I'm a Rower--Rowing Parody of "Fancy" by Sonoma State University

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• published: 15 Sep 2014
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Hello there! No need for any rowing knowledge, here’s what you need to know: -The “coxswain” is the person who steers the boat and yells at rowers (we love em!) - The “stroke rate” is how many strokes are taken per minute - “Pocock” is a brand of elite racing shells (boats) created by the legendary George Pocock - When “we go dock” or “docking” is bringing the boat in off the water -“10k” is a much too long erg (rowing machine) workout - A 2k test is the equivalent of HELL (go try it, it’s fun) - “Novice” are first-year rowers - “Catching a crab” is a horrible experience in which a rower’s oar gets caught under water and slaps the rower in the face/collar bone -Men gamble for the “shirts off their back” and the losing teams give their tanks to the winning crew -“Turnt” = being highly intoxicated/high or both - Starboard and port indicates which side the rower’s oar extends - “Bisweptual” means one can row both starboard and port - “Weigh enough” = stop Lyrics: First things first, I’m a rower (rower) Got the coxswain saying stroke rate should be lower (power down) And you know we row a Pocock So you better take it easy when the days done and we go dock (set the boat) You should want to wear a uni like this Pull it up, pick it out, just like this Cup of this, cup of that, drink that protein Shout out to the mamas bringing snackies for the whole team (thanks!) Lots of fog, on the lake, never race that (never) 10K on the erg, boy you know you better pace that (whaaat) Double days, but it pays, where the coach at? Puke is spillin’, you know you love to taste that Chorus: I’m a rower, you already know Check out my blisters, from my hands, to my toes I’m a rower, gonna win the gold, Wear scarfs to practice, Cuz it’s always really cold Well coach says, “Go do this,” And we’re thinking, “Screw this!” Can’t stand no showers, Blister/shampoo mix Ah man, who farted? We’re just getting started And we done by 7:30 before class even started We eat more food than you know So that our muscles can grow And I swear I’m in the gym so much that I could start my own show Go to bed before 9, so I can wake up on time Sweat pants all day, gotta stay on my grind Now tell me who dat, who dat? That do dat, do dat? Better never drop the boat, I thought you knew that, knew that We the SSU Crew, put our name in BOLD This is for my fellow rowers all around the globe Chorus: I’m a rower, you already know Novice in the fast lane, even though they’re really slow I’m a rower, lungs about to go I can’t feel my legs, and got sweat stains on all my clothes. Bridge: At the hotel, can’t get drunk off the mini bar Race in the morning, so we’ll be waking up at 4. Yeah, keep that 2k time low If it gets any higher the coxswain will blow Oh God, check out those Quads! I know what you’re thinking, it’s not in the arms Catching crabs, how you love that? Get it out and get the boat set Lost the race, now the shirts off you back Check it out, bet you wishing you could touch that So this is why you like it, huh? Get watch a banging sunrise every morning huh Never turnt on the weekends, Better stay in shape because what you already know is… Chorus: I’m a rower, you already know Don’t skip a practice, or you’ll be doing cardio I’m a rower, starboard or port? I’m bisweptual, hand me aannnyy oaarr Who dat, who dat? SSU crew That do dat, do dat, SSU crew Now tell me who dat, who dat SSU crew We rooooooowww Who dat, who dat? SSU crew That do dat, do dat, SSU crew Now tell me who dat, who dat SSU crew We rooooooowww Who dat, who dat? SSU crew That do dat, do dat, SSU crew Now tell me who dat, who dat SSU crew We rooooooowww Weigh-Enough