The Fiver
Football’s most tea-timely email brought to you by the Guardian's team of hacks. Sign up today and have your own free copy sent direct to your inbox at 5pm(ish) every weekday.
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Does a session with Dr Hubris await?In today’s Fiver: The Euro 2016 final, Lazio’s free Saturday, and Jinkin’ Joe Ledley
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99 Luftballons v We’ve Got a FeelingIn today’s Fiver: Germany v France, His humility, and fans being put firs … oh
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Will they be dancing in the streets of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?In today’s Fiver: Champagne supernova, tax-knack and Manchester City’s mind box
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Axes grinding and bile bubblingIn today’s Fiver: Lenny Pidgeley, the poison of Euro 2016, and gift horses
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Wales is the home of footballIn today’s Fiver: The epicentre of European football ambitions. Plus duct tape
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Counting the diamonds around sinks in other people’s homesIn today’s Fiver: the Euro 2016 quarter-finals! Plus Sisqo and swimming
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Callous indifference to his achievements at Halmstads and MalmoIn today’s Fiver: so long Mr Roy, England suggestions, and Greg Dyke’s morale boost
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We all know what happens nextIn today’s Fiver: the circle of England life, KWS and a bumper set of letters
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Find out once and for all whether laughter is the best medicineIn today’s Fiver: Gylfi Sigurdsson’s dreams, Leo Messi’s salty tears, and more
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Disarming hair and a dangerous mindIn today’s Fiver: a horrible dream, Guus Hiddink’s parachute, and booze
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Mythical counter-attacking creatures and bearded defensive beastsIn today’s Fiver: Iceland, green onesies, and your constitutional duty
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An attempt to recreate PJ and Duncan’s Let’s Get Ready To RhumbleIn today’s Fiver: Po’ Him, a bum deal and the Taxpayers FC transfer dart
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A series of blind alleys full of hulking tattooed Martin SkrtelsIn today’s Fiver: Stalinist mobilisation, Mr Roy and more unicorn chat
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Everything should turn out just fineIn today’s Fiver: Gareth Bale’s burger, Xherdan Shaqiri’s rubber worries and the return of Brendan Rodgers’ teeth
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Inventing trying hard and national prideIn today’s Fiver: champion lovers, dragons, Jogi Löw and more
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Such etymological, philosophical impossibilityIn today’s Fiver: Russia, Him, England’s referendum chat, and super St Pauli
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Needle doesn’t even nearly cover itIn today’s Fiver: salted herrings, trouser touch-ups, and pod fan fiction
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An unwise game of Call My BluffToday: Bother at Euros, bother for Brazil and age bothers John Arne Riise
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Make like French transport labourers and throw a spanner in the worksIn today’s Fiver: Euro 2016, brave fans, and popular bongo pleasure sticks
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Plenty of entertaining big talkIn today’s Fiver: Euro 2016 predictions, pesky champions and much more
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Brazenly flaunting his pins and blithely holding some paperIn today’s Fiver: Two James Milners, SpongeBob, a tribute to Stephen Keshi and #ItsColombiaNotColumbia
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Some unspecified but no doubt bantertastic forfeitIn today’s Fiver: England’s Euros countdown, a settlement, and Dulwich Hamlet
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Po' Sammy LeeIn today’s Fiver: Fleecing Southampton, ooyah!, �lvaro Morata’s interrail pass and overpriced football shirts
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As permanent as the White Cliffs of Dover and nearly as mobileIn today’s Fiver: Mr Roy outsmarts Europe, Pepe’s salty tears, a Charlton fan looking for love and New Fiver
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Stripped away quicker than He can whip off his shirtIn today’s Fiver: Mesut Özil goes a bit Top Gear, the Championship goes manager crazy and Fiver letters goes meta
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Completing a Panini sticker album with crayon-drawn stickmenIn today’s Fiver: Robert Lewandowski’s dog, nuggets of fascination and Hooijdonk-related nerdvana
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All for one and one for allIn today’s Fiver: happy birthday Marco, a miffed postman’s Mr 15% and José’s promise of peace and harmony in Manchester
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Portuguese manager signs three-year dealIn today’s Fiver: José Mourinho, Carlos Carvalhal and, well, Skeletor
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The metaphorical laundry basketIn today’s Fiver: Unicodes, ASCII art and Liverpool’s returns policy
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Permission to administer a potent enemaIn today’s Fiver: Rafa BenĂtez, Botswana and booze, plus Ed Balls punctuation
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Devilry in this glaring lack of detailIn today’s Fiver: Manchester United, Eric Cantona, Sol Campbell and more
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Reduced to the status of buffoonish imbecile for sending helpful video clipsToday: cackling fiendishly through steepled fingers, an historical reenactment of Scotland fans’ dismantling of Wembley in 1977 and Lukaku’s knowing head
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The lowest point for cinema since Threat Level MidnightToday: a wheezing Liverpudlian who can trap a ball further than most can kick it, a healthier Villa Park and �tough places to go’ continued
