There's more than just country music in Branson
BRANSON, MO. • When I told people of my plans to pack up and head to Branson for five days, reaction was mixed, especially among folks who hadn’t visited the Ozarks town in a while — or ever.
With a full itinerary in hand, I was excited. And as I heard more than once on my visit, this isn’t your grandmother’s Branson.
As a kid, I vacationed in Branson with my family a few times, and I have fond memories of our visits (including one when my now-27-year-old brother was barely out of the womb). We rode go-karts at the Track. We saw Jim Stafford’s variety show. We rode the Ducks.
But it was the 2013 documentary “We Always Lie to Strangers” (directed by A.J. Schnack of Edwardsville and David Wilson of Columbia, Mo.) that had piqued my interest in returning. The film depicted a community of talented, hardworking performers living less-than-glamorous showbiz lives, praying for butts to fill the theater seats. (Watch it before you go; it’s on Netflix.)
Tourism brings in more than 7 million visitors annually to the city of just 11,000 residents.
Stafford still has a live show, and go-kart tracks are as ubiquitous as any big city’s Starbucks. But these days, Branson is diversifying its offerings even more to include something for everyone — and to attract even more tourists.
The city has embarked on an ambitious project known as Spirit of 76, a multimillion-dollar revitalization of a five-mile stretch of Highway 76, the bustling strip lined with theaters, hotels and attractions. In addition to enhancements such as lighting and landscaping, the project will improve traffic flow and parking and make the area more walkable. It’s being carried out in chunks, with completion set for 2024.
In time for visitors this summer, though, you’ll be able to take a ride in the 15-story Ferris wheel that once called Chicago’s Navy Pier home. The iconic structure can hold 240 passengers in its 40 gondolas and is being installed at the Track Family Fun Park on Highway 76 as part of the company’s 35th anniversary.
Also slated for summer:
• Bigfoot on the Strip, a 200-foot tower that will offer three different experiences for thrill-seekers: a freefall, a saddle-swing ride and a more tame rotating ride that gives a 360-degree view of the city. A food-truck court will also be part of the $10 million development.
• Fritz’s Adventure, at the site of the old Silver Fountain Inn, will feature three stories of tunnels, slides, swings, zip lines, climbing walls, a ropes course and more obstacles for adventurers of all kinds.
• A Mountain Coaster, called the “The Runaway,” will be Missouri’s first alpine coaster. It is scheduled to open July 15.
Those additions will join an already-diverse selection of nonmusic attractions situated along Highway 76.
A good place to start your visit to Branson is at Ride the Ducks, which operates a fleet of amphibious vehicles to give passengers a tour of town — on land and water. The Ducks are replicas of the vehicles used in World War II to transport troops and supplies.
The narrated tour lasts a little over an hour and gives a good overview of the town. You’ll roll (or waddle?) through the entertainment district, then check out Table Rock Dam and climb to the top of Baird Mountain before plunging into Table Rock Lake for a look at the Showboat Branson Belle.
While on the crystal-clear lake, passengers can take turns steering the Duck — closely supervised, of course.
For adventures in the air, stop by Parakeet Pete’s Waterfront Zipline and Parakeet Pete’s Steampunk Balloon. Both operate at Branson Landing, the sleek entertainment complex on Lake Taneycomo that’s celebrating 10 years in business. The zip line allows passengers to soar two at a time at around 40 mph, seated, across the lake from an observation deck.
At Parakeet Pete’s Steampunk Balloon, a motorized balloon “basket” carries up to 12 passengers 188 feet into the air. It’s a great way to enjoy a Branson sunset.
These days, there are few things people love more than taking selfies. And vacation selfies? They’re the best. The Hollywood Wax Museum is a playground for the selfie-obsessed.
Inside the 15,000-square-foot museum — it’s the building with King Kong clinging to a faux skyscraper on top — wax figures of celebrities, world leaders and horror-movie characters stand at attention. You can join Forrest Gump on a park bench, cozy up in bed with Hugh Hefner, sit on a cushion with Jeannie in her bottle, stare vacantly into the distance with Taylor Swift or say your I-do’s in a chapel with George Clooney.
But whatever you do, don’t touch the figures. As we toured, a staff member was gently brushing paint onto Julia Roberts’ chest.
How often do the celebs require touch-ups? “All day, every day. It’s a full-time job,” he said.
Nearby, in another building with a distinctive facade, the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Odditorium features more than 450 wacky artifacts, pieces of art and replicas.
