If you couldn't make it to Make
Music New York, at my
Prospect Place Playhouse, in
Park Slope, Brooklyn, June 21, 2016, here's a little taste of what you missed! This is me, performing "
Heart-Shaped Box" By
NIRVANA. I don't know.
Maybe we all took this little dude,
Kurt Cobain, for granted, thinking that he was so awesome, that he could even defy death, by his shear will, to express his soul, through his music. I don't know why he decided to check out early but in his short time on this
Earth, he gave us some of the most amazing music, as a gift!
I've been around for a minute but NIRVANA's "
Nevermind" is probably the most addictive music I've ever had the pleasure to internalized. It contains all of the teen-aged boy anger, angst and adulation that I, every Lesbian and most straight, adult males, could identify with, whether you were, as
Jimi Hendrix once stated "experienced", or not. I got him! WE got him.
It's just too bad, none of us could get "TO" him before it was too late. I miss his force, every day! He screamed "I Miss you! I'm not gonna crack
..." but he did...permanently. This is me, not "cracking" today. I don't have to medicate myself, after some "nut case" takes an
AR-15 and kills 49 of my
GAY brothers & sisters and wounds 53 more, while they were relaxing at in a nightclub--a "so-called safe space" and wounding another 53, who will never be the same. I can take action, today, when some creepy, Jihadists decide to join
ISIS, to commit suicide and to take themselves and a bunch of innocent bystanders, with them. I do this. I'm not afraid to love. I love everybody, equally! I love, even in the face of such irrational, hatred. There will always be
EVIL, in the world. There will always be those who try to scare us into despair. It's definitely not cool but I must stay cool, calm and collected.
Yes, "And this, too, shall pass." No, I don't have to do "blow" or "speed" and attempt to race away, to my "next lifetime--not today!" In my humble opinion, music is my God
Blessed, raison d'etre. I don't really understand anything else, in this world--especially hate.
Hatred of others, hate of self or hate of
Humanity. I don't get it, so I must forget it. Music answers any questions I may have, with solid, measured, mathematical answers, that never change--unlike some people we all know!
Haha!
Anyway, I grew up in
Grand Rapids, Michigan,
President Ford's home town.
People make jokes about how friendly and loving people from the Mid-West are but they aren't really kidding. Most Michiganders are really that freaking nice, which begs the question of "how could I have fallen into such a self-destructive treadmill of drug addiction?" I've been clean for so long, I didn't think it mattered why I stopped but that I did stop. Now I know that it did matter and why it mattered then and why it matters, now.
I never imagined I would be reading about young,
White children, dealing with "
Heroin" addiction and dying from "overdosing".
Really? How "trying
Heroin" became a thing, is a mystery to me but understanding "self-medicating" and trying to escape emotional and physical pain, which is just one of many ways people become addicted, I get. I know
I'll probably get a bunch of damn "blow back" but it needs to be stated how the "culture of guns" should be considered as addictive, as any other instrument of self destruction. Did I state that clearly enough?
Yes, I'm talking to anyone who has developed a co-dependency on a gun, as an "object of desire." Yes, the same way a person, who I'm not naming, to protect the guilty, can become addicted to
SEX, ALCOHOL,
DRUGS,
MONEY,
POWER,
FOOD, WORKING, EXERCISING, or any other type of OBSESSIVE/COMPULSIVE,
CONTROL, over anything!
Guns are responsible for 49% of all suicide deaths--and that's just from reported and treated suicide attempts. We know that there are at least 25 attempts, for every suicide carried to a permanent end, to what-ever temporary problem you may be experiencing, including "
FEAR".
Suicide, gun deaths need to be included in a national health conversation.
We can do better!
Once upon a time, I was on the road to self-destruction but I discovered that by loving myself more, I could in turn love others, exponentially more. I love myself, enough to know that love and forgiveness, even for one's self, can cure a whole lot more "booboos", than hate can. I hope Kurt Cobain is listening, up in
Heaven, giving me 2 thumbs up.
Thanks Kurt, dude! I love all of y'all and I hope you like my version of "Heart-Shaped Box", too. SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE
(1800-273-TALK) or(1-800-273-8255)
Talk to somebody!
- published: 29 Jun 2016
- views: 15