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Apr 29

Our slave prices are insane! Nobody beats the Wiz!Click for full image

JuanPaul Comments: That expression you get when you realize that you are just cover bait for a bunch of 13 year old geeks.

Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)
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Feb 19

Just like the men who meet at my local golf course... during the middle of the night. Click for full image

Noel Comments: In an ideal world, these would be the UK’s next Eurovision entrants.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.55 out of 10)
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Dec 16

Oh sorry were you whipping me? I fell asleep...Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: “Very well Mistress Raven, I want you to whip me gently until I am hit with my next great cover inspiration. Don’t spare the buttocks. And remember my safe words: poul anderson.”
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.21 out of 10)
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Dec 04

Drill, Baby, Drill!Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: Finally an explanation for the Earth’s molten core. A crucible in a subterranean foundry!
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.76 out of 10)
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May 09

And we are back! Woo hoo! Enjoy all these great covers and pieces of art from Frank!

We keep the devil downstairs... my daughter paints his nails. Click for slightly larger image

I couldn’t help but wonder what this cover art was about: the Cosmic Striptease, or The Devil Downstairs. So I looked within, where I found….
Published 1957

Nothing like a good fedora to make women spontaneously combust!Click for slightly larger image

“Beautiful women were Satan’s main weapon. They made sin look so attractive.”

Wow... the cosmos has some great legs... just legs... they are pretty great... I guess...Click for slightly larger image

“Millions of Earthlings gaped while the Martian show went on.” Apparently the Martians had a pretty good grasp of human anatomy.

Sorry! I picked up my wood from the local store this morning! Try next door! OH... a MOOD merchant... uh be right there.Click for slightly larger image

Further in, for another story titled, “Excitement For Sale!!”
“He was a mood-merchant, a happiness-huckster, peddling dreams from door to door.”

That is... FANTASTIC!Click for slightly larger image

Table of contents so you can see all the authors and cover art credit.

I guess they should have bought mood and dreams from the mood merchant.Click for slightly larger image

I may have to go back and read this one to get the context for, “women were flung heartlessly into space”.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.84 out of 10)
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Mar 19

Blondes... the number one cause of erotic space crashes.Click for full image

OK OK we're lost... someone check the map for a giant naked woman.Click for full UNLEWISED image

Frank Comments: First we have The Star-Crowned Kings a Daw Books publication. I haven’t read it so don’t know what the lady-in-chain has to do with the story. But, I thought, she looks familiar, and I thought I knew where I’d seen her before: Up to the Sky in Ships, a NESFA Press collection of some of A. Bertram Chandler’s short stories. Chandler and Freas were Guests of Honor at that year’s Worldcon, which was the occasion for the book. I guess it was thought that this would be offered to a more adult audience and so the model got to stand up for this painting, so we could all see that the lady-in-chain really is a blonde.
Star Crowned Kings published 1975
Up to the Sky in Ships published 1982

It’s dos-a-dos like an Ace Double and if you flip it over you see the cover for the other collection of shorts in the book, this one from Lee Hoffman.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.91 out of 10)
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Dec 06

The universe's most elaborate chastity belt. Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:That key unlocks WHAT now??
Published 1993 or 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.37 out of 10)
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Nov 13

Hey that's my loincloth you're wearing on your neck! Give that back!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: No seriously man, I just want to take a little bit off the top!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.09 out of 10)
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Sep 23

I only know how to draw two horses... so.... we'll just duplicate!Click full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Remember that time you walked in on your parents as they were making your brother? Yeah… if you could sum up all those feelings and put it into the expressions of the main characters, who must be wearing caped onesies. Instant classic… though you might need some more therapy afterwards.
Published 1986

Many thanks to Paul D!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.80 out of 10)
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Jul 25

If you think being chained is degrading, try wearing this hat!Click for full image

Scott B’s Art Direction: I want a cover with no Sioux, taking place not in space. Just show one of the evil slaver horsemen, but without a horse. Just give him a radio-technology weapon, a bird mask, and a snappy vest.
Published 1966

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
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