In a room filled with human oddities you can see how you measure up to a mannequin of Alton native Robert Wadlow, who stood 8-feet-11-inches tall. Or inspect the green tattoos and split tongue on a figure depicting the Lizard Man.
You also don’t want to miss the world’s largest ball of string (it weighs 6 tons), a room of shrunken heads, a stagecoach constructed of toothpicks and a collection of wishbones.
Music shows
The classic country shows are still around — such as the Baldknobbers Jamboree, which is Branson’s longest continuously running show, and the Presleys’ Country Jubilee, which built the first music theater on Highway 76. But there are also shows you’ll love if country music and folksy humor aren’t your thing.
“Edge of Illusion,” starring the illusionist Reza, formerly of the Branson show “The Revollusionists,” is onstage through Sept. 3 at the Starlite Theatre. (Through summer, the theater also features the Texas Tenors, Billy Dean with Jarrett, the Blackwoods Morning Show and comedy percussionists Buckets N Boards.)
Reza was new to me, but his bio says he’s sold out venues nationwide. It’s easy to see why: The affable young magician — picture a more likeable Criss Angel, complete with swoopy hair and angular features — is fresh and engaging. Much of his show is spent interacting with the audience and encouraging young fans to pursue magic.
His illusions range from simple street magic to more elaborate tricks involving a shipping container, a motorcycle and a sealed box of predictions.
A finale where a helicopter materializes behind a sheet was made less magical, though, when Reza prematurely lifted the sheet, revealing the copter rolling into place onstage.
While Branson shows are family friendly, a lot of them are also family affairs. Just around the bend on Highway 76, six brothers (of 10 total) take the stage at the Mickey Gilley Theatre.
Barry, Kevin, Lynn, Jak, Owen and Curtis Knudsen make up the a cappella group SIX, which began its music career in the 1970s on “Donny & Marie.” A clip from an early TV appearance finds its way into this live show.
In a musical formula that seems to work for a lot of Branson shows, the men of SIX cover Motown, jazz, showtunes, gospel, patriotic tunes and even some Bieber and Coldplay. No musical instruments are used; they produce all the sounds themselves in an impressive display of energy.
If you can’t remember their names, that’s OK; you’ll learn each brother’s wardrobe color instead. Each drives a corresponding color-coded Camaro that you’ll see parked in front of the theater.
The guys’ performance of “Love Times 10,” written for their mother, who died of cancer at age 52, is especially moving.
For dinner and a show with a more upscale feel, head to Table Rock Lake for a cruise on the Showboat Branson Belle. The huge 1880s-style paddlewheeler loops around the lake for a two-hour voyage multiple times daily.
If you can splurge for tickets in Captain’s Row, you should. The row at the front of the balcony has the best seats in the house.
The food in Captain’s Row is also pretty incredible — the best meal of our whole trip. These seats allow diners to select from a premium menu of entrees. The 18-ounce prime rib was perfectly cooked to medium temp, served with a Mediterranean veggie medley, and a juicy chicken plate came with wild rice and vegetables.
After dinner, the show gets underway: a new offering titled “Celebrate!,” featuring comedian/magician Christopher James, male vocal group the ShowMen, vocalist Cassandré Faimon-Haygood, four-man dance troupe Rhythm and a live band, the Rockin’ Dockers.
In what could be a thankless task, the very funny James warmed up the audience by playing the “Yes/No Game.” He questioned audience members onstage, but they weren’t allowed to say yes or no in their answers. It was surprisingly harder than it sounds.
In another interactive bit, an audience member, a young woman from St. Louis, surrendered her cellphone to James for a disappearing act. (It was returned to her safe and sound.)
The pacing of the performances made for a fast-moving show. Cassandré and the ShowMen stayed on their toes with a musical medley of songs from stage and screen. And Rhythm lighted up the stage with a step-dancing act that involved wooden boxes.
Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off” made an appearance, as did Meghan Trainor’s “Lips Are Movin.’ ” (And of course, some gospel and patriotic songs.)
The boat also offers a Princess and Pirate Cruise and a Southern Gospel Music Cruise. And starting May 28, all noon and Sunday cruises will feature aerial violinist Janice Martin, ventriloquist Phil Hughes, magician Aaron Radatz and live band the Castaways.
Every show and attraction in Branson will snap a souvenir picture of you against some digital backdrop. But the one taken on the boat deck, with the lake in the background, is the one to actually buy prints of.
