Batgirl

Batman XXX: A Porn Parody (2010)

Actors: Axel Braun (director), Tori Black (actress), Kimberly Kane (actress), Andy San Dimas (actress), Alexis Texas (actress), Axel Braun (producer), Axel Braun (writer), Dale DaBone (actor), James Deen (actor), James Deen (actor), Ron Jeremy (actor), Alec Knight (actor), Dale DaBone (actor), Randy Spears (actor), Evan Stone (actor),

Plot: Heiress Lisa Carson, girlfriend to Bruce Wayne, is kidnapped by the Riddler. A call on the bat-phone summons Batman and Robin to police headquarters. A flick of the switch hidden in a bust of Shakespeare, the wall opens up and it's, "To the bat-poles". "Atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed", the bat-mobile roars out of the bat-cave and the familiar animated titles roll. It's all here in this parody of the 60's TV series, Alfred, Commissioner Gordon, and Chief O'Hara along with a trio of arch-villains, Joker, Catwoman, and the Riddler. There's even the obligatory celebrity poking his head out a window as the Dynamic Duo scale the side of a building. But this is a porn parody, so there's also lots of hostage-on-villain, villain-on-crimefighter, and crimefighter-on-crimefighter sex. Cringe as Lisa "negotiates" with her captor for better accommodations . Marvel as the Caped Crusader does the Bat-tusi at a discotheque before succumbing to a scopolamine mickey in his fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice, placing him at the mercy of the Riddler's moll, Molly. Their passions aroused after spying on the Joker with his two molls, watch as Robin shows Batgirl why he's called Boy Wonder. Will Robin and Batgirl manage to rescue Batman and his alter-ego's girlfriend or will they, too, fall into the clutches of this triumvirate of evil? Will the Joker, the Riddler, and Catwoman be able to suppress their separate agendas and together finally dispatch the Dark Knight? Well it wouldn't be a faithful parody without a cliffhanger ending.

Keywords: anal-sex, batman, batman-spoof, campy, facial, hardcore, parody, porn-parody, sex, sex-comedy
Genres: Adult, Comedy,

Quotes:

[first lines]::Dick: Gosh, Bruce, I'm stuck!

The Riddler: Riddle me this, Miss Carson. What is the difference between you and Bruce Wayne's bank account? There is no difference, you both peak his interest.

Dick: Bruce, did your hear that?::Bruce: Yes, and judging by the time of day, it's probably just Alfred groping Aunt Harriet.::Dick: Holy Viagra!

Comm. Gordon: The Riddler! He's kidnapped Lisa Carson, the famous heiress. That pompous, worldly master of foul play.

Comm. Gordon: The devil with pride, Chief, there's only but one man living who can stop him. Whoever he may be behind that mask of his, our only hope is the Caped Crusader.

Bruce: To the Bat-poles!

Robin: Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed.::Batman: Roger. Ready to move out.

The Riddler: Silly... silly... silly girl. The kind of ransom I want, your father cannot pay. Riddle me this, Miss Carson. When is cheese bad for a mouse?::Lisa Carson: When... it's... in a trap?::The Riddler: Exactly, and you, Miss Carson, are my cheese, and Batman is my big fat rat.

Lisa Carson: Well this bed looks awfully uncomfortable. Don't you have any better accommodations? I would be *very* appreciative.

The Riddler: Riddle me this. When is a pussy like a flower?::Lisa Carson: When?::The Riddler: When it has two lips. [laughs maniacally]

Batman's Gonna Get Shot in the Face (2006)

Actors: Larry Longstreth (director), Larry Longstreth (editor), Larry Longstreth (actor), Larry Longstreth (writer), Larry Longstreth (producer), Aaron Longstreth (actor), Andy Gasper (actor), Jacob Drake (producer), Jacob Drake (director), Jacob Drake (editor), Vince Bruno (actor), Clint George (writer), Clint George (actor), Nicholas D'Amico (actor), Clarissa Paciotti (actress),

Plot: The boys from Bullcrank.com have chosen a new target: The Dark Knight himself! We all know him, but do we really KNOW him? Superman, Robin, Nightwing, Wonder Woman, and other classic superheroes take us on an inside look at the man they call "Batman".

