Christians are
... well, simple people. They want to go to
Heaven, they want to be forgiven for everything they do wrong, they want to live forever, they don't need proof of anything spiritual they live their life by in & if you try to question the philosophy that makes all that allegedly possible, they tend to get pretty irritated.
Well, there are plenty of religions that offer you an after life, or even reincarnation, which kinda makes more sense (no massive pile of souls just waiting to be woken up), so why stick to the religion that literally promotes oppressing women, killing innocent gay people/witches etc & generally being totally awful to most people who are unlike Christians...?
Makes no sense.
Really, most people believe what they are taught to believe... like a bunch of kids who were never told the truth about
Santa not being real... only Santa in this context = God.
Cyr's
Channel:
http://youtube.com/cyr1216
The Original Script:
10
THINGS I
HATE ABOUT CHRISTIANS
1. They sound crazy.
Greg: What are you doing?
Cyr: I’m praying to God.
Greg: What’s that?
Cyr: I’m talking to the creator of all things.
Greg: Are you wearing a bluetooth headset?
Cyr: He doesn’t need a phone to hear me silly.
Greg: Is he in the room or something?
Cyr: No, he’s everywhere all time.
Greg: …
Cyr: …
Greg: *backing away*
Cyr: …
Greg: *closed door*
2. They cherry pick what parts of the
Bible they follow.
Cyr: You know God says that we should kill witches so if I ever meet one…
Greg: You would kill a witch?
Cyr:

Greg: Oh, well you eat
Bacon and guess what?

Cyr: Well… um…
Greg: You can stop being a nutcase now.
3. They try to oppress people
and sound like they’re still good people.
Cyr: I don’t mean to judge anyone, but I just think gay people shouldn’t get married.
Greg: So, gay people shouldn’t have the rights you do?
Cyr:
It’s not me, it’s the Bible, the Bible says:

Greg:
Meanwhile you have long hair, the bible says

Cyr: OH NO I
DON’T
WANT TO
GO TO HELL!!!
4. They often preach about respecting religious beliefs so long as the religion is theirs.
Cyr: There is a war on Christians right now and it is unacceptable.
Religious freedom is part of the foundation of our great nation.
Greg: Muslims.
Cyr: They’re all terrorists & they should be banned from our country!
Greg: You’re an idiot.
5. They literally believe God will forgive most anything.
Cyr: *knock knock knock&
Greg:
Ugh, you’re not trying to get me to go to your church are you?
Cyr:
Nope, I’m just here to let you know I’m moving in next door and I’m a registered sex offender. I may or may not have raped and molested multiple people.
Greg: …ok so I’m definitely moving now.
Cyr:
Don’t judge me, the Bible says

Greg: Literally ALL unrighteousness? So… there are going to be a lot of pedophiles and rapists in heaven then.
Cyr:
Judge not lest…
Greg: *slams door*
6. Most Christians are
Republicans, making them massive hypocrites.
Cyr: I love the
Republican party.
Greg: Why?
Cyr: Because they’re anti-abortion, pro guns & often
Christian like me.
Greg: Really? Because the Republican party is all about promoting the rich, and rich people are literally not allowed to go to heaven.
Cyr: That’s crazy.
Greg:

Cyr:
What the heck?
Greg: You just witnessed it, me destroying the republican party.
Cyr: What the heck!
7. A lot of them act like they have certain values one second only to be horrible the next.
Greg: *drops something on the floor*
GOD DAMN IT
Cyr: Oh! You shouldn’t take the lord’s name in vain.
Greg:
Yeah ok… wait what are you doing?
Cyr: Oh, I’m jerking off to po.
Greg:

Cyr:
Shut the fuck up, we’re not in church.
Greg:
Wow.
8. A ridiculous amount of religious leaders have been accused of sexual crimes.
Cyr1216:
Hey Onision wasn’t your dad a pastor for a
Christian church who was accused of molesting both children and grown women?
Onision:
Yes.
Cyr1216: Huh, but I’m sure you’re dad is just an isolated example of religious corruption.
Onision: yeah, That’s definitely the case.
9. They oppress women
Greg: You know your religion is horrible to women right?
Cyr: Nuh uh!
Greg:

Cyr: That’s ONE example.
Greg:
Deuteronomy 22:28 says if a man rapes a woman he merely has to pay her father money, and then the woman has to marry her rapist.
Cyr: That’s obserd!
Greg: *hands him the Bible*
Cyr:
Holy crap.

10.
Despite knowing how truly screwed up their religion is, they still follow it.
Greg: You realize the bible is pro slavery right?
Cyr: What’s the quote this time?
Greg:

Cyr: That’s the old testament.
Greg: It’s still the Bible.
Cyr: Yeah, but it’s the old testament.
Greg: It’s the book you proclaim to be holy.
The Holy Bible???
Cyr: Still old testament.
Greg:
Fine!

Greg: That’s the Bible promoting slavery in the new testament.
Cyr: …oh.
Greg: You’re still a Christian aren’t you.
Cyr:
Yep!
Greg: idiot.
Cyr: Yep!
- published: 19 Jan 2016
- views: 269018