Versailles: episode by episode
John Crace recaps the racy French drama
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Un bal masqué bizarre; mort by épée and plus par le poison. Véritablement, il y a des dark forces at work
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Mon dieu! What with tout le torture, les plotteurs and les attempted meurtres, Versailles is now about as sexy as Robot Wars
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Le conspiracy est arrivé! Meanwhile, le roi is throwing shapes in a laudanum-fuelled delirium pendant his frère is sobbing parce-que his evil lover is about to be torturé for treason. Stupidité runs dans la famille, évidemment
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Despite les hangings, les après-diner orgies and le roi’s dysfunction éréctile, almost rien happened. Off avec leur têtes!
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Not-Quite-So-Bad Philippe has returned from the guerre with PTSD – but even he’s finding things rather boring
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Louis suffers sleepless nights and throws post-coital strops after his brother becomes a war hero. Minion, bring the Sun King some Valium!
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The romp-athon is long gone and the Sun King is getting down to serious political business like staring at himself in mirrors
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The promise of gratuitous sex, violence and historical accuracy is proving as limp as Louis’ locks. I feel like I’ve been had
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This demented and sumptuously risible tale is perfect for viewers who prefer their 17th-century French politics served with plenty of boobs
Versailles recap: la finale – tout le monde has gone ape-merde!