John Oliver: If You Think Trump Is Bad, Wait Till You Meet Rodrigo Duterte
The Philippines’ presidential frontrunner, who’s been called the ‘
Trump of the
East,’ enjoys death squads, making light of gang rape, and cracking
Prima Nocta jokes at weddings.
It’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve been treated to a healthy dose of
John Oliver’s razor-sharp wit cutting through the cacophony. And by god, he’s been missed.
Donald Trump, the real estate heir,
Celebrity Apprentice host, and bona fide misogynist, has emerged as the
Republican presidential nominee, following the abrupt exits of opponents
Ted Cruz and
John Kasich—and the even more abrupt exit of
Cruz’s VP pick,
Carly Fiorina.
“
Obviously, the big news here in the
U.S. is that Donald Trump is now the presumptive Republican nominee for president,”
Oliver said on
Last Week Tonight. “That’s right, this sentient circus peanut now holds the future of a major political party in his tiny, raccoon paw-sized hands—which is frankly a little surprising because the
Internet repeatedly tells me I had ‘destroyed’ and ‘eviscerated’ him. Why would they say that if it wasn’t true?”
For those believing the U.S. has become the laughingstock of the world, however, Oliver offered an olive branch:
Rodrigo Duterte.
Yes, the current mayor of
Davao City and frontrunner for president of the
Philippines—their election takes place Monday—is perhaps the only person on the political stage even more outspoken than Trump and, according to Oliver, is “a colorful character, to say the least.”
At a mass wedding recently,
Duterte—taking a page out of
Braveheart—offered himself up to the brides as a wedding gift, announcing from the stage, “I don’t have money to give, but I could give your wives something else—and this is for the wives only
. Men, I’m sorry but you don’t get anything because I’m not a queer.”