The Branson Belle is believed to be the largest excursion vessel operating in a landlocked waterway, the man-made Table Rock Lake. If you’re using GPS navigation to help you get around, make sure you have an idea of where you’re headed; Siri may be a little confused on the roads leading there.
For a casual meal and a show, stop by Mel’s Hard Luck Diner in the Grand Village, where the waitstaff sings while serving your food.
The diner’s servers also have CDs available for sale on the tables and in the gift shop.
When we visited, Jaci Rae balanced a microphone to belt out Alicia Keys’ “If I Ain’t Got You” while also dropping off a giant Smoke Gets in Your Eyes Burger and fries at our table.
Live theater
Most Branson music shows tend to be of the variety variety. But there are also options for theatrical, Broadway-style entertainment.
Sight & Sound Theatres, which fills a gorgeous state-of-the-art venue that looks to have been plucked right out of the Holy Land, creates the perfect ambiance for its Bible stories. This season, theatergoers are immersed in biblical times with “Moses,” onstage through Dec. 31 (and then March 4-Oct. 20, 2017).
If you’ve never been to a Sight & Sound show, it’s clear you’re in for a treat as soon as you walk into the theater. The stage is panoramic — more than 26,500 square feet, it actually wraps around the audience on three sides.
“Moses” uses cool theatrical effects to create a burning bush, a baby floating down the river and the parting of the Red Sea. Digital projections make realistic cinematic effects such as plagues and crumbling statues.
The cast is also impressive (Fraser Armstrong as Moses, Isaiah Bailey as Pharaoh, Rodney Coe as Aaron, among others), though the program that’s distributed at the show doesn’t list anyone by name. The music is forgettable, but it does its job of moving the story along.
The ushers here also put in strong performances, keeping the aisles clear so no one en route to the restroom gets trampled by actors or livestock.
Sight & Sound offers a one-hour behind-the-scenes tour for just $5. Next time, that’s definitely going on the itinerary.
An actual Broadway musical, “Million Dollar Quartet,” is back this season at Welk Resort Theatre. And the quintessential Branson drama, “Shepherd of the Hills,” continues at the Shepherd of the Hills Old Mill Theatre.
More attractions
A visit to Branson isn’t complete until you spend the day at Silver Dollar City, the 100-acre 1880s-themed park built above the Marvel Cave, its first attraction. In 2015, the park added the kid-friendly Fireman’s Landing to its assortment of coasters, storefronts, restaurants, shows and craftsman demonstrations. Low-key firehouse-themed rides such as Lucky’s Dizzy Dogs and Fire Spotter will give the little ones a thrill, and Firefall — which drops passengers from eight stories — is fun for their grown-ups.
Outlaw Run, which debuted at Silver Dollar City in 2013, is the first and only wood coaster with a double barrel roll. It’s also the only wood coaster to twist upside-down three times, and its top speed of 68 mph makes it the second-fastest wood coaster in the world.
The White Water water park opens for summer May 28. Through May 30, check out the Bluegrass & BBQ. Star-Spangled Summer, featuring the Harlem Globetrotters, runs June 11 to July 24. Enjoy extended ride times July 23-Aug. 7 at Moonlight Madness. And America’s top Southern gospel artists perform at the Southern Gospel Picnic, Aug. 25-Sept. 5.
In March, Branson’s Imax Entertainment Complex unveiled a $1.7 million renovation that makes it one of the largest theaters in the country with Imax laser projection. That’s big news for movie fans; the new system makes for more vivid images onscreen.
Dining
Some of the best food we found was at the Grand Country Buffet at Grand Country Resort. For just $11.99, the Sunday brunch buffet was loaded with breakfast fare, plus fried chicken, meatloaf and a carving station.
Back at Branson Landing, it’s not always easy to eat past 10 p.m. — say, after attending a show. One spot became a late-night refuge while we were in town: Waxy O’Shea’s Irish Pub.
O’Shea’s serves up a big menu of Irish fare late into the night, after most everything else on the Landing has closed. Our favorites were the crispy fish and chips and the piled-high Reuben.
For a preshow meal one evening, we dined on the patio at Big Whiskey’s American Bar & Grill, which adjoins the Hilton Promenade and Branson Landing. We enjoyed a smothered steak with a baked potato and broccoli, and Parmesan chicken with rice pilaf and steamed veggies.
The small chain operates restaurants in the Ozarks and Springfield, Mo.
