Nish Kumar: ‘I laughed so hard I nearly threw up’

The funniest standup I’ve ever seen

One out of Louis CK, Chris Rock, Daniel Kitson, Stewart Lee, Richard Pryor or Bridget Christie. James Acaster is phenomenal, but he’s my friend so I can’t say him or he’ll make fun of me.

The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen

Bill Hader playing Stefon on Saturday Night Live is a treat, but the first time I saw Greg Davies doing his mindreader character Derren Chilblain in We Are Klang I laughed so hard I nearly threw up.

The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned

I have an Entertainment 720 t-shirt. That will either mean nothing to you, or everything.

The funniest word

Trebuchet.

The funniest person I know

Joint first place for my cousins. They are 11 and eight and they have absolutely no respect for me. They call me Madam Lily. I assumed that this was a reference to some TV show but apparently it isn’t.

The funniest book I’ve ever read

Dead heat between Catch-22 and Alan Partridge’s book. The former influenced my whole outlook on the world, the latter got me told off by an air steward on a flight for laughing too loudly while everyone else was asleep.

The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny

Question Time.

The funniest heckle I’ve ever had

Years ago, I was gigging with some of the guys from The Inbetweeners. I was on first and it was clear that the crowd had no interest in me. I did about a minute of my allotted 10 before a man stood up and shouted: “When are the famous people on?”

The funniest number

23.

The funniest joke I’ve ever heard

It’s not really a joke, but my family in Kerala have this expression that I love. If someone is trying to rip you off or trick you in some way, you say: “What is this? Cucumbertown?” I have no idea what it means but I adore it.

Nish Kumar will be at Pleasance Theatre, N7, 13 July and the Pleasance Courtyard, Edinburgh, 3 to 28 August; see nishkumar.co.uk for details