Technically Tumblelog

A:	I was at this awful party last night.
A:	Room full of young journalists criticising the government and promoting their own ideas.
A:	Whenever I disagreed with something they just laughed at me and told me I was ignorant.
B:	Ugh. I mean, I love opinionated people, but it's a pain if they're stubborn or ridiculously judgmental.
B:	What are we doing folks, socializing, or measuring our penises?
A:	Measuring penises and comparing who can pee the furthest.
B:	Telling you you don't know how to pee.
B:	Catheters I say. CATHETERS are the way. The ONLY WAY. Only an ignoramus would not pee through a straw.

Chat 1
Notes Why I can't have a duck #25

Me:	We will get a house with a big backyard, and dig up part of it to make a pond...
L:	I think I know why, and I don't like it.
Me:	...so that if a duck follows us home, it can hang out there.
L:	Darling, the duck could be someone's brother, sister, mom or dad. How can you separate it from its duck family and duck friends?
Me:	Don't be silly. I'm not digging up a whole duck pond just for ONE duck. We can let his whole family live there.
L:	I thought you just wanted the one duck.
Me:	Ooh, so I can have the one duck now?
L:	Still no, darling. Still no.

Chat Why I can't have a duck #24

Me:	What if they make better pets than puppies?
L:	I don't want a puppy either.
Me:	This is why I'm trying to convince you to get a duck instead.
L:	How about this -- compromise! -- I will take you to the park on days when the weather is really good, and you can play with the ducks in the pond there. There are LOADS of ducks to play with there.
Me:	That's a good idea. I bet they have babies all the time...
L:	Yes. Good. Now we're both happy.
Me:	...and I can choose one to bring home!
L:	You can't take a duck home from the park. Those ducks belong to the public. It'd be like stealing public property.
Me:	What if we say it followed us home?
L:	No duck wants to follow us home. We don't have a duck pond.

Chat Why I can't have a duck #36

Me:	I think you were put off when I asked for a duck before because I didn't make it clear. I just want a baby duck.
L:	You also wanted a baby human.
Me:	They're not one and the same.
L:	Well which are we getting then? A baby duck or a baby human?
Me:	Both?
L:	You can choose only one.
Me:	Then...
L:	You don't get to choose the duck!
Me:	I never get to choose the duck :(

Chat

Me:	Have you heard of the term 'studmuffin'?
L:	...Is it a muffin they use to breed other muffins?

Photo via betterhappierinspired
Photo via betterhappierinspired
Post via nobaddatesjustgoodstories

Why men need to man up and start rejecting women

If dating has taught me anything, it’s that men are cowards.

I’m sure some women are too, but I...

Post via nobaddatesjustgoodstories
Post via nobaddatesjustgoodstories

Dating: Why women should ALWAYS offer to pay the bill
If you’re a woman, and you didn’t offer to pay for the last date you went on, then shame on...
Post via nobaddatesjustgoodstories
Photoset via dutchster
Photoset via dutchster
Photoset via ampleoftime
Photoset via ampleoftime
Photo via dutchster

beavisnfukhead:

swiftingthrough:

legendary

I reblog this every time

Photo via dutchster
Post via dutchster

sorry:

small-town-equestrian:

so i’ve been taking photos for quite some time now but this

is quite possibly

my fAVORITE PICTURE...

Post via dutchster
Photo via kimlillianjesudasan
Opening very soon! BRATS cafe serving only sausages/hotdogs.
@friendsofbrats
11, Jalan 20/13, Paramount Garden, PJ
#kimdelicious #sausages...
Photo via kimlillianjesudasan
Photo via dutchster

awkwardrabbit:

How am I going to tell them I lost my job.

I have a wife, and 3 children

3 Children.

Photo via dutchster