Early Sunday evening, I had convinced my seven year old son to play a game of Talisman with me using the speedier play rules from the back of the book. We had a rip-roaring good time with two of the more funny, supremely divergent story lines I have ever seen. His troll had raked in tons of beneficial encounters and breezed through combat while my priest was converted to evil by Mephistopheles, lost all his money, was stalked by a hag, and then wounded and challenged around every corner. In that game, I'd had a great comeback in the end only to fall short as he rose to power. Between the amusing dichotomy of our respective paths and my final, futile surge, I'd have to call it my favorite game of Talisman ever. Thus, later on in the evening when the rest of the family turned in for bed, I found myself without anything to do and still glowing from the game. What better way to spend my last couple of hours, I thought, than to play a solo game of Talisman against the clock. I figured I'd field one hero, use all of the regular rules for leveling up and try to reach the Crown in one hour flat (all while jotting notes for this report, mind you). I find setting up the time-lapse cam while playing these solitaire games adds to my enjoyment as I really don't feel alone, and I'm accountable to the eye in the sky. So, I set the timer on my phone, plopped my randomly-selected Warrior down on the board at his starting location in the Tavern, and got on my way. With a few uneventful bits glossed over, and undoubtedly something left out, here's how the game progressed. - Early on in my explorations I loaded up on goodies, finding an Amulet in the plains, then on to the ruins for a Mule and a Book of Spells (which yielded a hex spell). I went ahead and cast my hex on a middle-region space thinking it'd free up my one slot should I find a teleport or other useful spell. - Soon after, I encountered a wraith in the fields, getting my low-craft rear-end handed to me by the specter, taking my first wound. - My day got a bit better when I found the holy grail in the woods. Kind of makes the rest of the quest anticlimactic when you find the ultimate literary relic under a fern while you're taking a leak against a tree. - I then ran into a giant in a wooded area, and he reminded me that grail or not, I was still vulnerable to large bludgeoning implements. I took my second wound and ran, screaming like a little girl. - The Sentinel felt bad for me and offered me a trinket that had gotten stuck in his toll bucket ... It was a TALISMAN. - I further nursed my wounds with a bag of gold found in the fields. - Then, in the hills, I got my first taste of victory in combat, besting an Ogre. In this case, my talking mule had no interest in joining the green-skinned brute on his quest. Although I wish he had. He kept talking about parfaits. - I stopped by the sentinel's bridge, and told him that until I saw the latest inspection report from the Army Corp of Engineers I had no interest in crossing the rickety structure. Showing how fickle he could be, he threw an Orb of Knowledge at me. - I stopped by the village a couple of times in that time-span and in both cases, the snooty mystic ignored me. - In the fields, I found a healer, but I had already gotten some healing from the fine sisters at the chapel, so I told him I'd stop by if any other big fellas tried to play whack-a-mole with my noggin. - In the fields, I found another Ogre, and just like Shrek 2, I couldn't stick around. We called it a stand-off and I left before the credits. - I then discovered a market in the hills and bought a sword off the clearance rack. Apparently it had been pawned a few hours earlier by a drunken, unlucky evil priest who had no use for it. - A trip to the ruins turned up a Phantom, but fortunately it was not Billy Zane in purple tights, because that probably would have been too much. It also revealed a Fountain of Wisdom, so I began to bump up my craft score. - Shortly thereafter I was ignored by the village mystic again. Apparently he's a BIG Billy Zane fan, and I offended him with my previous paragraph. - I then headed into my home turf for a drink at the tavern, a ferryman was looking to drum up some business, but as his name was Charon, I was skeptical and refused. - Journeying to the city, I found a fellow named Al Chemist who was running one of those "Cash for Gold" operations, and he bought my amulet from me. I didn't want it anyway. It was half of a BFF medallion for someone I'm not talking to anymore (I'm looking at you, Troll). - I once again heard the call of nature and stopped by the woods, turns out the tree I was urinating on was a mercenary in some effective camo. As an offer of apology I lent him my swell cloak and gave him the last of my cash to enlist him into my service. I told him to check the mule for some Fabreeze. - My buddy the merc and I hit the fountain of wisdom again. I was feeling craftier and craftier. - Th

• published: 08 Dec 2008
• views: 2910