This is what a midlife crisis looks like - for Gen X

I'm in the vanguard of Generation X - born two years after it mooched into troubled existence in 1965, the very year psychologist Elliot Jacques first coined the term "midlife crisis".

I've had insane haircuts, been in bands, run club nights in dodgy venues, travelled to wasted war zones with the risk of chemical attack and equally wasted after-party parties. But on my last birthday, I hit that number. The big one. The tombstone of dreams. Until then, I'd been surfing this whole growing-up thing. Then suddenly I started panicking.

Looking around me, I can see I'm not alone. Presenter Chris Evans's recently published book Call the Midlife was a confident advice guide on facing the big Five-Oh, which sounded convincing right up until the moment he quit Top Gear.

Social commentator Miranda Sawyer has just released her midlife memoir, Out of Time. Ben Stiller - whose film Reality Bites defined the Gen X grunge aesthetic - more recently starred in Walter Mitty, about a middle-aged man's fantasy life.

Michelle Obama claimed her controversial 49th birthday fringe cut was a midlife crisis: "I couldn't get a sports car. They won't let me bungee jump."

But Generation X; growing up under the threat of nuclear war, facing the first wave of advertising that sold a lifestyle and not a product; we've always been quite precious about avoiding cliches. And an X-er midlife crisis is a very different thing to the type that our parents had.

"The Boomer's midlife crisis - having affairs, buying motorbikes, quitting their job to become an artist - all came from financial stability," argues Bill Hodson, a music industry executive in his late forties.

"We're not in a position to keep mistresses in flats and ride around on Harley-Davidsons. We're the generation that would boast about going out Friday night and being found still dancing on Monday morning. Unfortunately those life choices turned out to be disastrous – leeching out our serotonin and playing merry hell with our joints. We're not looking for an exciting, creative career change – we're just hoping we can hang on to our job or keep our business going for the next 10 years."

For Miranda Sawyer, "I realised I was having a midlife crisis when I started doing the 'death maths'. That moment when you realise you've got less time ahead of you than the time behind you. But for my generation, we're finding ourselves here without the products or big houses we might have expected."

So what does a Generation X midlife crisis look like? It's not hard to find out. We are the first generation to have our midlife crisis smeared all over Facebook. That's where you'll see the fortysomething Mamils (middle-aged men in Lycra) on their carbon-fibre bikes (the new Porsche) going on day-long road races (the new gold - a whole day away from the family). It's where you see the fastest-growing group of problem drinkers (middle-aged mums) sharing snaps of mid-week group outings that make stag nights look tame.

I've avoided the carbon-fibre bike, but fallen victim to something a little stupider - signing up for a Tough Mudder assault course obstacle race that is clearly unsuitable for a man of my advancing years. Plus I've joined a band. Again. 

Telegraph, London