We made it. The end of the longest election campaign in nearly 50 years is in sight, and now's the time to reward our determined apathy with a stiff drink.
And where celebrations are concerned, we have one distinct advantage over the pollies who are desperate to represent us – we can drink whatever we want! No fear of media analysis, no hoards of photographers and journos scrutinising our every sip.
Of course, no Australian politician would be caught dead sipping some elitist, hoity-toity cocktail while on the campaign trail (well, maybe Turnbull could pull it off). After all, drinking a traditional, foreign-owned macro-lager with some common folk at the pub is what the undecided voters want to see (especially if it's sculled in one go).
So to celebrate our good fortune, here's a few campaign-inspired cocktails to round off the election.
I've kept these tasty recipes fairly simple by looking back to a time when temperance and prohibition dominated the social and political landscape. And where possible, I've opted for local products as well, because, let's face it, the tax coffers are in need of some replenishment.
All of the ingredients are available at good bottle shops as well, if you'd like to play along at home.
Income Tax Cocktail
This recipe actually dates from an early 20th century cocktail known as the Bronx, with the key difference being the addition of some bitters. But like most tax policy, pretty much everything else about it is contested. It's also not as fruity and light as appearances would suggest, and the more you analyse it, the more bitter and complex it becomes.
Ingredients
60 ml Four Pillars Rare Dry Gin
10 ml Maidenii Sweet Vermouth
10 ml Maidenii Dry Vermouth
25 ml fresh squeezed orange juice
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Method
Pour all ingredients into a cocktail mixer with ice. Shake and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with orange.
The Australiano
Nothing quite says 'Australia' like a drink that relies on a cocktail called an Americano for its guiding principle. But that logic wouldn't wash with someone like our proudly nationalistic deputy Prime Minister, Barnaby Joyce, who thrives on telling upstart yanks and their illegal arrivals to get stuffed. I know the ingredients sound suspiciously foreign, but I can assure you these products use native Australian botanicals and are 100 per cent Australian-owned and produced.
Ingredients
40 ml The Italian 'Bitter Orange' Adelaide Hills Distillery
30 ml Maidenii Sweet Vermouth
Capi Soda Water
Method
Pour The Italian and the vermouth into a glass over ice, top with soda and stir.
Clean and Green
Looking to toast what's shaping up to be a solid election for the Greens? I've got just the drink – Belgrove Rye Whisky from Tassie. Peter Bignell's Belgrove Distillery is almost certainly the greenest in the world. The operation is effectively carbon neutral and powered with spent fryer oil from local restaurants that's converted into biodiesel. But forget about fancy mixology. Cocktail making is seriously wasteful and unsustainable. So forget mixers (massive carbon foot print there), forget ice (think of the energy needlessly wasted in freezing ice and then keeping it frozen!), and I'd even think twice about adding water unless it's been recycled and treated.
Ingredients
30 ml Belgrove Rye Whisky
Method
Pour into a glass. Drink. Repeat as necessary.
Hanky Panky
Remember the reason this miserably long campaign was forced upon us in the first place? Me neither. Something about corruption in the construction industry? Union hanky-panky? Appropriately, Fernet Branca has been described as the bully of the cocktail world – it tends to gang up on anything it's mixed with. So I decided to corrupt this original 1920s recipe, which can be traced back to Ada Coleman at The Savoy's American Bar in London, and swap in some rye whiskey to break the rules and balance out the bitterness of the whole. Just because I can and no-one can stop me.
Ingredients
45 ml rye whiskey (a bolder, punchier rye like Rittenhouse would be ideal)
45 ml Maidenii Sweet vermouth
1 barspoon Fernet Branca
Method
Stir all the ingredients and strain into a chilled glass. Garnish with an orange rind.
The Last Word
Finally, a punchy, vibrant drink for all the independents out there, because there's a fair chance they might have the last word if the numbers are tight.
Ingredients
20 ml gin (a quality, independent Aussie craft gin, naturally)
20 ml freshly squeezed lime juice
20 ml green Chartreuse
20 ml Maraschino liqueur (Luxardo, ideally)
Method
Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a cocktail glass.
Got an election tipple of your own? Let us know in the Comments section.
A professional barman in one of Australia's most revered whisky establishments, Luke McCarthy has also travelled the world to learn more about the spirits he serves. The result is two parts drinks culture and one part global trends, served with a dash of critical assessment.
Follow Luke McCarthy on Twitter
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