Whitland

Dogma (1999)

Actors: Jason Lee (actor), Janeane Garofalo (actress), Mark Joy (actor), Scott Mosier (actor), Ethan Suplee (actor), Kevin Smith (actor), Jason Mewes (actor), Ben Affleck (actor), Bud Cort (actor), Matt Damon (actor), Chris Rock (actor), Alan Rickman (actor), George Carlin (actor), Alanis Morissette (actress), Salma Hayek (actress),

Plot: An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is enlisted to prevent two angels from reentering Heaven and thus undoing the fabric of the universe. Along the way, she is aided by two prophets, Jay and Silent Bob. With the help of Rufus, the 13th Apostle, they must stop those who stand in their way and prevent the angels from entering Heaven.

Keywords: 1990s, abortion, abortion-clinic, airport, alternative-history, ancient-history, androgyny, angel, anger, anniversary
Genres: Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy,
Taglines: Get 'touched' by an angel. It Can Be Hell Getting Into Heaven Faith is a funny thing. A New Comic Fantasy from the Director of 'Clerks' and 'Chasing Amy' Prepare Thyself. Look out Below

Quotes:

Rufus: [about the bible] I'm supposed to be in it. I was the thirteenth apostle.

Rufus: I thought she looked familiar.::Bethany: Who?::Rufus: Serendipity.

Rufus: [to Bethany] Let me give you a little inside information about God

Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.::Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.::Jay: Aw fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.::Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.::[a shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay]::Jay: Dude, not all the time.

Bartleby: Ladies and gentlemen, you have been judged guilty of sinning against our almighty God, and I promise you, you shall pay for your trespasses, in blood!::[he rips open his shirt to reveal a silver breastplate]::Bartleby: Wings, now.::Loki: I'm feeling a little exposed here...::Bartleby: DO IT!

Jay: I know they were just kids, but we kicked their fucken pube-less asses!

Bartleby: "I do believe in this." What does that mean?

Azrael: Get me a... Holy Bartender.::Bartender: Never heard of it.::Azrael: Ahh, he doesn't know how to make a Holy Bartender. You do, don't you, Muse?::Serendipity: Don't...::Azrael: Ahh, anybody? No?::[Jay and Silent Bob shake their heads]::Azrael: Well, I know how to make a Holy Bartender...::[Azrael pulls out an uzi, shoots the bartender repeatedly, then laughs hysterically]::Azrael: Get it?::Serendipity: [restrained by the Stygian triplets who have suddenly appeared] Sweet Jesus, Azrael why?::Rufus: Come on, demon, I wanna see you try that shit on someone who's already dead!::Azrael: Now, now, apostle, you maintain that kind of an attitude and you and the barkeep won't be the only corpses in the room. The Christ bitch will join you.::[referring to Bethany]::Jay: [face lights up] Oh... wait. I get it. Holy Bartender! Ha, ha, ha!

Metatron: Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.

Metatron: Wax on, wax off.