Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free (2008)

The King of Town, has made a decidedly tyrannical move. An e-mail tax, which resulted Strong Bad under a house arrest (with an explosive collar locked around his neck that detonates if he goes outside the his house). Strong Bad isn't taking this measure likely as he must convince other "countries" to form an alliance at Strong Badia to take down the King of Town.

Keywords: alliance, e-mail, house-arrest, mexican-wrestler, online-cartoon, parody, sequel, surrealism, tax, toilet-humor

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[Strong Bad arrives at Pompomerania]::Strong Bad: [narrating] Pompomerania: exotic land of enchantment, mystery and ladies' drink specials on Tuesday nights! I quickly made my way to a trendy pwahty cloughb in the nation's capital... [he looks at the camera and repeats the line, "A trendy pwahty cloughb"]... for a summit with their pop-o-matic prime minister.::[He walks up to Bubs, tending the bar]::Bubs: Hey, Strong Bad!::Strong Bad: [shocked] Bubs? You're the leader of Pompomerania?::Bubs: Heck, no! I'm just tending bar and doing some occasional translational work. And I'm definitely not embezzling thousands in cash from the club!::Strong Bad: How sweet of you.

[Strong Bad arrives at a stone bridge]::Strong Bad: [narrating] Next on the itinerary of doom: the savage, war-like people of Country! [He sees the flag of Country, which is simply the word "Country" written on a plain white fabric] "Country"? Aww, man, sounds like Strong Mad's gettin' held back another year. And his finger-painting had improved so much.

[Strong Bad has burned the flag, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights of Strong Sad's Bleak House with a cigarette lighter]::Strong Bad: Let the occupation begin!::Strong Sad: Well, you can burn whatever you want, but you'll never put out the fire in my people's hearts!::Strong Bad: Ah, a resistance movement. How quaint. I trust you've heard of my Secret The Cheat? [the Cheat enters, brandishing a pair of nail clippers and a second cigarette lighter]::Strong Sad: All right, I give up! I'll be usurped by Strong Badia.::Strong Bad: Today, Blecch House; tomorrow, the wor...::Strong Sad: Can I at least be your cultural adviser?::Strong Bad: As long as that doesn't mean you follow me around everywhere and waste my time trying to talk to me.::Strong Sad: Actually, that's exactly what it means.

Marzipan: Homestar, I told you I don't like you having all your friends over to watch the game and plan paramilitary operations without asking me first.::Homestar Runner: Oh, you granola bars are all the same! Except for the ones with chocolate chips! You enjoy your freedom to not wash your hair, and play hackey sack, but aren't willing to put an orange bowl on your head, and wave a spoon around!::Marzipan: [very frustrated] Okay, that is it, Homestar. We are THROUGH!::Homestar Runner: Good!::Marzipan: Fine!::Homestar Runner: Better! Your side is East Marzistar, and my side is East Homezipan! Midway along the border we'll set up Checkpoint The Cheat.::Marzipan: Why don't you just make your own country at your house?::Homestar Runner: No way! There's a squirrel in the attic that I sometimes think is a spooky ghost!::Marzipan: [walking off] Whatever!

[Homestar spins the Draft Wheel to select Coach Z as a recruit, but it fails]::Homestar Runner: Well, the draft didn't work, Strong Bad. Only one thing left to do: clone an army of mutant super-soldiers.::Strong Bad: No, Homestar, we... [he is quickly taken by surprise] Wait. That was an option? How come you come up with the unbelievably cool ideas only AFTER I'm committed to this one?

[Homestar details to Marzipan the siege of the King of Town's castle in the style of a Ken Burns-directed documentary]::Homestar Runner: My dearest Marzipan, the siege on the castle continues. We are forever surrounded by the brown stench of war and the constant beige screaming. Always the beige screaming. We have suffered great losses. The Cheat was the first to turn tail and join the enemy, followed closely by the traitorous Coach Z, which, incidentally, is his new rap name. I've done things I'm not proud of. I can only dream of the day when this madness ends and I can return to your "arms" once again. Your lovable cuddliness, Homestar Runner.::Marzipan: [clearly upset] Don't be stupid, Homestar.::Homestar Runner: Okay.::Marzipan: The siege last five minutes and that was a week ago. It was like the King of Town *wanted* to give up.::Homestar Runner: The Homestarmy sure showed him a thing or twelve!::Marzipan: Whatever. I just wanted to tell you *again* to pick up your stupid draft wheel from my house. I need the yard for my Down With The King rally. Now I'm going back town to protest you/everything you stand for.::[She leaves in a huff]::Homestar Runner: Okay, Marzipan! Call me!

[Strong Bad has put all of the Homsartifacts into a pylon at the Homsar Reservation in order to speak to Homsar]::Strong Bad: [to Homsar about the pylon] How does that Popsicle stand work anyway?::Homsar: [deep voice] You have reassembled the sacred elemental items of collection. Ordinarily, you would have to face a punishingly difficult final dungeon and disappointing end cutscene. But the ancient prophecy foretold of a young boy that would one day come to usher in a new era of...::Strong Bad: [annoyed] All right, shut up, filibuster. Never would've asked if I'd known you were such a windbag.

[Strong Bad has successfully taken over the King of Town's castle]::Strong Bad: [annoyed] Oh, how could I have known being King of Town would suck so many eggs? Wait, how *couldn't* I have known?::Strong Sad: There, there, my liege. That emptiness you feel inside? I want you to take that, and cram it full of chimichangas!

Coach Z: No taxin' without representin'!

[Strong Bad, having been freed from his house arrest, gathers the other Homestar characters in Strong Badia]::Strong Bad: Friends and losers, my long incarceration has taught me that we can never be truly free until we reject the fat-thority of The King of Town. Hencetoforthwith, I shall only refer to him as the Of Town. As of today, Strong Badia is its own independent nation!::[everyone gasps]::Strong Bad: The Cheat, if you will...::[the Cheat turns on a boom box and organ music plays as Strong Bad stands in front of a giant version of the Strong Badia flag]::Strong Bad: We should all live in a place where we can be free! Free to pick our friends, free to pick our noses, and, most importantly, free to pick our friends' noses!::[the Strong Badia national anthem plays]::Strong Bad: That's why I, Strong Bad of the mighty tighty-whities, declare war on the Of Town! Who's with me?::[there is no answer, save for a howling wind; everyone has deserted him, save for The Cheat]::Strong Bad: ...Where'd everybody go?::The Cheat: [the Cheat noises]::Strong Bad: *Seceded*? They can't do that! *I'm* the only one who gets his own country!