Does this go beyond a postie’s line of duties?

You have to talk to knock on strangers’ doors constantly. You’re pelted with vicious, bloodthirsty magpies every time spring comes around. And you probably have a lot of “package” innuendo jokes thrown at you when you tell people what you do for a living.

But here’s a not-so-humble request which would definitely justify quitting your job on the spot.

A clearly-terrified resident asked their postie for a favour — in writing — that no human being of any occupation should be subject to.

“I write to you on this day to ask a simple task of you,” the note reads. “Living on the right side of my mailbox is a spider, seemingly holding my mail hostage.

“If you could remove him for me, either by relocation or brutal murder, I would be forever in your debt.”

There is also a helpful drawing of the diabolical beast, in case the postie in question was confused by the request.

We don’t actually know the outcome of this horror-slash-thriller tale, but we’re inclined to assume one of the following scenarios took place:

1. A bloodthirsty battle ended in the death of either the postman or the spider. Money’s on the postie.

2. The postie left a passive-aggressive note in response, telling the resident to kill their own damn spider.

3. The resident in question simply moved house.

Either way, spiders are terrifying.

Originally published as Terrifying request for postie