Keywords: dc-comics, nightwing, robin-the-boy-wonder, superhero
Genres: Comedy, Short,

Return to the Batcave: The Misadventures of Adam and Burt (2003)

Actors: Julie Newmar (actress), Julie Newmar (actress), Scott L. Schwartz (actor), Adam West (actor), Jason Marsden (actor), Lee Meriwether (actress), Cesar Romero (actor), Curtis Armstrong (actor), Paul A. Kaufman (actor), Carl Ciarfalio (actor), Jason Marsden (actor), Frank Gorshin (actor), Burgess Meredith (actor), Paul A. Kaufman (producer), Betty White (actress),

Plot: Adam West and Burt Ward are taken on a crazy adventure when the Batmobile is stolen from a car museum and they must track down the thief and return it. After solving a puzzle, they realize that the clues to finding the fiend who stole the Batmobile are hidden in their past. During the search, they flashback to their three seasons in tights, including their many sexual escapades. Ultimately they find the Batmobile, but get caught in the villain's lair. Tied to dynamite, will Adam and Burt get out in time? Tune in next time...same bat time...same bat channel!!

Keywords: behind-the-scenes, cape-the-garment, character-name-in-title, colon-in-title, fame, historical-event, lifting-an-adult-into-the-air, lifting-male-in-air, lifting-someone-into-the-air, name-in-title
Genres: Action, Comedy,
Taglines: Holy reunion, Batman!

Quotes:

Adam West: [after driving all night to the Arizona border in the search for the Batmobile] I think the clue is in our past, somewhere...::Burt Ward: What's this? [removes flyer from under the car's windshield wiper]::Adam West: ...we still have to find it.::Burt Ward: [reads flyer] Hey Adam, look. The Highway to Arizona Bar is having a Happy Hour. Great place. Just down the street from the car museum.::Adam West: [grabs flyer and reads it with stunned disbelief] You... you... you *knew* about that place?::Burt Ward: [not getting it] Yeah. Why?::Adam West: [aggravated] Oh!::Burt Ward: [thinks about it and realizes they've driven all night for nothing] Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

Adam West: [after meeting on the set for the first time] Why don't we take some time and discuss our approaches to the role?::Burt Ward: Well, I just plan on saying my lines. [sees looks of surprise on faces of West and director] Is there more to it than that?::Adam West: [trying to put it delicately] Uhhh, well, yeah. Maybe a little

Adam West: [reading an invitation left on his front door] Alfred! I need you! [opens closet] Ah, what to wear? [sees one suit] Eh, too flashy. [sees another one] Too stuffy. [sees another one] Too formal. [comes across his old Batman costume] Too retro.::Jerry the Butler: [patiently after coming into the room] It's not Alfred, Mister West. It's Jerry. Alfred was the guy on the tv-show.::Adam West: There's a charity event at the car museum tonight. It seems I'm expected.::Jerry the Butler: [reads invitation] A little last minute, isn't it?::Adam West: Charity doesn't punch a clock, my friend.::Jerry the Butler: I guess you'll be needing your tuxedo.::Adam West: Nooo. I think something a little more in keeping with the times. Something a little less formal. Something... Clooneyish.

[Adam and Burt are sitting in the Batmobile at the charity event]::Burt Ward: Wow. You know, it seems like almost yesterday.::Adam West: Almost thirty-five years Burt. Time tumbles by.::Burt Ward: You know I forget what some of these buttons do.::Adam West: I wouldn't touch those if I were...::[Burt presses a button and oil slick sprays out onto the crowd]::Burt Ward: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Sorry, I didn't know it was loaded.::Adam West: That's why they usually left the driving to me.

Valet parker: Hey, if you're looking for the Batmobile, it went that way.::Adam West: [noticing he's wearing an eye patch] You have a sharp eye, my friend.

[Adam and Burt are about to fight four henchman at the Arizona Bar]::Burt Ward: Well?::Adam West: I say we fight our way out like we always did.::Burt Ward: We had stuntmen then. Even if mine was always on a coffee break.

Sexy fan: Can I get an autograph, too?::[exposes a portion of her left breast for Adam to sign on]::Adam West: You know this is a... permanent marker.::Sexy fan: Good. I hope it lasts forever.

