement on where we could rally, and how much I respected those who rally regularly -knowing that the only park they are permissed to gather is far from any public attention. I heard someone call it ‘Jail Park’ not Freedom Park. And sadly it seems they may be right.

All hope was not lost however because along with the rally a joint statement asking for ratification of the convention and realization of domestic worker rights was co-signed by 39 trade unions, networkers, and NGOs regionally! And I felt proud to see Chab Dai’s name as one of them. On Monday the letter will be sent to the government and media. The ratification of this is one step towards reducing labour exploitation and will strengthen our lobbying with other countries like Malaysia and Thailand to treat our migrant domestic workers fairly too.

Let’s pray together that employers around the world will recognize the innate dignity and personhood of their house workers (domestic workers, and gardeners, guards, and drivers too!). And that whether or not the law changes- that hearts would change to have compassion, empathy, and respect despite colour, background, language, or social status.

Happy International Women’s Day!!

street snacks

Posted on February 23, 2013 by aimjane

What I love about Phnom Penh is everything that goes on in the streets. Dancing aerobics in the mornings. Neighbors talking and eating mangoes together after work. Hellos to kids on the moto next to me at stop lights. 1-2-3 chanting as I run past tuk tuk drivers. I even love the craziness of the traffic (sometimes). The smells, the colours, the noises. Sigh.

And I love the street food. I love the songs announcing each food as the seller passes by. I love trying to guess from afar if the umbrella and the cart match what I’m looking for. I love the colourful snacks women carry on their heads. I especially love the ice cream man song (a favorite everywhere right?).

Here are some fun foods sold on the streets (the bugs aren’t standard street goodies, just treats along the riverside or markets.

And this is my favorite, the one that’s worth a long search and maybe even a song for: (it’s grilled sweet potato w/ coconut & sugar)

And one more, the ballon seller man. He’s another street favorite❤

human trafficking = complex

Posted on February 21, 2013 by aimjane

I’ve been trying to write this blog for days now and it’s as if I said ‘okay I’ll write’ and then a hundred pent-up opinions and ideas spilled onto the page in no ordered, rambling way. Forgive me if it’s still not perfectly polished and it’s still really long. But remember this blog is meant to be a dialogue and your comments or examples are important to me.

The more I learn, the more I read, the more meetings I attend, and the more stories I hear, the more I know one thing for sure about human trafficking: it is complex. Like really, it’s really complex. Not a stagnant, study it and get it complex, but a shifting, always changing kind of complex.

Complexity Example 1: Rescue is not the only solution.

I remember before I came to Cambodia when I went to the movie theatre with my Dad to see Taken – a big blockbuster movie about human trafficking. (Maybe you’ve seen it already? If not, sorry but I’m about to spoil the ending for you!) After the star, a girl who had been grabbed, trafficked, and miraculously rescued by her father (who just so happened to be a Navy seal with access to really fast cars and intelligence in a foreign country) returned home, the whole theatre probably sighed audibly. ”Yay,” and thought. “She’s safe, it’s over.” But to the embarrassment of my Dad, my reaction wasn’t so happy, nor very calm. Actually I’m pretty sure there was some shushing by my Dad as I became increasingly angry, frustrated and fidgety.

The closing scene showed her back at home, happy, and with a famous movie star (random!) if I remember correctly who came to give her free singing lessons (her dream come true?). The normalcy, the smiling, the acting as if the kidnapping, beating, and selling had not just happened all just pushed me over the edge. I started thinking “There’s more, this isn’t true, this isn’t the end of her story!”. And then it came out of my mouth, quitely and then louder. Loud enough I hoped for those who had watched the movie and were smiling as they walked out of the theatre to hear.

