Machete (2010)
Actors:
Jessica Alba (actress),
Lindsay Lohan (actress),
Matthew Tompkins (actor),
Danny Trejo (actor),
Cheech Marin (actor),
Tom Savini (actor),
Gary Teague (actor),
Robert De Niro (actor),
Steven Seagal (actor),
Jason Douglas (actor),
Jeff Fahey (actor),
Stacy Keach (actor),
Don Johnson (actor),
Michelle Rodriguez (actress),
Rose McGowan (actress),
Plot: The highly skilled Federale Machete is hired by some unsavory types to assassinate a senator. But just as he's about to take the shot, he notices someone aiming at him and realizes he's been set up. He barely survives the sniper's bullet, and is soon out for revenge on his former employers, with the reluctant assistance of his brother Cheech Marin, who has become a priest and taken a vow of nonviolence. If you hire him to take out the bad guys, make sure the bad guys aren't you!
Keywords: 2000s, 35-mm-camera, action-hero, aikido, ambulance, american-citizenship, anti-hero, arrest, arsenal, assassin
Genres:
Action,
Crime,
Thriller,
Taglines: He was given an offer he couldn't refuse... They just fucked with the wrong Mexican! If you're going to hire Machete to kill the bad guy, you better make damn sure the bad guy isn't you! He knows the score. He gets the women. And he kills the bad guys! Yesterday He Was a Decent Man Living a Decent Life. Now He is a Brutal Savage Who Must Slaughter to Stay Alive. A Pissed Off Mexican Out to Settle a Score Lindsay Lohan as The Sister Robert De Niro as The Senator Danny Trejo as Machete Michelle Rodriguez as She
Quotes:
Padre Benito del Toro: It's not safe for you to be here.::Machete: I'm not looking for "safe".::Padre Benito del Toro: No, I mean it's not safe for me for you to be here! [Padre quickly blesses Machete] I absolve you of all your sins. Now, get the fuck out!
Machete: Machete don't text.
Sartana: We didn't cross the border; the border crossed us!
Sartana: I thought Machete don't text.::Machete: Machete improvises.
Padre Benito del Toro: [offers Machete a cigar] Cuban?::Machete: Mexican.
Von Jackson: There's nothing I'd like more than to see that Mexican dance the Bolero at the end of a rope.
Booth: Machete sent me a text.::Osiris Ampanpour: What did it say?::Booth: "You just fucked with the wrong Mexican."
Sartana: Well, there's the law and there's what's right. I'm gonna do what's right.
Senator McLaughlin: [after shooting a Mexican trying to cross the border] Welcome to America.
Torrez: You're Machete's girl. I know, cause you're his type.::Sartana: What type is that?::Torrez: Dead.
Desperado (1995)
Actors:
Robert Rodriguez (producer),
Robert Rodriguez (editor),
Steve Buscemi (actor),
Quentin Tarantino (actor),
Danny Trejo (actor),
Robert Rodriguez (director),
Joaquim de Almeida (actor),
Salma Hayek (actress),
Carlos Gómez (actor),
Mike Moroff (actor),
Enrique Iglesias (actor),
Antonio Banderas (actor),
Cheech Marin (actor),
Miguel Gurza (miscellaneous crew),
Robert Rodriguez (writer),
Plot: With this sequel to his prize-winning independent previous film, "El Mariachi," director Robert Rodriquez joins the ranks of Sam Peckinpah and John Woo as a master of slick, glamorized ultra-violence. We pick up the story as a continuation of "El Mariachi," where an itinerant musician, looking for work, gets mistaken for a hitman and thereby entangled in a web of love, corruption, and death. This time, he is out to avenge the murder of his lover and the maiming of his fretting hand, which occurred at the end of the earlier movie. However, the plot is recapitulated, and again, a case of mistaken identity leads to a very high body count, involvement with a beautiful woman who works for the local drug lord, and finally, the inevitable face-to-face confrontation and bloody showdown.
Keywords: action-hero, actor-plays-character-with-same-name, ambush, anti-hero, armored-car, bar, bar-fight, bar-shootout, bare-breasts, bare-chested-male
Genres:
Action,
Crime,
Thriller,
Taglines: He came back to settle the score with someone. Anyone. EVERYONE. When the smoke clears, it just means he's reloading. The explosive new film from Robert Rodriguez
Quotes:
Short Bartender: ¡Matalo! [kill him]::El Mariachi: Not yet.
El Mariachi: You know, it's easier to pull the trigger than play guitar. Easier to destroy than to create.
El Mariachi: [praying] Give me the strength to be what I was, and forgive me for what I am.
Tourist Girl: And, your beer tastes like piss.::Short Bartender: We know.::Tavo: 'Cause we piss in it!::Short Bartender: That's not all!
Pick-up Guy: This reminds me of a joke. This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says, "Now wait, let me get this strait. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?" Customer looks up and says, "That's right." Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet." The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." Pulls out his thing. He's lookin' at the glass, man. He's thinkin' about the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. Thinkin' about his dick. Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass. And then, *foosh*, he lets it rip. And he-he's pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere *except* the fucking glass! Right? Okay. So, bartender, he's laughing his fuckin' ass off. He's $300 richer. He's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Piss dripping off his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He says, "You fucking idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta." Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, 300." And the bartender's like, "What the fuck are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!" The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy."
El Mariachi: Bless me, Father, for I have just killed quite a few men.::Buscemi: No shit!
El Mariachi: Carolina, did I thank you?::Carolina: No.::El Mariachi: I will.
Short Bartender: [nervous] Is there something in the guitar case?::El Mariachi: Yeah.::Short Bartender: What?::El Mariachi: My guitar.
Short Bartender: What do you want?::Buscemi: Beer.::Short Bartender: All I got is piss-warm Chango.::Buscemi: That's my brand. Oh, this is damn good! Say, this is the best beer I've ever had. Actually...::Short Bartender: [ignoring him] You need anything over there?::Buscemi: I'm just glad to be alive right now. I was up a few towns away- you know Saragosa? I was visiting a bar there, not unlike this one. They serve beer, not quite as good as this, but close. And I saw something you wouldn't believe. I'm sitting there, see, small table all by myself. Now this bar, it's full of real low-lives. I mean, not like this place here. No, I mean bad. Like they were up to no good, know what I'm sayin'? Anyway, I'm all by myself, I like it that way. Meanwhile, things are going on... under the table kinds of things. Not too obvious, but, not too secret, either. So, I'm sitting there, and in walks the biggest Mexican I have ever seen. Big as shit. Just walks right in like he owns the place. Now, nobody knew quite what to make of him, or quite what to think. There he was and in he walked. He was dark, too. I don't mean dark-skinned. No, this was different. It was as if he was always walking in a shadow. I mean every step he took towards the light, just when you thought his face was about to be revealed, it wasn't. It was as if the lights dimmed, just for him.
Pick-up Guy: [watching the bar shootout on a surveillance camera] Is that goin' on right now?