[after Adam disarms a bomb]::Burt Ward: Good thing that bomb was a fake.::[the bomb explodes and Burt is sent flying out of the cave by the blast, Adam walks out unharmed]::Burt Ward: How come you didn't get burned?::Adam West: Stuntman.::Burt Ward: [disgusted] Dang!

[Adam and Burt are at a diner. Burt reads a menu]::Burt Ward: Holy lunch specials! Look at this.::Adam West: It appears to be a menu, Burt. Not an unusual thing in a place like this.::Burt Ward: But look what's *on* the menu, or rather *who*. A "Burgess Burger... "::Adam West: What?::Burt Ward: "Gorshin Franks and Beans... " "Cesar Romero Salad... " "Vincent Fries... " They even have drinks. Look, a "Julie New-Martini." [Burt hands Adam the menu and Adam reads it]::Adam West: "Art Chili Con Carney... " "Zsa Zsa Gabor... " "Liberace... " All these people disguised as daily specials!::Burt Ward: Almost every actor who played a villain our characters battled.::Adam West: Battled? Yes, and triumphed over. Any one of them could still be harboring a grudge.::Burt Ward: Adam, they're only actors.::Adam West: I'm sure they'd like us to think so, Burt. But there's more here than meets the eye. [Adam and Burt look around suspiciously] Very odd.::Burt Ward: What's that?::Adam West: [checking his watch] It's time for an act break, but that voice is strangely absent.::Burt Ward: *He* must be on a break.::Adam West: Possibly. But now that he's not here, I miss him.

[after the Batmobile's been stolen and leaves fire-tire tracks]::Charity Event Host: The Batmobile's been stolen.::Adam West: [holding up his car key] Using my key.::Burt Ward: Holy tire tracks! Look, they go from two to one. It went out on two wheels. That fiend.::Adam West: He may be a fiend, but he's an excellent driver.

The Prime Gig (2000)

Actors: Shay Cunliffe (costume designer), Amber Benson (actress), Wallace Shawn (actor), Vince Vaughn (actor), Pat Healy (actor), Jason Sklar (actor), Julia Ormond (actress), Tom Wright (actor), Randy Sklar (actor), Stephen Tobolowsky (actor), Brian George (actor), George Wendt (actor), Ed Harris (actor), Raymond Bulinski (miscellaneous crew), Francie Brown (miscellaneous crew),

Plot: Pendelton "Penny" Wise is a smooth-talking con-artist who makes a living by scamming people with phoney travel comp vacations over the phone when, desperate for more fast cash, he's called to work for a shady, veteran con businessman, named Kelly Grant, in selling property for a gold mine over the phone, which takes a turn when Penny begins a relationship with Grant's mistress Caitlin, where Penny throws common sense and caution to the wind to woo her, while we wonder who is scamming who here.

Keywords: arrested-development, con-artist, con-game, disabled-person, gold-mine, greed, independent-film, private-jet, salesman, surprise-ending
Genres: Drama,
Taglines: This con artist has just broken the number one rule: never trust another con artist. Too much is never enough.

Quotes:

Gene: How many deals did you get?::Penny: Five::Gene: Five? Today? You got in at ll:30.::Penny: It's not me, Gene, it's the gift. You can't fight that sort of thing - you can't fight the gift.

Penny: Get your Balls out of your wife's purse and write me a fucking check.

Caitlin Carlson: Am I just going to be another girlfriend waiting for a phone call?::Penny: No one said anything about phone calls.

Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero (1998)

Actors: Efrem Zimbalist Jr. (actor), Mary Kay Bergman (actress), Michael Ansara (actor), Neil Ross (actor), Neil Ross (actor), Neil Ross (actor), George Dzundza (actor), Brian George (actor), Neil Ross (actor), Bob Hastings (actor), Dean Jones (actor), Michael Ansara (actor), Robert Costanzo (actor), Carl Lumbly (actor), Mary Kay Bergman (actress),

Plot: Mr. Freeze is living in the arctic with his cryogenically-frozen wife. When a submarine destroys her containment capsule, he has to find someone to "donate" a new heart for her. His search turns up one donor with the right blood type: Barbara (Batgirl) Gordon. Her kidnapping sends Batman and Robin on a hurried chase to free her in time.