I was willing really hard that they would see too what I had only first started to really understand: that the media’s portrayal of human trafficking is often only half-truth, oversimplified, and over-sensationalized. That the only solution to human trafficking is not a rescue. And that prevention programs, community-level trainings about safe migration, child protection awareness raising, trauma recovery programs, outreach programs, safe living arrangements, vocational training schools, employment with socially responsibly business are a few examples of solutions that when done in collaboration with rescue may result in positively and sustainably addressing human trafficking.

But I’m not sure they heard me, or wanted to, or would have believed me even if they did. Or if I even believed it as much as I do now.

Complexity Example 2: No single pulling-on-our-heart-strings documentary, no book (even if it’s won a Pulitzer Prize), or the most viewed abolitionist website, and maybe not even one research can explain the complexities of human trafficking in it’s entirety.

While I’ve been here I’ve seen the impact that the Global Economic Crisis (2008/2009) had on women’s access to factory work jobs here, and have read research about the rising number of women finding work in beer gardens and karaoke bars (and recruited to domestic work in Malaysia and wage labor jobs in Thailand). I’ve read about the police and military police shutting down brothels, and subsequently know that more and more people are being exploited in off-site locations, like guesthouses. Am I saying that there are no more brothels? No, sadly, I’m sure there are still some. But that’s not the point, the point is that the primary site for exploitation has shifted.

When I talk about this with visiting teams or churches who often want to start programs for young girls and rescue them from brothels I explain the shift with this analogy – 1) there’s a big brothel building, 2) that big brothel building is squashed, 3) the big brothel building has now divided itself into smaller buildings (coffee shops, guesthouses, karaoke parlors, and beer gardens). The exploitation hasn’t ended, it’s morphed – what it looks like now has changed. And so must our response, including how we tell stories and make movies.

Okay, I can feel myself quickly wanting to get onto one of my soapboxes so I’m only going to say two more things and open it up to hear your comments and ideas. 1) I think we have underestimated the power of the media to influence how we look at the world, and more specifically we have allowed their sensational footage to grab our heart strings and define human trafficking for us in a one-dimensional, oversimplified way. 2) I think as “a movement” we have forgotten to expect change and embrace the reality that we are always learning – even if that means we have to (with no shame) admit our programs aren’t relevant any more and change everything about them.

So I’m left asking a sleu of questions: If the media are so influential, how we do we collaborate with them to present more full-truths? Are we as viewers, with our “emotional demands” the ones asking for more under-cover brothel raid footage and crying young girls? Why do the documentaries and stories that people working everyday on counter-trafficking projects agree are telling the truth never get as many views as famous people?

Help me, do you have any ideas? Are you asking these questions too?

okay, i’m ready to start dialoguing about it

Posted on February 17, 2013 by aimjane

By now it’s probably noticeable that I rarely post about human trafficking, about exploitation. I’ve had my reasons, my favorite being my don’t mix work&play excuse. I’ve enjoyed the ease of writing about my feelings, my heart, my travels over the past four years. And every time I’ve thought about posting about the “big” issues, claiming expertise has seemed both daunting and impossible.

So, why now?

Maybe my sudden urge to start sharing was prompted because I started our study on exploitation trends this week. Maybe researching Cambodia’s counter-trafficking responses and influencing factors over the past ten years has me really excited. Maybe the last month of rest gave me enough courage and space to consider hashing out my own thoughts on human trafficking. And maybe I feel scared of leaving Cambodia one day with regret for not sharing what I’ve learned with others who will carry on advocating.

For all those reasons and because today’s a good day as any to start, this is me saying I want to write down more of my thoughts, what I’m reading, and the questions I’m asking. And sorry, I definitely make no promises for any “comprehensible manner” to what is shared.

But, I’m ready to start dialoguing now.

If you’ve been reading my blog and enjoying my pictures (which will continue too, promise), I invite you to read the articles I post, the research and the books I may critique or praise. But please don’t just read: share your opinions, ask questions, give answers, and post your readings/writings too.