And late one Friday night, we followed the sounds of “Friends in Low Places” and “Bohemian Rhapsody” to find Ernie Biggs, a dueling-pianos bar that had drawn a lively Landing crowd of bachelorettes and birthday-celebrators.
Just a few blocks away, in Branson’s charming downtown, Clocker’s Cafe is a busy spot for breakfast. And treat yourself with a homemade waffle cone and a couple of creamy scoops at Mr. B’s Ice Cream Parlor & Deli.
If you’re looking to do a little day drinking on the cheap (free), stop by Stone Hill Winery, where visitors can learn about the wine-making process and then stop by the tasting room for a few (or 12) samples.
Be sure to pick up a bottle or two to take back home for the dogsitter.
If you go
Ride the Ducks: 2320 West Highway 76; 1-877-887-8225, ridetheducks.com; $24-$25, $14 for kids 4-11
Parakeet Pete’s Waterfront Zipline: Branson Landing; parakeetpeteszipline.com; $24.95
Parakeet Pete’s Steampunk Balloon: Branson Landing; parakeetpetesballoon.com; $11.95
Hollywood Wax Museum: 3030 West 76 Country Boulevard; hollywoodwaxmuseum.com/branson, 1-417-337-8277; $20, $10 for ages 4-11
Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Odditorium: 3326 West 76 Country Boulevard; ripleys.com/branson, 1-417-337-5300; $14.99, $7.99 for ages 4-12
“Edge of Illusion”: The Starlite Theatre, 3115 West 76 Country Boulevard; starlitetheatre.com, 1-417-337-9333; $19.99, $16 for ages 5-17
SIX: The Mickey Gilley Theatre, 3455 West 76 Country Boulevard; thesixshow.com, 1-877-749-7469; $37, $20 for ages 12-17, $10 for ages 3-11
Showboat Branson Belle: 4800 Mo-165; silverdollarcity.com/showboat, 1-800-475-9370; $51, $25 for ages 4-11 in general seating; $69, $45 for kids in Captain’s Row and Paddle Wheel Club
Mel’s Hard Luck Diner: 2800 West 76 Country Boulevard; melshardluckdiner.com, 1-417-332-0150
“Million Dollar Quartet”: Welk Resort Theatre, 1984 State Highway 165; welkresorts.com, 1-417-337-7469; $39.06-$44.64, one free child per paid adult
“Shepherd of the Hills”: Shepherd of the Hills Old Mill Theatre, 5586 West 76 Country Boulevard; theshepherdofthehills.com, 1-800-653-6288; $37-$42, $18-$21 for ages 4-16
“Moses”: Sight & Sound Theatres, 1001 Shepherd of the Hills Expressway; sight-sound.com, 1-800-377-1277; $45, $19 for ages 3-12
Silver Dollar City: 399 Silver Dollar City Parkway; $61, $59 for ages 62 and up, $50 for ages 4-11; silverdollarcity.com, 1-800-475-9370
Branson’s Imax Entertainment Complex: 3562 Shepherd of the Hills Expressway; bransonimax.com, 1-800-419-4832; $12.50-$19.75
Grand Country Buffet: 1945 West 76 Country Boulevard; grandcountry.com/restaurants, 1-417-335-2434
Waxy O’Shea’s Irish Pub: 235 Branson Landing Boulevard; waxyosheas.com, 1-417-348-1759
Big Whiskey’s American Bar & Grill: 301 Branson Landing Boulevard; bigwhiskeys.com, 1-417-334-4478
Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 505 Branson Landing Boulevard; erniebiggs.com, 1-417-239-3670
Clockers Cafe: 103 South Commercial Street; clockerscafe.com, 1-417-335-2328
Mr. B’s Ice Cream Parlor & Deli: 102 South Second Street; 1-417-336-5735
Insider travel tips
• Hang onto your tickets to save money later. A Ride the Ducks ticket stub, for example, will get you a discount at Dixie Stampede, “Moses,” Ripley’s and more.
• Check the rack of brochures at your hotel. They’re filled with coupons.
• Though traffic can get backed up, especially on Highway 76, we found Branson drivers to be a friendly bunch. Trying to cross the street or merge with traffic? Go ahead.
• If you know what show you want to see, the best seats can be purchased online directly from the theater. There are kiosks and ticket vendors all over town that offer deals, but they could also be selling time shares.
• Need a recommendation for a show, attraction or restaurant? Ask a server or hotel clerk. They’ll know the good spots.
• Branson attractions are family-friendly, and many shows offer free admission to kids.
