The Beaver (film)

Dale Archdale (2014)

Actors: Ron Jeremy (actor), Matthew Warzel (producer), Matthew Warzel (actor), Matthew Warzel (writer), Tom Gore (miscellaneous crew), Brandon Luck (actor), Shane Thompson (writer), Shane Thompson (actor), Shane Thompson (actor), Tyler Wirtanen (director), Randy Grazio (actor), Colin Conners (actor), Brick Jackson (actor), Nathan Marcus Smith (actor), Matt McHugh (actor),

Genres: Comedy,

Kung Fu and Titties (2013)

Actors: Raine Brown (actress), Shawn C. Phillips (actor), Bronson Pinchot (actor), John Archer Lundgren (producer), John Archer Lundgren (actor), Randy Molnar (writer), Randy Molnar (producer), Bettina Skye (actress), Joseph McConnell (writer), Seregon O'Dassey (actress), Joseph McConnell (director), Kevin Kolack (producer), Kevin Kolack (actor), Dan Truman (actor), Stanislav Shkilnyi (actor),

Plot: Richard Titties, an out-of-shape martial arts wannabe, is shot into an alternate dimension after his girlfriend Cynthia is kidnapped. Her captors are a group of tittie obsessed madmen led by Zeefros, the master of the supernatural realm. Zeefros kidnaps women for the sole purpose of seeing their titties. Richard joins up with his sister Raine Brown, a Gorilla and a gaggle of other strange characters, in order to save his girlfriend. He must search inside, overcome his futile martial arts skills, and find the kung fu fighter within if he is to save himself and all those that dwell in the alternate world.

Genres: Comedy, Fantasy,
Taglines: If you don't already want to see this movie....you're probably gay. The only thing this movie needs is some good Chinese take-out. It's not porn. It's just great. This movie is WAY better than The Postman with Kevin Kostner... and there's a helluva lot of titties

Quotes:

Thug #3: Sir, you're destroying yourself. It's way too much refined sugar for you.

Richard Titties: Who the hell carries around packages of bologna in their bag?::Marv: You'll find out when you're my age.

Richard Titties: We could take these guys, you're a fighter, let's go!::Gorilla: That's just it, I'm a good fighter, you're not!

Thug #3: I don't know what an onion is, and I've never heard of this seasoning you speak of. Is that a type of woman?::Zeefros: You are the stupidest person in the world. How is it that you do not know what an onion is?::Thug #3: All I do is stand around here, fight people and bring you cups of grape juice. I'm sorry.

Living Deadhead (2012)

Actors: Mike Ancrile (actor), James Korloch (editor), James Korloch (director), James Korloch (writer), James Korloch (producer), James Korloch (writer), James Korloch (producer), James Korloch (writer), Gary L. Minix (actor), James Jenkins (actor), Delana Bach (producer), Delana Bach (miscellaneous crew), Jan Meyer (miscellaneous crew), Sarah H. Thompson (miscellaneous crew), John William Robinson (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Horror, Short,
Taglines: Nothing ruins a good buzz more than a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

Red Asphalt (2010)

Actors: Jesse Gale (editor), Jesse Gale (actor), Jesse Gale (actor), Joel Jutagir (actor), Joel Jutagir (actor), Joel Jutagir (actor), Joel Jutagir (director), Joel Jutagir (producer), Taylor Kennedy (actor), Daniel DuBois (actor), Shawn Lloyd (actor), Corey Duffel (actor), Shawn Lloyd (actor), Daniel DuBois (actor), Corey Duffel (actor),

Genres: Sport,

Phil the Alien (2004)

Actors: Ingrid Veninger (actress), Dahla MacKenna (miscellaneous crew), Joe Flaherty (actor), Jason Jones (actor), Seán Cullen (actor), John Kapelos (actor), Graham Greene (actor), Boyd Banks (actor), Katharine Jane Reid (miscellaneous crew), Dwayne Hill (actor), Mike Beaver (actor), Warren P. Sonoda (editor), Bruce Hunter (actor), Rob Stefaniuk (actor), Nicole de Boer (actress),

Plot: Near a backwoods Ontario small town, a young alien, on vacation, crashes in his ship. Disoriented, this confused young extraterrestrial is captured by a young boy who, after naming him Phil, introduces him to the stupor of hard liquor before the boy's hick father throws him out. Roaring drunk and bunking with a friendly talking beaver, Phil eventually wanders into a bar where his new addiction traps him even while he wants to go home. Meanwhile, a secret US black ops organization activates a drunken field agent to find the alien. However, while he searches, Phil's easily manipulated personality leads him down paths that profoundly affect his new native friends.

Keywords: alcoholic, alien, assassin, bar, bar-band, beaver, brothel, canada, character-name-in-title, christian-rock
Genres: Comedy, Sci-Fi,
Taglines: It is as it was.

Quotes:

Madame Madame: You mean you lied to me?::Sammy the Alien: Many, many times.

Jimmy: Tell them what you told me.::Phil the Alien: I like whiskey.::Jimmy: No, after that.::Phil the Alien: On my planet, there is no violence.::Ginger: That's so inspiring.::Phil the Alien: Except for twice a year when the weather changes, and then there is a brief period of ultra-violence.

Slim: Who doesn't love candy?::Candy: My parents.

[last lines]::Phil the Alien: Dave?::Dave: Yeah Phil?::Phil the Alien: C'mon let's go... you drive...::Dave: Really?::Phil the Alien: [holds up keys] Really...