Let’s dialogue together. Please. Will you join me?

the big reveal

Posted on January 20, 2013 by aimjane

A great friend of mine (her name is Steph, and if you want to feel inspired you should read her blog – it’s phenomenal to say the least!) told me a secret: she never makes new year’s resolutions until the 10th of January because everything before that is pure hype, band-wagon type resolutions that never last the full twelve months. So this year I made a decision to give some more thought to my “list” (which was perfect because who is ever organized enough around the holidays to have an inspiring year-long list on the 1st anyways?!), and I asked my flatmates to join me.

Along with a list of fun things we hoped to do or learn or be this year, we decided to pick a word – only one – to hold on to, reflect on, and remember for 2013.

I try my best not to over think these kind of decisions (but it does feel a bit daunting right – a word, only one, for an entire year!). And it was in one of my morning hammocking sessions (phnom penh’s cool weather has allowed for porch swinging until 9am, which if you live here you know that’s at least 2 hours longer than during hot season, phe-nom-enal!), as I was floating and not thinking much about anything that the word “wait” came to my mind.

My first reaction was strong; a string of simultaneous thoughts – that’s a horrible word, I hate waiting, no – and I admit a reaction of panic and silent pleading with God followed in which I asked Him to please give me a more upbeat, fun word. And maybe what I also really felt fear. Fear about what waiting might imply or in what circumstance(s) I would be asked to wait.

Thankfully I had a few more days to decide (thanks Steph, I really needed those extra days!) so I defaulted to sitting with the word and mulling it over before making any “final decisions”. On the night before the 10th I happened to be watching the sun set in one of my favorite spots in phnom penh, and decided to give it one more gung-ho attempt to accept my word before the big reveal (we had a “reveal lunch” planned for the next day at a swanky, artsy, health-consious restaurant in town). Thinking I should probably start with clarifying what it meant, I looked it up for the first time. And when I did I was stunned:

wait (v.): ‘to rest in expectation’ or ‘to remain or be in readiness’

This wasn’t what I thought wait meant at all. It wasn’t quite as lame or boring or lazy sounding. Actually it sounded like an active word. The list of webster’s synonyms fueled my growing appreciation of the word even more: to await, expect, abide, serve, bid, tarry.

I felt totally confused, and untrusting, so I cross-checked the definition on another site and it was the same. (I’m determined that I clearly need to consult a dictionary more often, because who knows how many other words might actually have opposing meanings to my operating belief system. And because really, wait is a pretty easy, simple word, right?! And if I don’t have this one right, how many others could I potentially have wrong?!)

To test the definition even further I googled “wait in the Bible” on my phone. The key verses that appeared at the top of the list were all themed around this same activeness: wait because God is enough (Lamentations 3:24-26), waiting requires true strength (Psalm 27:14), wait asks for a confidence that there will be an answer (Micah 7:7).

I read Sarah’s description about how waiting is connected with trust and hope, and it added further depth of meaning to the word for me:

‘Waiting, trusting, and hoping are intricately connected, like golden strands interwoven to form a strong chain. trusting is the central strand because it is the response from My children that I desire the most. Waiting & hoping embellish the central strand and strengthen the chain that connects you to Me. Waiting for me to work, with your eyes on Me is evidence that you really do trust Me… Because you are Mine, you don’t just pass time in your waiting. You can wait expectantly, in hopeful trust.” (Jesus Calling, March 12th)

And so, it was with this new perspective (and an accurate definition!), and with the sun finishing it’s illumination for the day, that I gave in, I accepted it.

Wait, it’s my “official” word for 2013.

And so I wait. I wait for direction. I wait for clarity. I wait for renewed vision. I wait to think before I speak. And I wait for future relationships. Knowing it is with expectancy and hope, and an extra does of strength, that I wait for each of these.

And I do all of this feeling glad about my word, hopeful – not only does it have full potential to be upbeat and fun, but also maybe embellishing. Bring it on 2013, I’m waiting!

aimee and cambodia

joining hands in cambodia to shine forth Jesus' love & justice