Bond, Jennie Filmography

• Newsflash: Stories That Stopped the World
  2013, role: actress , character name: Herself - Former BBC Royal Correspondent
• Most Shocking Celebrity Moments 2012
  2012, role: actress , character name: Herself
• William at 30
  2012, role: actress , character name: Herself - Former BBC Royal Correspondent
• TV's Biggest Blockbusters
  2012, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The Royal History of Pop
  2012, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Most Shocking Celebrity Moments 2011
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Most Shocking Talent Show Moments
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Greatest Christmas TV Moments
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Most Shocking Celebrity Moments 2010
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Celebrity Shock List 2009
  2009, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Best Ever Worst Dance Moments
  2008, role: actress , character name: Herself
• 50 Greatest Families
  2008, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Blackadder's Most Cunning Moments
  2008, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Secrets of Celebrity Stars in Their Eyes
  2007, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Driving Me Crazy: Motoring Special
  2007, role: actress , character name: Herself - Presenter
• How to Marry a Prince
  2007, role: actress , character name: Herself
• 100 Greatest Funny Moments
  2006, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Scoop! The Greatest Tabloid Headlines
  2006, role: actress , character name: Herself
• TV's 50 Greatest Stars
  2006, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Britain's Greatest Monarch
  2005, role: actress , character name: Presenter
• Forty Years of Fuck
  2005, role: actress , character name: Herself
• 2005 TV Moments
  2005, role: actress , character name: Herself
• An Audience with Joe Pasquale
  2005, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Mr Countdown: A Tribute to Richard Whiteley
  2005, role: actress , character name: Herself
• DiscoMania 2: Don't Stop the Music
  2005, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Shameful Secrets of the 80s
  2005, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Jennie Bond's Royals
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Test the Nation: The National IQ Test 2004
  2004, role: actress , character name: Celebrity Participant
• The 100 Greatest Christmas Moments
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself
• All the Queen's Cooks
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself
• EastEnders: Christmas Party
  2003, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Have I Got News for You: The Best of the Guest Presenters
  2003, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The Jubilee Girl
  2002, role: actress , character name: interviewee
• The Very Best of 'Have I Got News for You'
  2002, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Cash in the Attic
  2002, role: actress , character name: Presenter
• The Jubilee Girl
  2002, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Test the Nation: The National 2002 Test
  2002, role: actress , character name: Herself - Celebrity Participant
• Night of a Thousand Faces
  2001, role: actress , character name: Herself - Mockstars Contestant
• BBC News at Ten O'Clock
  2000, role: actress , character name: Herself - Royal Correspondent
• Blackadder Back & Forth
  1999, role: actress , character name: Royal Reporter
• Election 97
  1997, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Election 92
  1992, role: actress , character name: Herself - Reporter
• Nine O'Clock News
  1970, role: actress , character name: Herself - Royal Correspondent

Bond, Jenny Filmography

• In Anal Sluts We Trust 2
  2010, role: actress

Bond, Jenny Filmography

• The Help
  2011, role: miscellaneous crew

Famous quotes by Jennie Bond:

"The Queen's thoughts will have been with her daughter"

"The Duke of Edinburgh has perfected the art of saying hello and goodbye in the same handshake."

• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• Trophy Wives - Jonbenet
• Stolen Home - Jonbenet
• Scratch The Roman Numerals - Jonbenet
• It Made Them Sick - Jonbenet
• Eleventh Century Folklore - Jonbenet
• Eating Lightning Pt. Ii - Jonbenet
• Eating Lightning Pt. I - Jonbenet
• Dramarama - Jonbenet
• Devils - Jonbenet
• Behold The White Whore - Jonbenet
• Bartleby - Jonbenet
• Ten Little Bottles - Johnny Bond
• Hot Rod Lincoln - Johnny Bond
• Headin' Down The Wrong Highway - Johnny Bond
• 10 Little Bottles - Johnny Bond