Madame Madame: There is something about those falls.::Phil the Alien: Yeah. They inspire urination.

Phil the Alien: I must preach the gospel of... We're going to Niagara Falls. Get your shit.

Ginger: Jesus likes prostitutes right Phil?::Phil the Alien: Jesus loves all prostitutes.

Sammy the Alien: I'll have two of them prime ribs and in between them some peanut butter. A leather model of the Taj Mahal filled with some kind of jelly... I don't care, grape, blueberry, it doesn't matter. Some cats, a dwarf riding a pumpkin. Also, could I get a snake in the form of a man's belt with the belt hook right around its head. Spitting poison, constantly spitting poison. If you could poke it with a stick a couple of times before you bring it to the table. Also, could I have a flaming ice cream model of the planet Uranus. It's my favourite planet. I love ice cream and flames are quite exciting. And then id like some uh, could you just cover your fist with grape jelly and then punch me in the throat.

Madame Madame: [Phil is unresponsive to Madame Madame's advances] Does the possibility of sex with me terrify you that much?

Phil the Alien: I'm a magician beaver!

Santa's Magic Book (1996)

Actors: Art Leonardi (miscellaneous crew), Sonny Shroyer (actor), Sonny Shroyer (producer), Ken Mitchroney (producer), Ken Mitchroney (actor), Ken Mitchroney (actor), Ken Mitchroney (actor), Ken Mitchroney (writer), Mike Kazaleh (actor), Mike Kazaleh (actor), Mike Kazaleh (director), Gaston Santiso (editor), Don Hill (producer), Don Hill (actor), Buz McKim (actor),

Genres: Animation, Comedy,

The Smart Ass Delinquent (1993)

Actors: Jim Enright (director), Jonathan Morgan (actor), Steven St. Croix (actor), Rebecca Bardoux (actress), Debi Diamond (actress), Mike Horner (actor), Lynn LeMay (actress), Cash Markman (writer), Krystina King (actress),

Plot: The "Smart Ass" Krystina King is renting a room with a not-so-average American couple - a pair who seem frighteningly out of time. Every thing is perfectly normal, if the Twilight Zone is your idea of normal and perfect. Lynn LeMay and Mikem Horner are the strange couple. Just as strange, their son Wally and someone who sits at their dinner table known only as "the Beaver". The battle of wills - and there is always a battle of wills in a "Smart Ass" movie - comes down to whether the sitcom parents can instill their outdated morality into King, or if she, with the help of "the Beaver," can get LeMay and Horner to let their hair down ... along with their britches.

Keywords: hardcore, sex
Genres: Adult, Comedy,

Future Sodom (1987)

Actors: Jesse Eastern (actor), Britt Morgan (actress), Viper (actress), Gerard Damiano (producer), Paula Morton (writer), Gerard Damiano (director), Jim Enright (editor), Frank James (actor), Dan T. Mann (actor), William Margold (actor), Peter North (actor), Blake Palmer (actor), Jace Rocker (actor), Laurel Canyon (actress), Frankie Leigh (actress),

Genres: Adult,

Having It All! (1986)

Actors: Tom Byron (actor), Eric Edwards (actor), Frank James (actor), Harry Reems (actor), Brittany Stryker (actress), Richard Mailer (producer), Richard Mailer (director), Randy West (actor), Stacey Donovan (actress), Candie Evans (actress), Gail Force (actress), Tanya Foxx (actress), Sheena Horne (actress), Keisha (actress), Trinity Loren (actress),

Plot: Invited to a weekend getaway at the Sandoval Lodge with co-workers Duane and Frank, the recently promoted Randall is embarrassed when Sara, the knockout girlfriend he promised to bring, fails to show up. Despite her reassurances over the phone, Sara keeps finding reasons not to catch the train to the lodge, leaving Randall hiding out to avoid being the "fifth wheel".

Keywords: hardcore, sex
Genres: Adult,

Quotes:

[first lines]::The Beaver: Howdy folks, welcome to the Sandoval Lodge. It's always nice to see new faces. I'll be your driver while you're here. You can call me, 'The Beaver'.

[last lines]::Randall: [answering phone] Hello?::Sara: Randy, hi, good news...::Randall: Sara?::Sara: Yeah, we're all packed. Ready to go. I'll be there at 3:30.::Randall: Let me tell ya where I think ya oughta put those suitcases.

The Fourth King (1977)

Actors: Arnold Stang (actor), Bob McFadden (actor), Judith de Paul (producer), Ted Ross (actor), Alvin Cooperman (producer), Alvin Cooperman (writer), Seymour Reit (writer), Seymour Reit (writer), Romano Scarpa (director), Alan Baker (producer), Laurie Beechman (actress), Bruno Caliandro (producer), Ralph Affoumado (composer), Giancarlo Marchesi (miscellaneous crew), Renato M. Pachetti (producer),

Plot: The animals decide they must send a representative after the three wise men begin following the star of Bethlehem. Uno, the Lion, arrogantly decides he should be the one to go, and that he does not need any help. Feathers, who brought Jesus's birth to the attention of the animals, insists on traveling with him, and soon he is followed by a beaver, a rabbit, and a turtle. He foolishly allows himself to be captured by Roman soldiers, and never remembered to bring a gift...

Keywords: animal, anthropomorphism, bethlehem, christmas, friendship, reference-to-jesus-christ, roman, stockade, teamwork
Genres: Animation, Family, Fantasy, Musical, Short,