"Teddy Hall" - Exponential Wit

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• published: 25 May 2011
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"Teddy Hall" by Exponential Wit Backing Track: "Original Rap" by SFDK Uh oh, it's quarter to one in the morning, that means it's: 1246 which signalled the date when Teddy Hall started to procreate, recreating scenes from the Vikings, raping and pillaging Oxford citizens. It began in the bar around a seven O'Clock, Bombs, beer, more bombs and it's starting to rock, St Edmund of Abingdon won't be disobeyed, so tonight it looks like we're on his booze cruise aided by the olds boys hanging in the bar, who are far from near, but near from far. Their everlasting viewpost on the wall We drink to their health and to the hall, To the end Aularians, before the girls arrive, Who will get their larders out for the guys, A conveyour belt of hot young ladies, But this ain't a strip club, they ain't called Mercedes! We bring the brawn, the girls bring the brain, And the pink champagne, for a drink campaine, Play your cards right and you'll be getting' brain, Cause the Women of the Hall in the sack are insane. Fakers and jokers claim their college is best, Sure they got the money, land, fame and respect. Prime ministers galore, but they're living a charade, Since when did the Norrington tables ever get you laid? Enter Teddy Hall onto the stage, He's been dating ladies since the high middle ages, First pimping school in the western world, We don't claim to be the best we just know it, girls. When we hit the club everyone blows it, Queue jump to the front and free entry to show it, Other college boys, they haven't got a chance, Cause the syndi's on the d floor ready to dance. While they show their moves, a JCR cruise, Chinning pints of gin, it's not liver abuse, They just live to booze, then have to choose, At the end of the night whose room they'll use. You will find no better than Oronhyatekha, Who pillage other college's for a Dean's letter, And although Shanker's Golf Club is a refined class, They still have time to put one in your ass. Break -- Oh and I should probably add -- only 30 cups raised by the rugby lads. It's coming up now to a quarter to one, I've been maccing all night and I haven't been shunned, Time to take this girl home for a home run So remember college boys to witness the fun, Bring your camera along to document the vision Of Teddy Hall crossing the bridge into oblivion, My night don't end in the park you see, My night end's with your boyfriend's girlfriend and me. Fakers and jokers claim their college is best, Sure they got the money, land, fame and respect. Prime ministers galore, but they're living a charade, Since when did the Norrington tables ever get you laid? Enter Teddy Hall onto the stage, He's been dating ladies since the high middle ages, First pimping school in the western world, We don't claim to be the best we just know it, girls.