Keywords: action-hero, action-heroine, based-on-comic, based-on-comic-book, black-comedy, boyfriend-girlfriend-relationship, brawl, buddy, butler, cape
Genres: Action, Animation, Crime, Drama, Sci-Fi, Thriller,

Quotes:

Richard 'Dick' Grayson: Thank you, Alfred. I don't know what we would do without you.::Alfred Pennyworth: Frankly, neither do I.

Commissioner James 'Jim' Gordon: Come on, people! A guy in a wierd suit with two polar bears can't be too hard to spot!

Barbara Gordon: You don't need to put somebody under for a blood transfusion! [pause, realizes] It's *more* than that, isn't it?

Holy Batmania (1989)

Actors: Adam West (actor), Adam West (actor), Bruce Lee (actor), Burgess Meredith (actor), Cesar Romero (actor), Bob Kane (writer), Frank Gorshin (actor), Julie Newmar (actress), Burt Ward (actor), Burt Ward (actor), Wil Shriner (actor), Yvonne Craig (actress), Van Williams (actor), Peter R.J. Deyell (actor),

Genres: Short,

Tarzan and the Super 7 (1978)

Actors: Lennie Weinrib (actor), Lennie Weinrib (actor), Lennie Weinrib (actor), Michael Bell (actor), James Doohan (actor), Lennie Weinrib (actor), Michael Bell (actor), Lennie Weinrib (actor), Robert Ridgely (actor), Lou Scheimer (actor), Lou Scheimer (actor), Lou Scheimer (actor), Sid Haig (actor), Michael Bell (actor), Adam West (actor),

Plot: Separate installments of seven groups of adventurers. Along with Tarzan, other episodes featured Web Woman, Batman & Robin, The Freedom Force (Isis, Super-Samurai, Sinbad, Merlin, and Hercules), Micro Woman and Super Stretch, Moray and Manta, and the live-action Jason and the Star Command.

Keywords: character-name-in-title, five-word-title, hercules, mask, merlin-the-magician, number-in-title, sinbad, superhero, tarzan
Genres: Action, Animation, Fantasy,

Batgirl (1967)

Actors: Bob Kane (writer), Neil Hamilton (actor), Adam West (actor), Adam West (actor), Burt Ward (actor), Burt Ward (actor), William Dozier (producer), William Dozier (actor), Yvonne Craig (actress), Yvonne Craig (actress), Tim Herbert (actor), Joe E. Tata (actor),

Plot: At the Gotham City library, Barbara Gordon helps Bruce Wayne find a book on butterflies so he can prove a point to a friend, a millionaire explorer. As Bruce and his youthful ward, Dick Grayson, are leaving they spot the villainous Killer Moth and three of his henchmen and, suspecting they are up to no good, determine to return as their superhero alter-egos, Batman and Robin. While the Caped Crusaders are donning their costumes, the criminal quartet knock out the millionaire, lock Barbara in an alcove and prepare to spirit their victim away. When the Dynamic Duo attempt to capture the crooks, they are encased in Killer Moth's silk cocoon. Is this the end of our Gotham City heroes? And why does a beautiful librarian have a cowl and a cape hanging in a convenient closet?

Keywords: attempted-kidnapping, based-on-comic, batgirl, character-name-in-title, cocoon, dc-comics, librarian, library, millionaire, one-word-title
Genres: Short,

Quotes:

[last lines]::Narrator: Who knows? Is the Dynamic Duo destined to become the Triumphant Trio? Only time will tell us more about this dazzling daredoll!

Dick Grayson: Holy apparition!::Batgirl: No, Boy Wonder. I'm Batgirl! You're no longer alone, Caped Crusaders.

Narrator: Our disguised and now titian-haired beauty makes a smashing entrance!

Barbara Gordon: Isn't that your youthful ward, Dick Grayson, talking to the gentleman at the table?

Bruce Wayne: You're new here, aren't you?::Barbara Gordon: Yes, I just started working here recently, but it isn't like we're complete strangers, Mr. Wayne.::Bruce Wayne: Oh?::Barbara Gordon: I'm Commissioner Gordon's daughter.

[first lines]::Narrator: Gotham City, like any other large metropolis, abounds in girls of all shapes and sizes - debutantes, nurses, stenographers... and librarians.