Shake, shake, shake
Loose that single gleam of hope left in your chest
Gone are the days of sunshine
The days of sunshine, I promise
Breath taking photographs
Of dreams long forgotten
Your ship has sank
Wrong place, wrong time
Squeal once more for papa
This is not about money, oh no
This is a sport
Hair that smells of fear and
Eyes that scream, solitude
Companionship is just another
Fucking curse
You can't buy friends like this
You can't buy friends like this
You can't buy friends like this
Bite and scratch all you like
Bite and scratch all you like

Hold on just a god damn minute
This commercial is yet to be over
I can't wait to try this knife out
I seriously can't wait
Yellow paint won't cover bloodstains
And yellow paint won't cover these rumors
Won't cover these rumors
This blade
Your neck
All of my values
All of my values
In a little basket
I've started over
Yellow paint won't cover bloodstains
And yellow paint won't cover these rumors
Won't cover these rumors
Sit closer, honey
I've tried my best, I promise
And I can't wait to get these clothes off
I'm so tired, I'm fucking tired
Yellow paint won't cover bloodstains
And yellow paint won't cover these rumors
Won't cover these rumors
Won't cover these rumors
Won't cover these rumors
Won't cover these rumors
I've started over
I've started over
I've started over
Sweet skin, can't get it close enough to me
I want to be covered
Running my fingers straight through her hair
Just like mothers, this is my new life
Yellow paint won't cover bloodstains
And yellow paint won't cover these rumors

I fell asleep on your gun again
Last night it was warmer than before
My eyes are burning
For every sigh I hear
I'll roll over so you can reach
For the trigger
Is it aimed at my head
Are we making any progress
Are we making any progress
Why are we in bed together
Do that one more time
Right where I think
My legs might connect
It gets annoying
But I'll bear with it this time
I don't talk to every girl like this
I don't talk
Baby, these things feel good
Baby, these things feel good
Baby, these things feel so good
Baby, these things feel good
Baby, these things feel good
Baby, these things feel so good
Is it aimed at my head
Are we making any progress
Are we making any progress
This bed isn't getting any bigger
This bed isn't getting any bigger
And these sheets don't keep me warm at night
Is it aimed at my head
Are we making any progress

I'm a waste of human skin
that a better brain could go
in a living pile of shit
who gets sick at the thought of it
my heart is slowly sinking into a hell
that won't heal with drinking
keep killing them when they start healing
I'm a bastard with no heart
and I think I've been fucked from the start
please take me away from this world
at least just for one day
then I know the fear won't ever go away through

Arched back and a couple of slit wrists
How often can you tell me that I can't love you
Just maybe I can
Just maybe I can
Somehow I'll break those arms
And someday I'll break those arms
Watching Jesus Christ
Emerge in the form of a firearm
I sit back and relax
I sit back and relax
My wife of forty years
I raped her
He began that day like any other
Holding hands with savory little beauties
Let them know that you love them
And tell them all you want is to be cared for
That's all you want
Is to be cared for
That's all you want
Is to be cared for
Is to be cared for
Her eyes were calm

One hundred and eighty days have passed since I've been here
Trapped deep inside this white beast
We are it's hands we are it's blood
We are it's hands we are it's blood
Cold streets are what we follow
Lined with torn apart souls
Dark hearts are being hidden
To be found on our way home
Speak now or forever hold your peace
Speak now or forever hold your peace
A companionship broken for greed
A companionship broken for green
Secret agendas, rendezvous never spoken of behind the backs
Behind the backs of the ones you loved
You could have been there till the end
You could have been there till the end
The bitter end, the bitter end
When you said that it was go time
Well you should have, should have listened
It's your time to go, it's your time to go
A companionship broken for greed

Frozen, oh how I wish I was.
This time tonight couldn't be any better.
Freezing. oh, how uncertain I am.
The places, the faces
The places, the faces, where have I gone?
I've become the concrete that my feet will never meet.
I've become the concrete that my feet will never meet.
This street goes on forever.
This street goes on forever.
This street goes on forever.
This street goes on forever.
So tonight my sheets never existed.
These memories of laughter late at night won't be wasted.
Nine lives live as one in the worst of cities.
No one knows our names and our pockets are a pity.
So I'll scream each night until my throat runs dry.
So I'll scream until I wanna die.
And if it was so and I died by your side,
At that moment I'd know that I'd be just fine.
And if it was so and I died by your side,
At that moment I'd know that I'd be just fine.
Not too many get to live their life like mine.

