‘The Conjuring 2’: They’re heeere — all the scares you’ve seen before

Hey! It’s Great Moments in Haunted House Movies, collected in a double album set called “The Conjuring 2.” More than two hours of spine-chilling entertainment. You loved “The Conjuring” in 2013. Now here’s “2,” with more, more, more of what you adored the first time around.

All your favorites are here!

Creaking doors, mysteriously opening. Slamming doors that lock themselves. Frantic phantasmic pounding on doors that only the brave — or the foolhardy — would dare open.

The spooky swing set, arising from dry-ice mood mist. The haunted TV set, turning on and off by itself, and — added bonus — the haunted clicker, vanishing and reappearing.

The haunted rocking chair, with ghost attached.

The haunted wardrobe, with hidden crawl space behind it.

Noises in the walls. Weird thumps upstairs. Heavy fi-fie-fo footsteps on creaky stairs.

The Thing in the Basement.

The portrait of a fiend, with glowing eyes. They follow you everywhere!

The possessed girl, levitating and rasping in an “Exorcist” voice. You’ll swear it’s Linda Blair.

The screaming.

Oh, the screaming. Introduced in a cut where someone tremulously asks the wicked spirit why are you doing this? “I like to hear them scream.” Tell it, brother.

So much screaming it practically fills one whole side of this fabulous two-disc set. The screams of children. The screams of adults. Individual screams. Group screams. Your ears will ring.

But wait! There’s more!

Included is a bonus track of star Patrick Wilson crooning Elvis’ “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” Why? Who cares? We have to fill out a side.

And still more besides. Christmas carols! “Silent Night” and “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing,” spookily sung. “The Conjuring 2” is set at Christmastime in rainy old London town, making it the perfect gift for the holidays. So act now, before the rush.

Operators are standing by.