Images burnt into my brain
Sharper than knives
This cat-scan fever consumes us all
This lump in our throat grows bigger
Sooner or later this cancer becomes you
Hatred towards each other
And a soiled friendship down the drain
Years later the fear of starting over
Has killed me inside
Don't you bother, bother
Don't bother
Your lies bleed together
What you said doesn't matter
Your lies bleed together
Rumors that fill this room
Save your drama for the soaps
Your heart beats when the bullshit starts
Save your drama for the soaps
Your heart beats when the bullshit starts
The stories grow like
Tumors inside my heart
Your words are a sickness
That there's no cure for
They hit the ears of others
And spread like a virus
How can I ever start believing
What I am hearing
The germs take you over
The words become your savior
You can't breathe without it
You can't live without it
Your lies bleed together
What you said doesn't matter
Your lies bleed together
Rumors that fill this room
I'd love to see you think for your own

Things can happen in an instant,
and things can go unnoticed,
and things can be blurted out without question
I know I have no reason to feel the way that I do
I know I have no reason to feel the way I do, way I do feel about you
I told myself that I was through yeah
I told myself that I was through
I told myself that I was through but am I really through with you
Me with my other you've found another these devils on my shoulder have torn me apart
Me with my other you've found another these devils on my shoulder have torn me apart
Me with my other you've found another these devils on my shoulder have torn me apart
Feeling cheated is ridiculous on my part but it's there for some reason it's there
I set myself up for destruction, I think I knew it from the start
I set myself up for destruction, I think I knew it from the start
I set myself up for destruction, I think I knew it from the start

The speakeasy parlor was filled with many a fair lady,
Fallen victim to another mind rape by their Christian fathers.
It was never easy to show them I loved them,
He said as He was removed from the booth.
No one had the time to listen to Him, they don't care.
It wasn't His thing to talk like that,
Waking up the next day in a nightmare of a grey colored room
Full of friends with no names and metal as cold as hell.
This was yet another favorite of His,
Conscious effort was put into everything that He didn't do and
Everything else was a failed plan.
Why didn't this work?
If only gratitude could get you somewhere.
If only gratitude could get you somewhere.
Censor His bleeding hands, broken teeth and blood-red hair.
This is His love. yet another day blessed with His presence.
Continue to beat Him, this is His love.
Coughing up His mother's love all over a plate of refurbished organisms,
This is His love. oh mother Mary, forgive them, for they have won.
Spoken fast enough to spark a memory into everyone's tired mind.
Built upon a cross of clothes and thorns of wrinkled scarves,
And hung from a ceiling, and sent to every child's living room.
Depictions of life as told by a subdued body within us all.

The tea kettle called it arson
But I assured him it was only treason
It was only treason
Bought with a passion and sold for less than a fortune
These glass eyes only break if you catch them
This all must end between the rocks and the sea
This drink of kings once passed over this deck
Once passed over this deck
It was all in good humor
Was all in good humor
Was all in good humor
Was all in good humor
I swear
I swear
I swear
One, two, three, four
I swear
I swear

A friend of mine gave me ten little bottles
Of some special stuff that he brewed up his-self
So I took it and hid it down in my basement
But my wife found out about it and she told me to get
rid of it or else
And since I didn't like the way she said or else
I went down there and proceeded to carry out her
instructions
I sat the ten little bottles on the drainboard
Picked up the first bottle, pulled the cork out of it
And poored it down the sink
That is, um, all except one little swallow - which I
drank
I picked up the next bottle and I pulled the cork out
of it
And poured it down the sink
All except one little swallow - which I drank
I picked up the next bottle and I pulled the sink out
of it
And I poured it down the cork
All except one little swallow - which I drank
I picked up the next cork and I pulled the bottle out
of it
And I poured it down the sink
All except one little drink - which I drank
I picked up the next sink and I pulled the cork out of
And I poured it down the bottle
All except one little swallow - which I sank
I picked up the next drink and I pulled the swallow out
of it

Have you heard this story of the Hot Rod Race
When Fords and Lincolns was settin the pace.
That story is true, Im here to say
I was drivin that Model A.
Its got a Lincoln motor and its really souped up.
That Model A Vitimix makes it look like a pup.
Its got eight cylinders uses them all.
Its got overdrive, just wont stall.
With a 4-barrel carb and a dual exhaust,
With 4.11 gears you can really get lost.
Its got safety tubes, but I aint scared.
The brakes are good, tires fair.
Pulled out of San Pedro late one night
The moon and the stars was shinin bright.
We was drivin up Grapevine Hill
Passing cars like they was standing still.
All of a sudden in a wink of an eye
A Cadillac sedan passed us by.
I said, Boys, thats a mark for me!
By then the taillight was all you could see.
Now the fellas was ribbin me for bein behind,
So I thought Id make the Lincoln unwind.
Took my foot off the gas and man alive,
I shoved it on down into overdrive.
Wound it up to a hundred-and-ten
My speedometer said that I hit top end.
My foot was blue, like lead to the floor.
Thats all there is and there aint no more.
Now the boys all thought Id lost my sense
And telephone poles looked like a picket fence.
They said, Slow down! I see spots!
The lines on the road just look like dots.
Took a corner sideswiped a truck,
Crossed my fingers just for luck.
My fenders was clickin the guardrail posts.
The guy beside me was white as a ghost.
Smoke was comin from out of the back
When I started to gain on that Cadillac.
Knew I could catch him, I thought I could pass.
Dont you know by then wed be low on gas?
We had flames comin from out of the side.
Feel the tension. Man! What a ride!
I said, Look out, boys, Ive got a license to fly!
And that Caddy pulled over and let us by.
Now all of a sudden she started to knockin,
And down in the dips she started to rockin.
I looked in my mirror a red light was blinkin
The cops was after my Hot Rod Lincoln!
They arrested me and they put me in jail.
And called my pappy to throw my bail.
And he said, Son, youre gonna drive me to drinkin

Too many sweethearts and none of them true
Done too many things that I shouldn't do
I made lots of money all spent the wrong way
Headin' down the wrong highway
I made lots of friends but now they're all gone
Too many mem'ries that still linger on
I had too many drinks both night and day
Headin' down the wrong highway
[ fiddle ]
Too many heartaches and too many tears
Crowded too much in just a few years
I want to go right but I've lost my way
Headin' down the wrong highway
I've lost everything lost all my friends
God only knows how this all will end
Drinking and gambling both night and day

A friend of mine gave me ten little bottles
Of some special stuff that he brewed up his-self
So I took it and hid it down in my basement
But my wife found out about it and she told me to get
rid of it or else
And since I didn't like the way she said or else
I went down there and proceeded to carry out her
instructions
I sat the ten little bottles on the drainboard
Picked up the first bottle, pulled the cork out of it
And poored it down the sink
That is, um, all except one little swallow - which I
drank
I picked up the next bottle and I pulled the cork out
of it
And poured it down the sink
All except one little swallow - which I drank
I picked up the next bottle and I pulled the sink out
of it
And I poured it down the cork
All except one little swallow - which I drank
I picked up the next cork and I pulled the bottle out
of it
And I poured it down the sink
All except one little drink - which I drank
I picked up the next sink and I pulled the cork out of
And I poured it down the bottle
All except one little swallow - which I sank
I picked up the next drink and I pulled the swallow out
of it
And I poured it down the sink
All except one little drink - I think
Well anyway by this time it's plain to see
That them little bottles of mine, let's see now
How many bottles have I got left - which I drank
Now I'm askin' you wasn't that a awful thing for my
wife to make me do
Bless her little heart, bl-less her little heart, I'm
tellin' ya one thing
You better not say nothin' against my wife buster
'Cause I'll have you know, I'll - have - you - know
That I've got da wifest little nice you ever saw in
your [hicc]